lack of thought - 60th birthday presents

[Geordiescot]

So my hubby got me really rubbish presents for my 60th birthday. He has always got rubbish presents but I thought/ hoped he might have made an effort for a big birthday. I said I would like him to get me something special that would mean something. I ended up with a crap candle, a man's jumper from George, a hoodie (George), a 60 th birthday card game and some other crap I can't even remember. When I spoke to him about it and expressed my disappointment he said "it's just not me". To be fair his other birthday/Christmas presents have also been crap and we've been together for 25 yrs. AIBU to be upset?

I think there's often different ways in which people view presents.

I love lots of little presents wrapped up, frivolous things that I would pick up and think 'thats nice ' but not buy for myself.

My husband loves a practical gift. Tools. Stuff for his hobby. A book about his hobby. Stuff that would make me yawn.

I said once I needed new work shoes - comfy ones and he offered to buy them. This was not acceptable to me.

I have a friend who had a birthday coming up and she told me she had told her husband and kids her expectations - a cake with sparkly candles, flowers or balloon, a gift card to her favourite shop (she might have sent a wish list as an alternative, I can't remember) and dinner at home to be cooked and cleaned up after (she told them her three favourite meals and they could pick from that).

I thought at first it was a bit "functional" but she said she always knows she will have a nice day and get something she likes.

Or do what my granny did at Christmas - hand out the Argos catalogue, set a budget and tell us girls to circle three things we would like in that range! Then she would pick in so there's still be an element of surprise. I mean, you don't need to use the Argos Catalogue but you get what I mean I'm sure.

I see lots of posts where people say they're not happy with the presents their partners got them - even when they've known for years that their partners are useless at buying gifts. I just tell my DH what I want and I'm never disappointed! OK, some people will say it should be a surprise but after reading so many posts where women are really upset by their gifts I'd rather rake my approach and get what I want.
My ex was an excellent gift buyer so I just let him get on with the present buying - but he was awful in every other way. My DH isn't so great at buying gifts but is a wonderful DH.

You don't need to get a grip, just don't take it personally. Because I exchanged a couple (only 2) of presents from dh 30 years ago, he then wanted me to choose my own gifts and so I began to wrote a few ideas down, though it felt awkward to me at first....like asking or greedy or something. But it is difficult to make a practical non romantic person come up with good ideas.

You have been together for 25 years and he hasn’t given great presents for that time. What made you think he would suddenly discover the perfect present and buy it?!!

If you’re the type of person that enjoys receiving presents then give him a list to buy from or some direction. Or treat yourself and ask him not to get you anything