To ask for a contribution to a parking fine?

[Zenana]

I met a friend for drinks a fortnight ago who suggested a pub I was unfamiliar with. There was a car park behind. I received a £100 demand for parking where apparently shouldn't. Admittedly I didn't look at signs but as my friend lived nearby I took their word for it.

I picked up the friend from home and drove them back too. What do you think?

First ever post and rant

I'd like to know opinions if I should go back to child maintenance service.
I used it in 2021 but behind my back our childs dad had put his girlfriends child on the cms, the gf had her own council house and benefits so it was clearly his way to reduce cms.

When they split up he begged me to come off cms as it changed to more and me being stupid felt sorry for him, he said if he was to pay me weekly he would have enough to do things with our child and would also contribute to activities and things she needs (didn't happen) so I closed the case.

Recently I've asked if he would help with swimming lessons ,at first I got 'I thought it was scheme through school' our child is 5 and doesn't go swimming with school. Then he told me to get a job and stop living off him.

I'm currently on universal credit and looking for work, the last interview I had said they don't have school hours. Obviously I took offence at his message and said about his maintenance already reduced and me providing everything including the school uniform we were meant to go halves on. It got worse from there calling me all sorts because I'm living with my parents and if I can't provide a house and having money issues then he would happily take me to court and have our child full time whilst I pay HIM maintenance.

It went back and forth and he said I would receive less as he would put his new girlfriends child on the cms as other child despite the child having his mum and dad paying for him, then said he he'd also put his new baby on (his girlfriend is pregnant).

Basically I'm dealing with a narcissist here. He would rather add someone's child he does not pay for than pay the proper amount for his own. I've had years of name calling and being bullied. I'm told to stop being a money grabbing scrounge and use my benefits (uc) Then today he's telling me he will give an extra £5 this is after being a 'scrounge'. It's not even about the money anymore I'm fed up of the control, feeling intimidated if I was to ask for help, then being told I'm begging when he has a baby on the way and bills. We had an argument last time and I was worried he would stop maintenance because its him that put the standing order in. Nothings legal it's all down to him. I'm worrying letting this arrangement continue is another way of control.

Just need some advice please

Harsh and nasty comment. If she gave her a lift she was already out of pocket from paying for petrol. A good friend would offer a contribution.

Have you contacted the pub? Usually the car parks don't belong to them and there's not much they can do, but if you can prove via bank statement that you were there paying for drinks it might be worth a try.

It is worth speaking to the pub OP to see if they can help. This happened to my brother in law and because he could prove that he had been at the pub they overturned the fine. I think the pub does have some autonomy to do this.

I wouldn't ask any friend related question on mumsnet - the friendships here are really strange.

Put yourself in your friends shoes: if I found out that after telling someone it was ok to park, they then got fined and didn't mention it to me, I'd be upset. I'd feel partly responsible and want to contribute.

That's just me tho!

Your responsibility I'm afraid. You are in charge of the car, where you park it, how fast you drive etc etc. I would not expect anyone to pay but myself, although I'd be annoyed with myself for it happening but it's not your friends fault or bill to pay.

Exactly :)

I think it's a private company. I've left the letter at home so I'll check when I get back.

I'm not attempting to blame my friend either.

I'd do exactly the same.

Similar happened to me recently. Drove with a friend to get coffee and then shopping. I overstayed the 90 mins and got a £60 fine. I didn't even mention it to her as I was driving and should have been aware of parking rules.

@Anon3211 This is about parking so if you start your own thread people will see it and reply.

It’s on you I’m afraid

I've already stated this was not a pay and display and there was no request to log your car registration. My friend said it's a free car park and I believed it. Silly me.

Contact the pub and explain the situation. The time limits are usually there to stop people parking and going elsewhere. If you have proof you were in the pub, e.g. bank transactions, etc then they may remove the fine.

I've had a fine removed for me in a similar circumstance before

This.

I got a fine at a pub because you had to log your car details with them to prove you were a customer. I hadn't seen the sign saying that. I contacted the pub and they got the fine wiped for me as I had indeed been a customer.

@FairAcre

harsh & nasty 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Do be serious.

why on Earth would a good friend offer to pay towards a parking fine? The person driving is responsible for parking properly, not the passenger.

woukd you say the same for a speeding fine??

@LakieLady what a nightmare!!! I'm glad you finally got it sorted though.

its not perfect, but it certainly helps pub patrons to be able to park & spend money in the pub instead of at all the surrounding businesses & people visiting houses near by.

I think it's down to you as the driver to check where you can park and pay the fine if you incur one. Unless there was a conversation where she said something like "It says that but it's my work and it's fine because I've cleared it" or whatever.

I'd expect her to contribute tbh - I certainly would If I was the friend here

I'd also be inclined to believe when a friend told me that a local car park that they presumably know well was free and belonged to the pub

You've already put yourself out to be the designated driver why should this also cost you £100. A decent friend would offer to split if surely...

I'd say to friend " you know the car park you told me to park in that's free, well I've just got a big fine for parking there "

Now if that was my friend I'd say "shit I'm so sorry i will pay the fine " or you could do 50 each ?

Now if the friend offered nothing, well I'd rethink that friendship.

A fortnight ago...
So you received the PCN within 14 days?

Normally they halve the fine if paid within a certain time so to ask the full £100 is a bit cheeky.

Yanbu, they told you it was the free pub car park, they are local and you would reasonably expect them to have that level of knowledge before they tell their friend, who gave them a lift there and back, to park there as it is free.

It really is. Totally ridiculous and not the same at all.

Your friend said it was a free car park. Which it was!! She clearly wasn't aware of a time limit... BUT that responsibility (of checking signs) is on you.

I feel like either this is a reverse
Or you are a person who doesn't take responsibility for your own actions and blames others for your shortcomings.

Agreed. The former is for road usage and the driver is responsible for ensuring they are driving with due care and attention, which involves how they drive and that they are fit to drive. Roads have uniform standards and signage is largely predictable. The latter is about a private car park, which has specific rules as set out by the landowner and/or their agent and designed specifically to accommodate a parked vehicle.

I would speak to your friend op and try to sound her out as suggested.