Are 30s really considered old?

[Mrsblobby12]

I know it's really not in the grand scheme of it, but the way people are commenting on it is just getting me down a little.
Plus these days with all the cosmetic enhancements available it's difficult to tell people's actual age.
I've just had a friend of 8 years who somehow didn't know my age tell me in shock that she didn't know I was 32 but that I look 'amazing' for my age.
It's not the first time I've heard the 'for my age' comments
I think it's laughable really, if they'd said 'You look very well for 76' then ok, but saying I look well 'for 32' honestly just makes me feel bad and I find it ridiculous.
I know there is a lot of unconscious bias in how people think. I suppose that decades ago 30 would have been seen as ancient.
There's also an obsession with youth and being in your so called 'prime' in your 20s, then you're expected to be 'settled down ' in your 30s because after 35 you're some sort of shrivelled up prune who men are no longer attracted to.
I know I'm just ranting a bit but as I'm getting older I'm finding out more and more harsh truths about the world.
I suppose we just have ideas about how people should look and act at certain ages, even though the world has moved on.

I never really noticed aging and still felt about 22 until peri menopause hit in my mid-40s. Then my waist line expanded, my face collapsed and I just felt so bloody tired!

Well it’s just perspective isn’t it! When you’re in your twenties the thirties is old. When you’re on your fourties then it’s young. Lots of people are showing signs of aging in their thirties, so yes you can look younger for your age in your thirties.

Oh do be quiet 🙄🤣

Only really stupid or really unimaginative people think 30 is old.

But this is Mumsnet where ageism rages.

Quite. OP actually said "if they'd said 'You look very well for 76' then ok".

It's offensive to ask people where they come from but this shit is still fine

Yeah I understand how you feel about this. I'm 36 and the shocked reactions I get when people find out my age are jarring. It makes me pause and wonder if I'm really all that ancient? Because I don't feel old, but people react like I'm revealing that I'm actually 75!

To further elaborate on that, some of my colleagues are 27 and they assumed I was the same age as them. They reacted with such shock when finding out my age, it's kind of off putting. Obviously it's flattering but at the same time it makes me feel strange. Just yesterday I was asked to produce ID to prove I was over 18 when I bought a plastic paint scraper at B&Q. I mean come on now.

I also don't get as much respect at work as I'd expect to with my experience. I've had senior management make comments about me being a youngster and "when you're grown up ...." remarks Etc. So while it can be flattering there's a downside to looking young.

Why do people care so much about age? I can't see it matters. Most of us grow from child to adult and, all being well, live into our 70s and 80s. It's a waste of time and energy to worry about how old we look. Better to spend that energy making the most of life. I'm 76 and don't care who knows

I’m 33 and I’m not old nor do I look it

I know, people always tell me I look younger than 32. I don’t, 32 is young.

I view aging az a priviledge tbh. I think a lot of it is to do with working in elderly care but I listen to their experiences. I thought "I get to turn 25" rather than "omg I'm turning 25".

Because I work with the elderly if I hear someone died in their 70s my reaction is "they were so young" as I regularly interact with people in their 90s and 100s.

When I was in College aged 20 a "mature" student joined the class (a lovely lady from what I recall) - she was 24 and I mind thinking she was positively ancient!!

I'm 38 and regularly get told that people can't believe it, that I look good for my age etc. It is depressing. Wouldn't mind that said a decade on but saying it to someone under 40 is a bit odd.
The most pathetic was when someone said I looked really good for my age when I was just 27.
I think it's when women hit 35 or over that the comments start getting a bit silly. Like wow, I would never put you at that age etc etc. As if you suddenly start ageing rapidly as soon as you hit 35 kind of thing. Women are meant to look generally youthful in their 30's because its still a relatively young age yet you get others who treat you as though you are an old lady who is a rarity for looking young and good as they work through their thirties.
Weird really.

With that said, I did have a moment of shock the other day when I realised my 19 Yr old colleague could technically be my daughter, that horrifies me!

In 10/20 years time you're going to look back at this thread and laugh 😂

I think most people will compliment you politely when you tell them your age with a platitude like “you look great for your age/ I thought you were younger”

No one’s going to say “Aw have you had a hard life, I put you as early fifties”

Surprised this is “getting you down”
but don’t tell people your age if you’re going to take any compliments this badly 😂

😂

I can clearly remember being 19 and starting at my first full time job and meeting my line manager, who was 24.

I remember exactly what I thought...'Christ, imagine being that old and still 'only' doing this, what a waste'. And then of course the vague imaginings of the fabulous things I'd be doing at that vast age of 24.

I'm now 36 and still work for the same employer 😂

@PucketyPuckPuck 😂

The arrogance of youth eh?

People never talk to me about my age, I'm 38. I don't think it's really talked about unless you people try and bring it up about themselves. It's quite weird to just bring up someone's age. There are other things in life. I wouldn't say someone looked older even if they did! You seem a bit fixated on it.

With that said, I did have a moment of shock the other day when I realised my 19 Yr old colleague could technically be my daughter, that horrifies me!

I had a similarly weird thought recently. A new girl has just joined youngest dcs class (they're 6). I was speaking to the mum in the yard and absently thought to myself she looks very young to have a 6 year old, I'd not have put her over 21. Then I thought, Jesus, I'm old enough that I could be her mother (36), how the hell did that happen. Then my final realisation was that if I was old enough to be her mother and we have dc the same age, technically I'm old enough that I could be ds3's grandmother 😱 Then I stopped because fucking hell.

As a teacher I've been ancient to kids since about 25. At 26 I had my first child and since then I've felt like the adult in the room, well sometimes, and even the 18yr olds are kids to me. Brilliant fun though, I love teenagers. I'm nearly 40 and the same as 26 tbh! I think it stays like that until 70ish a few years after retirement when you feel old.

Someone in their twenties thinking that 32 is old is exactly as meaningful and objective as a three-year-old being glassy-eyed with admiration at the maturity and wisdom of a seven-year-old.

This, OP. When DH and I were 20, we had a friend who was 30. We were amazed that this geriatric was cool enough to still go clubbing and listen to dance music, and not tucked up listening to Radio 2 of an evening. Twenty five years later, aged 45 ourselves, we can see how ridiculous that was.

I think most women are in their prime mid thirties to forties- Very few signs of ageing and by that age more comfortable in your own skin, you’ve worked out what clothes suit you, you re sexually more experienced and confident.

However there’s no point getting hung up on age. No point comparing yourself to others. I can’t remember the last time I asked an adult their age actually.

Tomorrow you’ll be older than yesterday, it’s not great to dwell.

There is a wide range of parental ages at DS’s school, and I found out last year that one of the “mums” was actually a nan, and younger than me (I had DS aged 37, so not particularly old myself).