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Original poster

Are 30s really considered old?

54 replies

Mrsblobby12 · 20/05/2023 06:10

I know it's really not in the grand scheme of it, but the way people are commenting on it is just getting me down a little.
Plus these days with all the cosmetic enhancements available it's difficult to tell people's actual age.
I've just had a friend of 8 years who somehow didn't know my age tell me in shock that she didn't know I was 32 but that I look 'amazing' for my age.
It's not the first time I've heard the 'for my age' comments
I think it's laughable really, if they'd said 'You look very well for 76' then ok, but saying I look well 'for 32' honestly just makes me feel bad and I find it ridiculous.
I know there is a lot of unconscious bias in how people think. I suppose that decades ago 30 would have been seen as ancient.
There's also an obsession with youth and being in your so called 'prime' in your 20s, then you're expected to be 'settled down ' in your 30s because after 35 you're some sort of shrivelled up prune who men are no longer attracted to.
I know I'm just ranting a bit but as I'm getting older I'm finding out more and more harsh truths about the world.
I suppose we just have ideas about how people should look and act at certain ages, even though the world has moved on.

OP posts:
Worldgonecrazy · 20/05/2023 06:17

A long time ago, but I found hitting 30 much harder than hitting 40 or 50. I think when we hit 30 we are more aware of getting older but haven’t yet got the wisdom and appreciation that comes with years.

Growing older beats the alternative.

Beezknees · 20/05/2023 06:19

Depends who you are talking to. 30s is ancient if you're talking to gen z. But young if you're talking to someone older.

I'm 33 and my DS thinks that's old, but at work I'm the youngest in my office (next youngest is 45 and the others are all over 50) and I'm frequently referred to as "young Beezknees" there.

Chispazo · 20/05/2023 06:22

Very young people will always view older (but still young) adults as older ime.

I have a lot of cousins about ten years younger than I am and i remember when I was 37, they were all expressing in a complimentary tone how they couldn't belieeeeve I was 37.

I just said 'thanks!' but I was thinking, I don't think its normal for a face to have fallen off at 37, I am healthy, use spf, don't drink, smoke, eat rubbish... so I was thinking ''of course I do not look a whole lot different to you''. But they did not seem to see it that way. I'd had no procedures. Still haven't. At 30 something I couldn't even have identified any real sign of ageing that could be 'fixed'.

Alaimo · 20/05/2023 06:22

I am 35 and work at a university. I'm surrounded all day by people who were not even born when 9/11 happened. I'm sure they think I'm old. When I was their age I also would have considered me old. I can't get too worked up about it.

Original poster
Mrsblobby12 · 20/05/2023 06:22

Yeah, I suppose it does!
I work with the elderly and even they say it ! 'Oh wow, you look about 25'.
I don't know why it's getting me down so much.
People think it's a compliment to be told you look younger than your age and I think that's a shame really. I'd really not care if someone said I looked 32 but it would be the end of the world for others.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mrsblobby12 · 20/05/2023 06:23

My friend who apparently didn't know my age is also 50 years old

OP posts:
NowZeusHasLainWithLeda · 20/05/2023 06:25

You seem a bit obsessed with how unbelievable it is that you're 30 given you look so young.

I expect you get asked for ID in pubs as well, do you?

Original poster
Mrsblobby12 · 20/05/2023 06:25

I've had the very first signs of ageing (small lines around the eyes, mouth and between the eyebrows) fat loss in face, slightly hollow under eyes etc. I started getting them when I was about 29.
I'm really not bothered about looking younger, rather just look fresh, well rested and have bright skin.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mrsblobby12 · 20/05/2023 06:26

That's a bit harsh 😂
No , actually I don't get IDd anymore!
I'm not obsessed with it, just getting me down that people say I look well 'for my age ' rather than just 'I look well'.

OP posts:
middleager · 20/05/2023 06:50

Honestly, I'm nearly 50 and would love to be 30 again. You are young, so enjoy it, because if you go down this road of worry at 30, how will you be at 40, 50, 60 or 70?
Please enjoy your 30s while you can!

Kaaplumff · 20/05/2023 06:51

I don't think 30s are old, I don't even think 40s are that old. Our life spans are about 80 years give or take, being old before we're half way is a depressing thought!

YouJustDoYou · 20/05/2023 06:52

I remember once I was in a bar and this 20 year old lad asked how old I was and I replied "27", and his mouth dropped open and he said , "WOW, you're OLD!". Yeah thanks mate! 😂

LodiDodi · 20/05/2023 06:53

I am 31. I think this is the sort of thing that is relative, really. Most people living in the developed world today still look and behave quite young by this age. Fewer people have had children, and those that have have had fewer children than in the past/ undeveloped countries. I last got asked for ID about a year ago, so similar situation. You've had over a decade of being an adult so you're probably less naive and have more experience. I have a lot of experience from moving around and going through hard stuff. That's the part of ageing people forget about, everyone is too obsessed with how many wrinkles they have to remember how many good times they've enjoyed, how many great conversations they've had, how many opportunities to grow through the good and bad.

Original poster
Mrsblobby12 · 20/05/2023 07:10

That's a great comment :)

OP posts:
Original poster
Mrsblobby12 · 20/05/2023 07:23

I remember being 18 and in my first year of uni, and having a 23 year old coursemate and thinking how old she was. How ridiculous looking back!

OP posts:
TheaBrandt · 20/05/2023 07:27

If you are 14 it’s ancient past it over the hill. If you are 50 it’s late youth.

I work with 90 year olds to them at 48 I’m a mere slip of a girl to my teens I’m the
ancient one

Nordicrain · 20/05/2023 07:27

Well the median age in the UK is 40.7. So you are younger than average.

To a 15 yo you arae probably getting on, but to a 90 yo you are a spring chicken.

Does it matter though? I don't get this obsession with (not) aging. It is afterall something we all have to do, and the negativity around it just speaks to the ageism of society.

kimbear87 · 20/05/2023 07:27

Remember, you are more than just a number. Your worth is not determined by your age or how well you fit into society's narrow standards. Embrace the wisdom and experiences that come with getting older and celebrate the unique beauty that you possess.

Original poster
Mrsblobby12 · 20/05/2023 07:29

I wasn't that bothered until all the 'for your age ' comments started in the last 2 years or so, then it just started to make me think more about it. I'll just try to not think about it anyway!

OP posts:
Random789 · 20/05/2023 07:32

Someone in their twenties thinking that 32 is old is exactly as meaningful and objective as a three-year-old being glassy-eyed with admiration at the maturity and wisdom of a seven-year-old.
There isn't any objectivity available here at all, and we probably shouldn't expect there to be. OP, I'm 60 now and I feel as wrongfooted and confused when someone defines me in terms of my great age as you did when your friend made that comment.
Until our bodies actually start to defeat us, we are all just adults, whether we are 20, 30, 60 or 76.

ZenNudist · 20/05/2023 07:32

I'm 45 so I see 30 as young. That said, at 27, 30 seemed old! I felt it was a grown up decade.

Now those in their 30s split between people with kids who have a life like mine and people still living like they are in their 20s.

32 was the first age I felt physically knackered. Having a child ages you.

You will never be so young again as you are today. So make the most of it!

bibbityboppityboo · 20/05/2023 07:33

Honestly I've just hit 30, and it felt like the hugest ageing hurdle ever. I was terrified of it, I sort of thought my 20s were the best years of my life and 30 was the begging of the end. It was actually quite tough if I'm honest! But I was speaking to a friend in her 40s and she said she went through the exact same thing, but her 40s was the best decade yet which gave me hope.

I get told I look young often by older people, but I think I look my age (29 at a push!). I think it's sometimes a reflex when someone says an age for others to say "oh you look so young!" etc even if they don't mean it. They're hardly going to say you look haggard 😂

Tulip2478 · 20/05/2023 07:33

YANBU. Iv heard i look good for my age since I was 26! I'm now the same age as you and some people make me feel ancient! Although with two kids I probably do look older! I'm also very slim so have had hollow under eyes since being 20.
When I was in my early 20s I had best friends in their 30s and my OH is 16 years older who i met at 24. Because of this i never viewed 30s as old as much as the current young generation does.

SandLResources · 20/05/2023 07:36

On the other hand, 30 year olds look younger now than they did when I was young, as do 40, 50, 60, 70 year olds.

Throughout the ages all teenagers/20 year olds viewed anyone over 30 as ancient. At least now people born in 70s tend to look better now than they did when they were younger. Take Eileen from Coronation Street as a case in point!

Didimum · 20/05/2023 07:47

It’s rude at whatever age you say it - 30s, 40s, 80s, whatever.