Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Supermarket etiquette

161 replies

ASeriesOfTubes · 19/05/2023 23:55

You're in the vegetation section of Tescbury's, because tomatoes are on your shopping list. Someone else has them on their list too, though, and is already picking some out of the crate. Do you:
A) wait?
B) say to them "excuse me", then without waiting for a reaction reach in and start picking some for yourself, then get huffy when they suggest that keeping your mitts out until they finish picking theirs is unlikely to ruin your day?

Asking for a friend.

OP posts:
Amdecre · 20/05/2023 08:15

Yerroblemom1923 · 20/05/2023 08:06

Wait. It's polite to take turns. What would you say to your 2 year old toddler?

It's big turn taking activity. I don't inspect at all, just take a packet so just pick one up without touching the other person.

bluebeck · 20/05/2023 08:15

WhereTheSuburbsMeetUttoxeter · 20/05/2023 00:22

I'm more likely to stand and wait, loudly tutting. How long does it take?!
Sheesh.

Another enemy ticked off the list.

I didn't even want tomatoes, it's just an odd hobby to brighten the shopping experience.

I have found my people.

usernamenumber166373838 · 20/05/2023 08:17

A A A all the way. So rude to go for B!

I'm shocked by the amount of B ppl here....

OooohAhhhh · 20/05/2023 08:21

B!
But omg, when it comes to the reduced isle I have 0 manners! It's like a battle & I love it!

PickAChew · 20/05/2023 08:22

Depends on the person. Recently, we were almost taken out in the car park on the way in by a woman who was driving in an extrenely state. She parked her car, after that, halfway in a space then stopped to look at a phone. I had the misfortune of being stuck behind her in the veg section while she stood and stared at her list for what felt like an age and by the time we reached the tomatoes I very much did an excuse me and grabbed what I wanted, just to get past her.

See also couple who between them and their trolley, took up about 4m of fridge space and had a lengthy debate at the cooked meat section. He gave me a mouthful but I was oast caring.

TheKobayashiMaru · 20/05/2023 08:24

SkyandSurf · 20/05/2023 01:15

A - for maybe 20 seconds.

If they take any longer than that I'd swap to B.

I don't have all day for people to meditatively examine every tomato.

Agree. I'm polite but when I shop it is not a leisure activity. If someone is bimbling about and taking ages to do a basic task, I'll wait a bit but then dive in.

fadeddoor · 20/05/2023 08:25

Oh my god, the eggs 😂

I’m happy to wait for a few seconds but if someone is faffing about I’ll say excuse me and take what I need.

AngelinaFibres · 20/05/2023 08:30

SheilaWilcox · 20/05/2023 00:12

C - go and get something else nearby and come back because people faffing when they can see I'm also waiting may make me unreasonably resort to one of the suggestions above.

This. That way no one dies and I don't have to be arrested. Quicker in the long run.

Roundtoedshoes · 20/05/2023 08:33

Have made a note of the B’a to avoid 🤣 If a B does that whilst I am A (and I’m A+ in this scenario as I never dither knowing B’s are lurking/I don’t actually want or need to spend loads of time picking an item), I remind them to wait their turn!

So A of course. Or move on to my next item and come back later (A++).

LumpySpaceGoddess · 20/05/2023 08:47

A

Fighterofthenightman1 · 20/05/2023 08:48

I just edge more and more uncomfortably close to them the longer they take

Bunnichick · 20/05/2023 08:48

If you can't both pick them at the same time then you wait! Unless they're taking ages and you're going to be quick.

mondaytosunday · 20/05/2023 08:51

If there isn't room for two then wait. I mean if someone has already started what are you going to do, elbow them out of the way?
What I can't stand is when someone blocks a whole area with their cart, then stands there chatting to partner about what they need next! Move!

Florissant · 20/05/2023 08:51

PurplePineapple1 · 20/05/2023 00:04

Ram my trolley into their legs and take all the tomatoes while they writhe in agony on the ground. Shout you snooze you lose as I career off running over their outstretched twitching hands.

I like your style.

Curseofthenation · 20/05/2023 08:53

You sound like a tomato fondler. I would try to pick up anything else I needed nearby first but if you're still there after I've done that then you won't even get an 'excuse me'. I have to cart my toddler around the store, I don't have time to watch you get down and dirty with the fruit and veg.

LubaLuca · 20/05/2023 08:54

I'd usually ask if I could take some if the person in front is dithering or slowly caressing the goods. I guess they're not doing it to hold up people on a tighter deadline, so they're not going to mind stepping aside while I take the tomatoes they hadn't yet dug their nails into.

TheBucketWoman · 20/05/2023 09:07

C) Shop in Waitrose

AxolotlOnions · 20/05/2023 09:17

It's a public space, I'd expect them to move to one side so I could get my tomatoes too.

Original poster
ASeriesOfTubes · 20/05/2023 09:52

AxolotlOnions · 20/05/2023 09:17

It's a public space, I'd expect them to move to one side so I could get my tomatoes too.

It's a public space, I'd expect them to move to one side so I could get my tomatoes too.

If someone's already drying their hands under the only dryer, do you expect them to move aside so you can dry yours too?

OP posts:
LolaSmiles · 20/05/2023 09:56

I'm polite but when I shop it is not a leisure activity. If someone is bimbling about and taking ages to do a basic task, I'll wait a bit but then dive in
I'm with you.
Bimbling around and dithering are my pet hates when shopping. I'm not impatient, I don't expect people charging around like supermarket sweep, but have no issues saying "excuse me" to get what I need if someone else wants to take longer to ponder their choices.

kitsuneghost · 20/05/2023 10:45

ASeriesOfTubes · 20/05/2023 09:52

It's a public space, I'd expect them to move to one side so I could get my tomatoes too.

If someone's already drying their hands under the only dryer, do you expect them to move aside so you can dry yours too?

Show quote history

I go to the bathroom maybe once during a shopping trip
I pick from a veg container maybe 17 or 18.
Big difference between waiting once and waiting 17 times.

MrsSkylerWhite · 20/05/2023 10:47

Nsky62 · Yesterday 23:57
Excuse me i need tomatoes, the end”

someone once, literally, tried to take the last box of raspberries out of my husband’s hands because she “needed” them 😁

Tallcurves · 20/05/2023 11:01

@ASeriesOfTubes

its clearly A unless you are a rude person with bad manners

Sererus · 20/05/2023 11:02

The amount of poster who would still be rude but think doing it "cheerily" would ensure the other person is fine with it. 😂 Although if you're cheery, I might be cheerier than usual and give you a lovely big smile when I hold my hand up and say you should wait your turn. Bonus withering look for condescending pet names!

I don't dither though, I don't really like shopping and for various reasons like to get it done quickly, so anyone barging into my space would be doing it out of complete rudeness and the inability to wait for a matter of seconds.

Original poster
ASeriesOfTubes · 20/05/2023 11:02

@kitsuneghost You expect us to believe that every time you go shopping you have to elbow someone out of your way 17 times, in the vegetation section alone?

If you can be patient with wet hands, you can be patient when your trolley is empty of tomatoes.

OP posts: