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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel upset about my grey pubes

75 replies

lurchermummy · 19/05/2023 22:57

I was preparing for a weekend away with DH and thought I'd have a little tidy up and was so upset that my pubic hair is so grey and sparse. It really made me feel so old and undesirable. Much more than wrinkles or a saggy belly. I really felt OLD. It quite upset me. Anyone relate? What can I do - can you dye them??

OP posts:
noodlezoodle · 20/05/2023 05:08

Quick trim and tell yourself they're platinum blonde.

middleager · 20/05/2023 06:41

I feel like you OP. I'm 49 and my hair on my head is completely silver/white.

I have 50 per cent white pubes snd sparse bits. It really gets me down and I feel that it really ages my body.

I've noticed on threads like this there are always lots of jokey comments, but it's a real issue for me,

particularly as I am contemplating ending my marriage and being single, and the thought of somebody new seeing white pubes is something I think about.

My options seem to be, shave it off, but I've always had a bush and never liked the clean shaven look - plus it might make it look even sadder; dye it, and I'm thinking Revolution do those temporary hair colour depositing conditioners; or live with it. I just can't imagine meeting somebody new and me or them finding me attractive with white pubes.

wibblewobbleball · 20/05/2023 06:46

Eurodiva · 19/05/2023 23:46

I just wish that I could actually see my pubes …every cloud has a silver lining 🤷‍♀️

Same

BusterGonad · 20/05/2023 07:28

NotMeSecretFormular · 20/05/2023 01:26

So not okay that I have this to look forward to. How do PPs not know or realise? Do you become less acquainted with your fanny past a certain age? Is it like neglecting to check you've adequately included your ankles when you last made a swipe at your legs with a razor? I don't get how this is something you'd have to contort yourself to see (pregnancy aside)? Look down, it's there!

I agree, I have a bit of a tummy but I can see it just fine. Surely also people check it for changes etc? Or to check it's clean? Weird, maybe I'm weird? Who knows.

SummerLover01 · 20/05/2023 08:00

Your beaver is metamorphosising into a badger.

wildinthecountry · 20/05/2023 08:03

SummerLover01 · 20/05/2023 08:00

Your beaver is metamorphosising into a badger.

I seriously almost choked on my water there 🤣 ,that's a good one .

powerrangers · 20/05/2023 08:10

You don't have to shave it all off. Get a beard trimmer. Set it to 0.5 or 0.75 or whatever works for you and trim it so it's short but not shaved off. It's not stubbly then.

Original poster
lurchermummy · 20/05/2023 08:12

Thanks for all the comments on this thread some of which made me laugh.

It's definitely not an area I look at daily! I do attend to it in the shower but I don't really look down there - yes I do need a mirror to get round my meno belly!

I guess the answer is keep it trimmed and forget about it. I'm not vain, getting old isn't normally something I worry about too much.

It's just that seeing all those grey hairs was a bit of a shock - it was like someone saying
" hey lady, you're old now...your baby making days are over..." like a sinking in that I'm no longer young and desirable.

I have a full head of mostly grey hair and somehow that doesn't bother me!

OP posts:
Mykittensmittens · 20/05/2023 08:21

Another for trim.

i got a Remington bikini trimmer from Amazon - does the job in seconds and on the highest setting leaves several m of hair so def not bald and no regrowth and I find it so much less sweaty.

sit over the loo to trim and you can just flush after - less messy!

I have a massive bald patch right in the centre, then jet black and white, straight, long pubes now if I don’t trim. Appreciate its part of ageing, but it’s still grim, and I don’t have a grey head hair somehow (51!) which must be genetic as my Mum was/is the same.

Itcouldhappenabishop · 20/05/2023 08:25

@NotMeSecretFormular I have news for you. Everyone's bodies are different. Some of us have had a couple of c sections and the shape of our lower belly has now changed. It's harder to see pubes. Others just have differing shapes and sizes to you.
Use your imagination Hmm

declutteringmymind · 20/05/2023 08:32

Love Mother Nature.

Gives us a belly so we can't see it and eventually our near sightedness will make sure we definitely can't see it!

AuntieDolly · 20/05/2023 08:35

My friend used to say: the factory may be closed, but the amusement park is open.

EatYourVegetables · 20/05/2023 08:35

Frankly, I always thought that by the time a man gets to the undercarriage, they are too excited to worry about its colour.

Enjoy your sex life OP, and love your body. Confidence is sexy.

billysboy · 20/05/2023 08:38

you could always dye the lot grey /white

just try to accept it a welcome mat is always welcoming whatever colour !

HinnyInAPinny · 20/05/2023 08:48

Mine has been grey for a couple of years. At least I now have matching collar and cuffs.
My husband has the same, so he can't say anything.
Even my black dog is going grey round the chops.
The future is grey in this house.
Just to add, I've never dyed my hair, nor removed, trimmed or anything else. I'm just a grey yeti.

Damnspot · 20/05/2023 08:52

Trim and use L oreal magic touch root touch up spray! Don't spray directly but spray onto a brush and paint it on - I tried this and it works. I was bored, admittedly.

Alternatively I think you can buy actual pube dye and I'd be tempted to dye it pink or purple 😅

BirbFriend · 20/05/2023 08:56

AuntieDolly · 20/05/2023 08:35

My friend used to say: the factory may be closed, but the amusement park is open.

🙌

EmmaEmerald · 20/05/2023 09:04

Damnspot · 20/05/2023 08:52

Trim and use L oreal magic touch root touch up spray! Don't spray directly but spray onto a brush and paint it on - I tried this and it works. I was bored, admittedly.

Alternatively I think you can buy actual pube dye and I'd be tempted to dye it pink or purple 😅

That's going to come off in the heat of the moment though...what an idea 😂

Hedjwitch · 20/05/2023 09:07

Yup. Grey,sparse,straight.
Fortunately C section gunt hides them from my view

LunaTheCat · 20/05/2023 09:13

I have found my tribe!

JustDanceAddict · 20/05/2023 09:19

Nah, embrace the grey doen there cos I’m def not embracing it in my head!!
My beauty lady found a grey eyebrow hair to pluck out - I was disturbed at that!!

YouNeverSeeTheRealMe · 20/05/2023 09:21

MaMisled · 19/05/2023 23:12

When I was young I worked with elderly people with dementia. One particular lady, Marjorie, had the saggiest tummy and thighs. They swung as she moved. Her undercarriage is burned into my memory (I washed it many, many times), so weathered and wispy, baggy and ....well.....OLD. I am now Marjorie.

I did care work for 20- odd years, saw the same thing. Now, at 64, my nether regions are like that

MenopauseSucks · 20/05/2023 09:31

I found that the hair in my pubic region, underarms & on my head all thinned as a result of the menopause.
Going onto HRT meant that my body hair returned to full strength. As I can't be arsed to shave at the moment, I notice even my legs are pretty furry.
Sadly the hair on my head has not grown back to 100% - due to a variety of reasons, not just the menopause - but should I need a hair transplant we can always harvest my pits & pubes!

Damnspot · 20/05/2023 10:10

EmmaEmerald · 20/05/2023 09:04

That's going to come off in the heat of the moment though...what an idea 😂

Show quote history

It doesn't!

BusterGonad · 20/05/2023 12:44

SummerLover01 · 20/05/2023 08:00

Your beaver is metamorphosising into a badger.

Ha ha. I love this.

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