To be gutted my anxiety about my noisy neighbours has rocketed

[Hudhud35]

My neighbours have always been inconsiderate arseholes, and quite frankly scutters.

Originally they were loud for around 2 weeks in the day time - and the parents stopped the kids being loud if we asked (by kids i mean late teenagers and young adults, and by loud i mean unbearable music, screaming, swearing).

However last year they really sky rocketed - shortly after the introduction of a hot tub. So cue spending literally every waking (and sleeping) moment in the tub, screaming, drinking, swearing, shouting, loud music. The parents don't care anymore - they're drunk in it with them!

Come September, they quietened down, and i've been dreading it since, today seems to be the day they've restarted. I can hear them through closed windows in our bedroom - I know it's only 9pm but still - its the start of whats to come - a summer of me nearing a mental breakdown again.

We are currently locked into a mortgage, and cant afford to move anyway just yet - not until the interest rates reduce a little. Unfortunately, unlike Mumsnet, in reality I cant just fashion £10K to move and another £600 per month for the higher mortgage out of nowhere.

How do I accept the fact we are stuck here? How do I get over it? How to I stop panicking we won't sell due to having to disclose and their gross gardens? - Who would want to live by that?!

I don't want to report, as i'll have to disclose it again (i've already reported last year so don't want to do it again).

I cant put earplugs in as I need to hear my baby in the night (whose closer to them than i am so can probably hear it too).

I'm already on pretty high anxiety meds so can't up them anymore.

It sounds ridiculous, but i've just been sick from anxiety. They're not even bad yet - but i know as warmer days come, it will get worse.

If they're loud this summer, i'm worried how bad I will be the following year.

Sympathies - my sister has been driven to drink and meds to cope with the selfish critters who moved next door a year ago - before that lived a lovely quiet elderly chap - they are constantly screaming at each other and their kid!

It doesn't bother my husband - but literally I cry every time I think about coming home.
My toddler is getting old enough to notice now - I don't want it to impact their life here - or give them anxiety because of me.

I think i'll be driven to similar - my meds are already high - I was on the absolute highest a few years ago - and weaned down slowly. I felt nothing whilst on them at that level, no joy but granted no pain - and didn't want that whilst having young children - as theyre meant to be a blessing. But I think i'm going to need to come back on them.

I have no advice but this sounds awful OP. I live in a flat and I'm quite lucky with my neighbours. I am very sensitive to noise. I'm very quiet, I hardly ever have the TV ON. Previous neighbours were in a band and would play loud drums and instruments weekly until late at night and I could have cried sometimes with frustration!!

I'm also very sensitive to noise, and even more so now. A car parking outside my house makes me jump as i panic if its one of their friends.

I keep looking at houses with no neighbours, but i just cant afford it.

I'm also scared to move and move somewhere worse - at least they're not the adjoining neighbours - i dread to think how noisy they are to be attached too.

Very sympathetic. No suggestions apart from to say that I use ear plugs and i definitely think I’d hear a baby through them. I’d stay civil with the neighbours and try and keep mentioning their noise. Otherwise - any option to rent out your place, and rent somewhere else yourself?

Is the hot tub close enough to launch a ddog poo into it?? Lots of effort to clean it out should make it less desirable..

Absolute cunts. I HATE scum like this!!

They don't turn it on, yet let standing water sit in it all winter and just topped it up earlier today - i cant imagine having dog poo in it would stop them in i'm honest.

I don't think renting is an option, I don't have enough money behind me to cover the mortgage AND rent if the tenants don't pay.

Research it first as I don’t know what the recommendation is in terms of prescribed meds, but please look into Ashwagandha. Has really good research into helping with cortisol levels and anxiety. It really helped my crippling anxiety. I went from “FUCK!!!!” To “couldn’t give a fuck”. It was a godsend.

OMG surely that would lead to an infection of some sort? Stagnant water that's been there all winter?

I would install very, very bright flood lights that just so happen to illuminate the hot tub in hopes they will no longer find it appealing.

No need - they did it themselves, they also flash - and have never turned the lights off since last spring. This also annoys me - but if this was the only problem i'd let it slide.

Surely you can port your mortgage to a new property and add the fees to the sum? That wouldn’t increase the payments by too much?

I know it sounds drastic, but being so stressed you are throwing up is extreme. It really does sound like moving would be the best option for you OP.

I really sympathise. I would hate to live next door to someone like that.

I've just looked into it, it says not to be taken with beta blockers, which i'm on for anxiety. I may go to the doctors on monday and ask the question - maybe they can change my meds as they dont seem to be working anyway.

Keep a "noise diary" of every time they behave in this inconsiderate manner. You can also report them anonymously online on the police 911 non urgent system. Eventually that should flag them up as a problem and on a night when the police are having a quiet night but you arent they will hopefully send someone round to have a word.
That seemed to work with mine - for a while at least. Its maddening op and I totally share your frustration.

We can port the mortgage, i checked with our provider. However, we will desperately struggle to afford the increase in mortgage. Currently our mortgage is £600 per month for 15 years. Moving to a house in a slightly nicer area (where there isn't drug deals going on outside regularly) would require us to add another £100K to the mortgage - shooting us up to £1200 per month for more years - more so if we port and get an extra mortgage.

the extra £600 per month is just unaffordable for us.

I'm desperately trying to find a better paid job, however its a jump from officer to manager (which i dont have experience in) so struggling to get my foot in the door.

I'm thinking of buying air conditioning units and white noise machines to keep the rooms cold for the summer without needing to have all the windows open (granted we will need one for ventilation) and to mask their noises - it wont mask the noise in the daytime, but will at night so at least i can sleep ?

then try to move - even if we have to down size drastically. it would just stop us being able to have the next child we wanted.

I hear you.
Every winter I forget the hell that is my neighbours the second the sun come out. They had a Eurovision party last week, at some point they must have all passed out. We had to endure Nena's 99 red balloons on repeat until 5am.
They are twats

I completely sympathise with you. We have awful neighbours too. We are not in a position to move yet. I also dread the summer for the very same reason.

I think I’d absolutely have to shout out from the window asking them to quieten down a bit please. I’d do it every time.
You can’t educate pork but it might just make them see they’re not living on an island with no neighbours?
Alternatively, but it might back fire, create a lot of noise in an early morning? Fire up your mower or hedge trimmer?
Surely some other neighbours must be troubled too. Can a few of you knock the door and have a few words? Safety in numbers. Have yr phone camera on video just in case of hostility.
Im so sorry you are going through this.

I'm sorry you're also dealing with it - it's not something i'd wish on anyone (except my horror of neighbours - who probably wouldn't care as they're oblivious to anyone but themselves).

This is what scares me - is it better the devil you know? Or could i move to a really nice area and get lumbered with even worse neighbours.

I try to think of myself as lucky - as outside of this (and the anxiety it causes) I lead a good life, I can afford food, days out and multiple (tenting) holidays a year with the kids. If we moved to another area - we'd not be able to afford any of this, as we'd just be paying the mortgage.

It's horrific isn't it, I check the weather religiously and prey for rain every day from mid april to mid september.

If the weather is nice, I plan full days out and stop at my dads, I cant do that now my kids are older - as its almost welcoming them to be louder - as there's no one in.

Buy Bose noise cancelling headphones, they are expensive but decent.

I hate noise I truly do and over lockdown some neighbours had a few parties but it was very few really over 18 months they were however so loud it made me worry about getting neighbours that would be like that all the time.

When you say you complained was it just to the neighbours or did you inform the police or council. If there is a record you will have to declare. Unsure if it was just having a word with them.

My other neighbour tried shouting out the window last year - they screamed 'fuck off - i'll do what i like' back - then turned the music up at 3am.

I know it bothers other neighbours, but their all incredibly elderly and probably worried about complaining (or can turn their hearing aids off!) I dont know if they'd know what number the problem house is - i'm tempted to drop a note round giving them the number and asking to complain when it gets worse. but i'd worry that the council would think i'm harassing the problem neighbours and dismiss the complaints at that point.