To be gutted my anxiety about my noisy neighbours has rocketed

[Hudhud35]

My neighbours have always been inconsiderate arseholes, and quite frankly scutters.

Originally they were loud for around 2 weeks in the day time - and the parents stopped the kids being loud if we asked (by kids i mean late teenagers and young adults, and by loud i mean unbearable music, screaming, swearing).

However last year they really sky rocketed - shortly after the introduction of a hot tub. So cue spending literally every waking (and sleeping) moment in the tub, screaming, drinking, swearing, shouting, loud music. The parents don't care anymore - they're drunk in it with them!

Come September, they quietened down, and i've been dreading it since, today seems to be the day they've restarted. I can hear them through closed windows in our bedroom - I know it's only 9pm but still - its the start of whats to come - a summer of me nearing a mental breakdown again.

We are currently locked into a mortgage, and cant afford to move anyway just yet - not until the interest rates reduce a little. Unfortunately, unlike Mumsnet, in reality I cant just fashion £10K to move and another £600 per month for the higher mortgage out of nowhere.

How do I accept the fact we are stuck here? How do I get over it? How to I stop panicking we won't sell due to having to disclose and their gross gardens? - Who would want to live by that?!

I don't want to report, as i'll have to disclose it again (i've already reported last year so don't want to do it again).

I cant put earplugs in as I need to hear my baby in the night (whose closer to them than i am so can probably hear it too).

I'm already on pretty high anxiety meds so can't up them anymore.

It sounds ridiculous, but i've just been sick from anxiety. They're not even bad yet - but i know as warmer days come, it will get worse.

If they're loud this summer, i'm worried how bad I will be the following year.

I spoke to the council - however it wasn't about the music, it was about the teen arguing with a friend on the phone in the garden at 1am - they woke my child who was just out of hospital - I asked them to speak to the neighbours to and pass on the message to keep it quiet, as my headspace was elsewhere.

Multiple estate agents have told me i'd probably not need to declare since i didn't technically complain - but i would anyway. The teen has seemed to grow out of the awkward shrieking stage - so not sure if i could record it as solved. When it comes to selling i will speak to a solicitor about it - as i don't want the comeback.

Sounds horrendous. Hopefully they’ll get bored of it. We had hot tub neighbours. Year 1- mad party time. Year 2- used it, but not as much. Year 3- never used, rotting in the corner.

I say this as someone with anxiety who has also been on meds.

Have you tried CBT? You can’t always change a situation but you can change how you think about it and react to it. (Of course it’s easier said then done but getting the tools to try and do it in the first can make all the difference)

I would gently suggest that if you are at the point where you are crying every day (I’ve been there) then you need to investigate counselling even if you’ve tried it in the past. (There are a few different options so for example if you tried group therapy and it wasn’t for you you could try one to one or visa-versa)

It would basically make it easier to put things into perspective and learn different coping techniques that may help bring you down from moments of high anxiety when you’re on lower doses etc

Realistically, you might be stuck with your neighbours for a while but even if that is the case you shouldn’t have to keep feeling this way.

I really sympathise, and hope it all works out well.

You have two options here - accept it or do something about it. The current situation is clearly untenable. Pick an option and do it. You can’t keep letting it impact you like this.

Hello again,
I had a similar short lived issue just before Covid restrictions kicked in but that didn’t stop the little twerp and his mates out the back where we sleep, two doors down. He was like a bomb going off in our quiet street.

Local PCSO’s visited the nasty little runt of a dope-head a couple times. He was served with an ASBO in the end.

Landlord had to give him notice to quit because all us neighbours kicked off. In yr shoes I’d visit every local house around to see if you can get support. Noise carries far in the quiet of the night.

I also reported to council environmental health team. They wrote to him pointing out how anti social he was being.
Look up your local EA team. They were helpful to me/us.

You feel so bad because you have no control over their dreadful behaviour. Drumming up support from neighbourhood, contacting PCSO and EA might give you back some empowerment.
I really feel for you and your little one. I’ve been there and it’s so stressful.

Oh dear, we have been through this and it is horrendous. We lived in an apartment with very poor soundproofing and our neighbour was a 24 hour party person who was also plowing their way through tinder. We could hear everything, all of the time. We tried to resolve this with them but they didn't have the maturity or decency to want to compromise at all. They actually sound very similar to the OP's neighbours. We had the entire apartment insulated with some sound absorbent stuff and then fully re plastered, this did a bit of good but our anxiety levels were huge and we seemed to be even more noise aware then before. Eventually we moved out. The stress, anxiety, lack of sleep, dread about going home and so on was impacting us far too much. I know that it's not always an option to move but this is what we did. We had to.
All I can suggest is installing double glazed windows if you don't already have them, and as another poster said, a decent dog poo in the spa should make it far less attractive for them. Either way, I know that it is hard but don't let these a-holes get the better of you.

I second what @Nanananananana99 said. I had a horrible neighbour and CBT helped me a lot. It can’t change your situation but it can change your reaction. I really do sympathise, some people can be so selfish and self absorbed.

💐..for you op.
I totally empathise with you having had very similar issues.
As you are stuck there and don't want to involve the council of other agencies the only option is to try and change your mind set.
(Also read up on the laws of attraction and manifestation and begin to ask for the situation to be resolved)
It is not simple but with work,maybe a MBT therapist can help,so you are no longer concerned about the noise.
I appreciate this doesn't help with the swearing or the noise keeping baby awake but it could very well help save you some peace in your mind.
You've nothing to lose so give it a thought.🌈