To feel so much resentment towards them?

[Internationalwomendayheadquarters]

Well, towards my own parents.

They are in their 60s, and my father took early retirement at 42. Mother has never worked.

They now live a wealthy and luxurious lifestyle (indulge their hobbies in winter and on their own yacht in summer)

They haven’t deserved their wealth btw, it was all inherited. They’ve had opportunities to build a business, to invest and to make their money work sensibly but have never done that.

Meanwhile my DH and I are raising a young family with zero support. It’s tough affording childcare and there have been times when I’ve had to stop my career because childcare was prohibitively expensive. They have no help at all (not talking financial here- meant with just occasional physical help)

They do not know when my DC birthdays are, don’t care about where they go to school and take zero interest in them.

I see so many incredible grandparents helping out my friends (even juggling work etc) and my own parents who are relatively young and fit and don’t work just can’t be arsed. AIBU?

"I can understand you being disappointed with their lack of interest in their grandchildren and not being available for practical or emotional help. However, YABVU to be "annoyed" about what they do with their money. Whether they worked for it or inherited it, it is THEIR money to do what they please with. It is not up to you to police them and what they do with it - they can use it to light the fire if they want to. What gives you the right to judge whether or not they are self-centred? There are plenty of wealthy people who could, but don't, help out their parents - I've yet to see any judgement on them, it's always children judging parents."

Oh what a silly thing to say, @Aslanplustwo.

It's inherited wealth. How could anybody have any respect for somebody "lighting the fire" with their money rather than helping out their own child? And if you can't respect somebody then what chance do you have of a relationship with them? Particularly when the OP has said that it is inherited wealth that her grandparents worked hard for, and they are just frittering it away.

I know it's often the fashion for people on MN to claim nobody should ever expect any help from their parents, but these people have a YACHT. And don't work. They are obviously incredibly wealthy and frittering their money away (that they didn't work for) while their child is struggling financially with the costs of childcare.

I don't think there's many people who wouldn't feel a bit miffed in that situation.

I don't blame you at all OP and in your situation would be annoyed and resentful too. Given it is inherited wealth they have benefited from, I would consider it a moral duty to help their children out. They are enormously wealthy and are watching you struggle.

I don't have your financial issue but my mother takes very little interest in my child, her only grandchild. She will spend time with my daughter, when it's convenient for her, but takes very little interest.

Interesting that the wise and frugal grandmother chose not to leave her fortune to her grandchildren. I wonder about her reasons for that.

I completely get it. There is no way in the world I could watch my son struggle when I could make things easier for him.