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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Teacher telling 4 year old her work is *No good

114 replies

Itiswhatitisamilliontimes · 19/05/2023 19:10

We live abroad, Dh and I are British but speak the language we reside in now, I’m not great, Dh speaks fluently.
Dd is 4 and has been at Pre school since September, she speaks a small amount, but not fluently yet.
Majority of people where we are speak English also, her teacher doesn’t really (obviously don’t expect her to speak English at all)
Dd came home upset today, she said she had painted her picture wrong and painted inside a heart instead of around it, but that she didn’t know. She said her teacher said to her it was No good and moved it out of the way, she said she didn’t shout it at her but didn’t let her do another etc. I asked my Dd what she did and she said she just sat there. She then said that she also did a picture of people wrong as she painted their faces black and the teacher also moved it and said it was *No good. Dd then said she drew the boy with a striped t-shirt and that it was okay and that wasn’t wrong.
From what I can gather, having seen todays display on the wall, it was a heart with a picture of your family inside, I guess Dd wasn’t meant to paint inside the heart as the picture was meant to be there and I’m guessing her painting the faces black was wrong, because we don’t have black skin.
Dd didn’t understand what to do, I realise it’s not the teachers fault she doesn’t speak English, but is saying that her pictures are no good and moving them the correct thing to do? Am I being over sensitive in feeling sad for Dd?
Also in her reports it’s says that Dd needs a lot of extra assistance with her work and can’t do things independently (at home she’s so good, really bright, confident and independent) I asked the teacher about it and I asked wasn’t that because she doesn’t speak the language fully yet, she looked embarrassed and said yes and now always writes this on her report.
Aibu to also expect her to be shown how to do things and to have help being taught her new language?

OP posts:
coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 25/05/2023 06:22

I said 'basic language' not learn a whole language... Because that really would be bonkers. It's very easy to get a message across with basic language, signs and good old Google translate

When I was at school, we had students from Hong Kong, Romania, Malta, Germany, China, Poland, the Czech Republic, Russia and Japan.

Would you really expect teachers to use their downtime to learn how to communicate the basics in every single one of those languages? 🙄

Oh, and I don't know any nursery that would allow teachers to have their phones out so that they could access Google Translate either 🤦🏻‍♀️

liveforsummer · 25/05/2023 07:11

Currently across the 2 years stages I work in we have dc from Sudan, Bangladesh, Portugal, Poland, Romania, Russia, China and South America (off the top of my head. Probably a couple more) who speak little to no English. I'm afraid I do not have time or the ability to learn to communicate in these languages and it's actually better for the dc learning English if we do not. The Polish and Arabic speaking dc usually take longer to pick it up as there are lots of other dc speaking their language for them to play with/translate for them. We are absolutely allowed to use Google translate if needed but it's often not too reliable.

Chilledp · 25/05/2023 07:47

She probably thought no good was better than bad.
This is a language barrier issue.

OccasionalHope · 25/05/2023 08:12

She probably meant that it was not right, rather than no good.

your DD will pick up the language soon.

macrowave · 25/05/2023 08:40

The fact that you keep describing your husband as speaking "fluently" suggests you don't yet understand much about language acquisition. That word is meaningless - I've heard it used to refer to every CEFR level from B1 up.

It's good that you have friends outside of British expat immigrant circles, but you need to realise that in southern Europe we have a very different culture to you, and we often communicate more directly. Learning a language also means learning how to communicate in a cultural context. You seem to be still stuck in the phase of word-for-word translation, which means you're interpreting the teacher as being harsh or cruel. She's not - she's just communicating in a way that is perfectly normal and correct in Portugal.

What is your current level of Portuguese? Focus on improving that and you'll be able to help your daughter more easily as she navigates cultural difficulties.

catndogslife · 25/05/2023 14:48

Remaker · 20/05/2023 00:41

I’m a bit surprised by some of the responses saying the teacher is uncaring. Have you never conversed with someone who doesn’t speak English? ‘No good’ means everything from I’m not feeling well/am in pain (while pointing to the affected area), it means no that’s not what I wanted when handed something, it can mean anything! You’re expecting a non English speaker to be able to praise a child’s efforts and also explain the task. You’re also expecting another culture to adapt to your preferences.

I really don’t think a painting is a big enough issue to complain about. I would however come up with a plan on how you’re going to improve your DD’s language so she can enjoy school more.

I agree with this statement. On my travels abroad, I have heard the "no good" phrase commonly used by people who don't speak English too.
It is not the sort of statement to be taken literally or to heart.
In this context it is likely to mean "No, that's not what I wanted".

NCFThis · 25/05/2023 14:56

At that age, no one should be telling them what to draw in the art actually and there is no wrong art! Well at any age actually there is no wrong art. But definitely not for 4. It's her interpretation of the ask, isn't that what art is all about. Doesn't solve your problem but sounds a different style of teaching altogether.

mathanxiety · 25/05/2023 18:12

NCFThis · 25/05/2023 14:56

At that age, no one should be telling them what to draw in the art actually and there is no wrong art! Well at any age actually there is no wrong art. But definitely not for 4. It's her interpretation of the ask, isn't that what art is all about. Doesn't solve your problem but sounds a different style of teaching altogether.

There most definitely is 'wrong art' in Steiner schools.

Peanutlatte · 25/05/2023 18:25

Did she said no good in portuguese or English? I do say no good in my own language to my children when giving guidance, doesn't have the same connotation than in English.

Peanutlatte · 25/05/2023 18:29

I think with time your child will speak the local language and it will be easier fir her to understand teacher's instructions and I also think you are too upset because you are seeing this from your own culture. You are now living in a different culture, try to adapt as you british tell us immigrants to do.

Superdupes · 25/05/2023 18:55

OP if some of the assistants speak English is she able to check with them what to do if she's not sure?

Personally I think when you ask a class of 4 year olds to paint or draw anything you're going to end up with all sorts! I don't know why the teacher didn't just put it up on the wall anyway. No one's going to care that it's wrong, but the OP's daughter is going to be so happy that her picture is up. The teacher could even get one of the bilingual staff to label it with her. It's really lovely that she did a picture of her friend with the heart - it would be very easy to celebrate that, but I think a lot of Europe are far behind us when it comes to this sort of positive attitude and things not being 'right' or 'wrong' at 4.

Moominmammacat · 25/05/2023 19:19

It's wrong ... my 28 yr old (with PhD so he wasn't dim) still remembers being told off in reception for giving a woman unrealistic face (think Picasso) and being unable to draw a straight line. You tell her she's wonderful and the teacher is rude (which she is).

Fluffypiki · 25/05/2023 20:01

I have to say if you are in France, it is absolutely normal. Teachers are not half as nice as the English one, even the one now living in England are still very critical.
I have some friends putting their kids to french schools and I am shocked at some of the teachers comments (ex : your child has issue perhaps she should see someone). we are an angry bunch and we are taught how to be angry very early😂.
I am so glad my kids went in the English system, they would have eaten my soft (only half french) babies.

TheNefariousOrange · 26/05/2023 17:12

Blipblapblooplala · 25/05/2023 01:36

Totally disagree. It is good good practice. The onus is on both. It takes very little time to look up the basics in a language and the impact is huge on how a child settles and feel welcome... To even just say 'hello' in a child's first language can make them feel just that little bit less alone. I always think about the fact if I landed somewhere where I didn't have a clue what people were saying then the fact that someone said'hello' in my language would be a big deal... The fact that someone was making an effort to reach out rather than just leaving me to work out it myself. Especially at four years old.

That's not learning the basics though. And tbf, the OP'S DD's teacher did speak the basics, but it wasn't good enough to bridge the gap.

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