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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

The school play

45 replies

Thesemifinalcurtain · 19/05/2023 17:46

AIBU to think the best parts should not go to the children who’ve spent all year being disruptive, total pains and, quite frankly, don’t deserve them? Parts handed out today and like another thread about merits and awards, the good, quieter DC have been overlooked whilst the class clowns have their bad behaviour rewarded once again. It is so demoralizing for the middle swathe of children who never seem to get a look in.

OP posts:
Fandabedodgy · 19/05/2023 17:50

How do you know who deserves and doesn't deserve a part?

Original poster
Thesemifinalcurtain · 19/05/2023 18:16

@Fandabedodgy - helpful! Clearly I’m not psychic but everyone knows the DC who get a merit for sitting still for ten minutes vs. those who spend most of the school day waiting for the ones who mess about to calm down. It’s worrying when your DC tells you they are going to be a pain on purpose as that seems to bring rewards, extra sport opportunities, the good play parts etc.

OP posts:
eddiemairswife · 19/05/2023 18:22

For the school play you need children who can act and are able to learn their lines.

TheCrystalPalace · 19/05/2023 18:24

But I thought the common belief on MN was that it's always the children of teachers and the PTA who get the main parts?
Or are they one and the same?

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 19/05/2023 18:26

Maybe the "class clowns" are the better performers?

Maybe the kids who are disruptive in the classroom struggle with academic work and deserve their chance to shine?

You sound horribly judgemental to be honest. It's fine to be disappointed that your own dc didn't get a decent part, but no need to be nasty about those that did.

School plays seem to bring out the very worst in some parents.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 19/05/2023 18:26

TheCrystalPalace · 19/05/2023 18:24

But I thought the common belief on MN was that it's always the children of teachers and the PTA who get the main parts?
Or are they one and the same?

I was going to say the same but didn't want to perpetuate the stereotype!!Grin

KrisAkabusi · 19/05/2023 19:03

Bad behaviour and getting a part in the school play are not linked, so they are not being rewarded for their behaviour.

marmitegirl01 · 19/05/2023 19:09

I've spent the morning listening to yr 6s audition for their play. They definitely need those children who can sing and act.
Also those children who are disruptive are often so because they can't cope with the work.
Maybe creative subjects are their thing.
And yes school plays bring out the worst in parents ... but wait til sports day Wink

Darkchocolatekitkat · 19/05/2023 19:14

Thesemifinalcurtain · 19/05/2023 18:16

@Fandabedodgy - helpful! Clearly I’m not psychic but everyone knows the DC who get a merit for sitting still for ten minutes vs. those who spend most of the school day waiting for the ones who mess about to calm down. It’s worrying when your DC tells you they are going to be a pain on purpose as that seems to bring rewards, extra sport opportunities, the good play parts etc.

And some of us also recognise that for some children that sitting still quietly for ten minutes took more effort and self control than some well behaved children expend in a week.

Key parts in a class play should be based on ability to do the role (which I assume the teacher is a better judge of than you), not your subjective view of which children are “a pain”.

thespy · 19/05/2023 19:20

It would be equally unfair if the children who behaved well and got the top marks got the parts in the play as a reward. Surely the play should be cast on acting ability and nothing else. Maybe the "naughty" ones are great at performing arts even though they can't sit still during maths?

Pottedpalm · 19/05/2023 19:25

Haha! You can see which posters have children who exhibit ‘ challenging’ behaviours!
YANBU.

CurlewKate · 19/05/2023 19:25

You can't have it both ways, Mumsnet. Either all the parts/awards/treats go to the children of the PTA and the teachers' pets, or they go to the children who are mega disruptive and disturb all the others. Which is it?

Playdoughcaterpillar · 19/05/2023 19:27

ADHD has much higher rates in actors. My son has a flare for acting but was probably disruptive at times at primary school before his diagnosis. He's really good on stage. Parts should be given on merit for acting, not for academic performance. Let everyone have a chance to show they are good at something. Must be lovely to have such perfectly behaved children OP 🙄

thespy · 19/05/2023 19:27

But I sort of agree about DC who are very average at everything. It's demoralising at school if you don't ever win anything or get any recognition at all for things you are doing well at - even if someone else is better. Luckily my average or below average at practically everything DC is at a school who recognise acts of kindness and a good attitude.

BonesBrennanz · 19/05/2023 19:29

Remember they ask the children what part they would like to audition for. The quiet ones don’t tend to go for the main parts ime.

Pottedpalm · 19/05/2023 19:31

BonesBrennanz · 19/05/2023 19:29

Remember they ask the children what part they would like to audition for. The quiet ones don’t tend to go for the main parts ime.

This may not be the case at the school the OP’s child goes to,

adulthumanfemalemum · 19/05/2023 19:46

My daughter got a lead role a few times despite being one of the quiet well behaved ones (and me not being a teacher/chair of the PTA!). This is because she actually can sing well and remember lines and is confident on stage. At our school they also asked children what type of part they wanted to go for so anyone who was shy and didn't want the spotlight wouldn't go for it.

I never noticed the "naughty" children getting big parts, and behaviour in class definitely wasn't linked with parts in the play.

00100001 · 19/05/2023 19:48

What if they're the best actors and best at learning lines and are reliable though?

Should they not be given their chances to shine and do a job well?

Most kids who are trouble have troubled lives, and this might actually be something they're good at and get recognition for, which might help with all sorts of things like self esteem, motivation and reading etc.

00100001 · 19/05/2023 19:50

But isn't it the same in adult life? The noisy boisterous ones are the ones to get promoted etc

The quiet ones coming in doing their job and going home.

The louder shouters get better perks/pay/ whatever because they asked for it, bugged them selves up etc

BonesBrennanz · 19/05/2023 19:51

I agree with pp, if your child is well behaved and able to concentrate in class that should be reward enough. Those of us those children have SEN would give anything for that.

MagicSpring · 19/05/2023 19:55

Parent of one class clown and one peeved well behaved girl here, and yes, he got bigger better more flamboyant parts than she ever did. It did a lot for his battered self esteem and not a lot for hers.

00100001 · 19/05/2023 19:56

MagicSpring · 19/05/2023 19:55

Parent of one class clown and one peeved well behaved girl here, and yes, he got bigger better more flamboyant parts than she ever did. It did a lot for his battered self esteem and not a lot for hers.

Yes, but not everyone can have the lead role in life....just like we can't all win first place in the race or all get the award for best photo I'm the photography competition or all have solos at the Christmas concert etc.

MagicSpring · 19/05/2023 19:58

Indeed.

She’s probably the better actor and singer. But he was the one who needed the break. I’m torn!

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 19/05/2023 20:00

Being able to sit nicely in class does not make you more suitable for a part in a school play. Surely parts are given to those who will manage them best. Sometimes the class clowns make the best performers afterall it's what they are doing most of the time surely 😆

CaptainMyCaptain · 19/05/2023 20:06

When I was a teacher doing the Nativity play I once had the most challenging child play the Star of Bethlehem because he was visible the whole time and couldn't poke anyone. He loved it btw I wasn't being cruel. Usually parts were given to those capable of doing them.

After I retired I invigilated exams. There was a boy who was a complete pain but he had a big part in the school play and was brilliant. He obviously struggled in an exam situation but at least he could shine in a different way.