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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

There is a special place in hell reserved for people who don't use headphones?

59 replies

MarpleFan · 19/05/2023 15:20

Admittedly, I had a bad night's sleep after too many glasses of wine last night, and my journey into the office was quite painful this morning, but even when I'm not being a grumpy cow this irritates the hell out of me...

What is it with people who don't use their headphones on public transport?

One girl chatting to her friend about her boyfriend problems on loudspeaker, so we all had the joy of hearing both sides of the conversation (he sounds like a bit of a shit tbh), then someone watching videos on Instagram on loudspeaker. Why do they think it's socially acceptable to make everyone else in the carriage listen to their nonsense?

Maybe I'm just getting old, but AIBU to think "JUST BY A PAIR OF BLOODY HEADPHONES!!!!"

Rant over.

OP posts:
BlackberrySky · 19/05/2023 15:23

I fantasise about having a massive stock in my bag so I can hand a pair out to these anti social arseholes every time I encounter them. I can't afford it though!

grass321 · 19/05/2023 15:27

I am with you. It drives me insane and is so bloody selfish.

Occasionally, if the carriage is relatively empty, I pump out an 'accidental' 30 seconds of a really bad 90s song. It tends to make them sufficiently shocked to turn their sound off.

Most of the time, I just give PA looks their way. The odd time, I've asked them to turn it down if I'm feeling particularly pissed off.

PunishmentRoundupWithJoon · 19/05/2023 15:29

Yes. It's so rude and anti social. And when they let their kids play on devices without benefit of headphones so they can crack on with their own conversation without the kids bothering them. It's not just on public transport either, it frequently happens in my local cafe. It'd be great if they'd put a sign up saying "No-one wants to hear your music/conversation/cat video - please respect others and wear headphones."

EmmiJay · 19/05/2023 15:30

Stare at them on and off. I do. Did it the other week when a young lady on the bus wanted everyone to know she was talking to a man. Most boring conversation EVER, so I made it a point to turn and look at her until we locked eyes. Then I looked at her phone, and as if by magic, she took it off speaker😅

JamSandle · 19/05/2023 15:30

Would love to throw a brick at people who do this.

LightlySearedontheRealityGrill · 19/05/2023 15:30

Yes, a few years ago a couple of teenage girls were loudly playing dance music from one of their phones. It was infuriating, tinny, whiney awful sound. They coudn't have cared less about everyone else. Anyway I heard them talking about jumping the barrier as they didnt have tickets. So when they got off at my stop, I walked fast got through the barrier and then pointed them out to one of the staff. Hehe, they were being stopped as I walked out.

Fairowing · 19/05/2023 15:31

I hate it when you’re with someone socially and they start looking at Facebook and you just hear blahblahdingalingling at full volume in 30 seconds bursts because Facebook suddenly has all those short TikTok style videos on it now

Cnidarian · 19/05/2023 15:32

It is so annoying! Do you think it's happening more because pods are so much more expensive/faff than old style headphones?

MistressE · 19/05/2023 15:32

I went up to a group of teens playing music on a train and asked them to turn it off.

They did. Immediately. I was surprised but in my experience, rude people haven’t been brought up correctly and never been told. So tell them. Worst that happens is they tell you to piss off 🤷‍♀️

Plankingplanks · 19/05/2023 15:33

Recently went into a restaurant only for the table next to me to attempt to watch a to show on loudspeaker at the table. I gave them shout shrift. Waiting staff did nothing about it though!!!

EmpressaurusOfCats · 19/05/2023 15:33

I hate it too. I think the thing to do is join in or start discussing the conversation with someone else, but that’s a lot easier if there’s a few of you.

Original poster
MarpleFan · 19/05/2023 15:41

Thank god I’m not the only one! It feels like every time I get on public transport some arse is playing something. I had to sit through one child playing CandyCrush or something and the constant pinging of the game made me just get up and move carriages.

I wish I had the balls to say something, but knowing my luck I will pick the totally wrong person to say it to…

OP posts:
YoucancallmeKAREN · 19/05/2023 15:45

PunishmentRoundupWithJoon · 19/05/2023 15:29

Yes. It's so rude and anti social. And when they let their kids play on devices without benefit of headphones so they can crack on with their own conversation without the kids bothering them. It's not just on public transport either, it frequently happens in my local cafe. It'd be great if they'd put a sign up saying "No-one wants to hear your music/conversation/cat video - please respect others and wear headphones."

We spent Easter visiting friends all over the country. Every single time we went out to eat, there were children in the restaurant with tablets playing on high. Mums not taking the slightest bit of notice. Can't children eat without gawping at a screen these days ? ( i know adhd. anxiety etc etc etc)

RavenclawDiadem · 19/05/2023 15:46

YANBU. I sat next to an American 20-something in an airport departure lounge having a VERY loud conversation about her sex life and her sister's mental health.

peachicecream · 19/05/2023 15:47

I was in a major London park the other day and there was a guy with a huge amplifier blasting out hip hop music really loudly. He wasn't a performer or anything, just having a picnic with his family, this was just his choice of backing music that he was also inflicting on everyone else in the vicinity. There were hundreds of people around, families with their picnic blankets, kids and teens running around, and no one was saying anything.

Sometimes I'm just impressed by the sheer audacity to be honest, I simply couldn't imagine inflicting my music on everyone else like that.

It always seems to be pop/ dance/ hip hop/ drum n bass types of music as well. I do wonder what would happen if I started blasting out some Bach or Mozart 😂

Mushroo · 19/05/2023 15:48

BlackberrySky · 19/05/2023 15:23

I fantasise about having a massive stock in my bag so I can hand a pair out to these anti social arseholes every time I encounter them. I can't afford it though!

Same! I’d love a bag of those shitty headphones you get on tour buses to hand out.

Aside from people being knobheads, I think the fact that phones don’t have headphone jacks has not helped at all - it’s a lot more faff to make sure Bluetooth headphones are charged and connected.

AndIKnewYouMeantIt · 19/05/2023 15:49

As a pp said this is partly because Apple decided to bleed yet more money out of people by removing the headphone jack and encouraging the purchase of a faffy pair of wireless earbuds.

Original poster
MarpleFan · 19/05/2023 15:49

I did think of blasting out some Wagner a couple of weeks ago just to see what happened.

OP posts:
peachicecream · 19/05/2023 15:50

MarpleFan · 19/05/2023 15:49

I did think of blasting out some Wagner a couple of weeks ago just to see what happened.

If I was nearby I would love this so much. I'd give you a round of applause.

Thepeopleversuswork · 19/05/2023 15:51

@MistressE

They did. Immediately. I was surprised but in my experience, rude people haven’t been brought up correctly and never been told. So tell them. Worst that happens is they tell you to piss off 🤷‍♀️

I think you’re right there’s a whole generation growing up which is so constantly surrounded by digital media it doesn’t cross their minds that it’s inappropriate or inconsiderate to force it on others. I get the feeling literally no one has ever raised it.

Maybe they have young parents who themselves were digital natives. I would have been for the high jump if I had done that.

IVFGotThis05 · 19/05/2023 15:51

OMG YES!

I am seeing more and more people having phone conversations on loud speaker!!! Are they not aware that you can hold the phone to your ear!?!?! We do not need to hear both sides of the conversation... I see it in all age groups too it baffles me!

Also another thing on public transport.... the people that place their bag on the seat in busy travel times... ultimate pr*%"s !!! A lot of them don't even move when you come to sit down either. I now go and sit on that seat just so they have to move the bag! 😎

SisterWivesrus · 19/05/2023 15:53

YABU.

They're probably neurodiverse and/or anxious and can't use headphones due to whatever reason.

Nah, not really. Just anticipating the posters who will say that.

eurochick · 19/05/2023 15:54

My iPhone network is named "ffs use headphones" for this reason.

#passiveaggressive

ChickenSoupAndLokshen · 19/05/2023 15:55

I commute into London every day. EVERY journey is like this. Filled with inconsiderate arseholes of all ages who don't use headphones. It drives me nuts.

Original poster
MarpleFan · 19/05/2023 15:56

@AndIKnewYouMeantIt I do appreciate that, but I would just sit in (blissful) silence if I didn’t have my headphones on me, rather than inflicting my, quite frankly dreadful, music tastes on others. Surely they can last a 20min train journey without music.

OP posts: