Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sister has no boundaries

30 replies

Anon204 · 19/05/2023 14:12

My sister is in her late 30’s while I’m still in my early 30’s, we’re both married/engaged. When there has been the odd time her and her partner have stayed over (they live about 2 hrs away) she always has some sort of excuse to come into our bedroom, sometimes in a morning while my partner and I are still in bed to ask us a question, or if she wants to fix her hair or make up when she’ll just let herself in and use my stuff, without asking or checking if I even have whatever it is she needs. To me our bedroom is a private area for us and our kids, especially while my partner and I are still in bed, it’s not for guests to just roam in to use my stuff as they please.

AIBU to get pissed off at her disregard of our private space? While I think this behaviour is ok when we’re young and single, now I think it’s a bit weird and an invasion of privacy.

OP posts:
JamSandle · 19/05/2023 14:13

Is there anyway you can get a lock?

bluebeck · 19/05/2023 14:14

This sounds really odd. I would ask her why she does it, is she hoping to catch you at it?

That should be enough to embarrass her into stopping.

Aquamarine1029 · 19/05/2023 14:14

Have you told her your bedroom is off limits? If you haven't, she can't read your mind.

CrocsOrWarmboots · 19/05/2023 14:15

Simple. Next time she wants to stay direct her to a local hotel explaining exactly why she is not welcome overnight in your home

jackstini · 19/05/2023 14:16

It is weird - but have you told her your bedroom is off limits?
To most people it's blindingly obvious - but I don't know her!

Holly60 · 19/05/2023 14:34

Is she assuming a closeness that you don't actually feel?

Does she think 'oh but im her sister...'

Either get a lock or have a chat ..

FarmGirl78 · 19/05/2023 14:42

If for whatever reason you can't get a lock, when she's staying just kick a rubber door stop under from the inside. She won't be able to get in.

And if you're really cruel, I'd kick the door stop under with the door slightly ajar. That way she won't be expecting it, and if she tries barging it at force and smacks her head off the door, well you can just laugh away unseen when you hear the bang and the groan from the other side. 🤣

CatchYouOnTheFlippetyFlop · 19/05/2023 14:46

Have you mentioned it to her?

I wouldn't have a problem with this with my sisters. I wouldn't be worried about getting caught shagging, as if we had visitors, I'd have the self control to wait until they had gone home.

cocksstrideintheevening · 19/05/2023 14:56

You need to spell it out to her if you haven't already. If you have then yes it's very odd.

GrumpyPanda · 19/05/2023 15:01

Your OP indicates this may have been a habit formed when both of you were "young and single". You no longer like it now you're young and partnered, so open your mouth and tell her. The amount of people on MN who come on here for the sole purpose of moaning about others not being mind readers....!

bunhead1979 · 19/05/2023 15:06

It's up to you to hold that boundary. Tell her, and stand by that, or lock the door.

Rudicoolcat · 19/05/2023 15:09

FarmGirl78 · 19/05/2023 14:42

If for whatever reason you can't get a lock, when she's staying just kick a rubber door stop under from the inside. She won't be able to get in.

And if you're really cruel, I'd kick the door stop under with the door slightly ajar. That way she won't be expecting it, and if she tries barging it at force and smacks her head off the door, well you can just laugh away unseen when you hear the bang and the groan from the other side. 🤣

😆

Greenable · 19/05/2023 15:11

Did she do that when you were kids?

CovertImage · 19/05/2023 15:16

CatchYouOnTheFlippetyFlop · 19/05/2023 14:46

Have you mentioned it to her?

I wouldn't have a problem with this with my sisters. I wouldn't be worried about getting caught shagging, as if we had visitors, I'd have the self control to wait until they had gone home.

Same here. Is she aware that it's a "private area" for your wickle famiwy?

Perhaps get one of those signs that they have on MoD properties

Rosesarered222 · 19/05/2023 15:26

As someone who doesn’t have a sister am I being unreasonable to be slightly jealous that you have so one that close to you! I actually think it’s quite sweet.

Original poster
Anon204 · 19/05/2023 15:28

bluebeck · 19/05/2023 14:14

This sounds really odd. I would ask her why she does it, is she hoping to catch you at it?

That should be enough to embarrass her into stopping.

I don't think that's it and we'd never shag if there was people staying anyway 🤣 but she doesn't know if we're going to be decent and my husband often sleeps in just boxers

OP posts:
Original poster
Anon204 · 19/05/2023 15:29

Holly60 · 19/05/2023 14:34

Is she assuming a closeness that you don't actually feel?

Does she think 'oh but im her sister...'

Either get a lock or have a chat ..

When I have made a comment to her or basically told her to get out she's very much had this sort of attitude

OP posts:
Original poster
Anon204 · 19/05/2023 15:31

CatchYouOnTheFlippetyFlop · 19/05/2023 14:46

Have you mentioned it to her?

I wouldn't have a problem with this with my sisters. I wouldn't be worried about getting caught shagging, as if we had visitors, I'd have the self control to wait until they had gone home.

Yes on multiple occasions, she doesn't even knock, just shouts my name and opens the door. I agree, no shagging when there's people staying especially when the rooms (and beds) are separated by a thin wall 🤣

OP posts:
MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 19/05/2023 15:35

Door stop or lock. And frankly, it doesn't matter if other posters are OK with it or think it's funny to sneer about your 'wickle famiwy'; you don't want her in your room because it's YOUR room.

OhMerseyMe · 19/05/2023 15:40

Lock your doir

OhMerseyMe · 19/05/2023 15:40

*door

LookItsMeAgain · 19/05/2023 15:45

CrocsOrWarmboots · 19/05/2023 14:15

Simple. Next time she wants to stay direct her to a local hotel explaining exactly why she is not welcome overnight in your home

Exactly this.

SprinklesMcDoodles · 19/05/2023 15:47

There’s no need to be rude and condescending. Some people like their private space and there nothing wrong with that.

Percypiglover · 19/05/2023 15:59

I would go the complete opposite and have lots of sex whilst she was staying as hopefully that would put her off just walking in!!!

diddl · 19/05/2023 16:06

To me it's lack of respect.

Just wanders in, doesn't care if that will disturb you or not.

Feels entitled to just help herself to your stuff without asking.