To tell you the school does not decide when your child can walk home alone

[Itisuptoyou]

I keep seeing this on threads and I don’t want to derail what the thread is about.

But the school cannot decide this. You do as parent. It may be you are broadly in agreement with the school and I am but this is your choice and not the schools.

It irrationally annoys me when people claim ‘the schools don’t allow …’ Not up to the school!

Where I live (non-Uk, European country) it seems that it's the exact opposite to the UK! Seems to be one extreme to the other.

Children walk themselves to and from school alone from the age of 4, latest 5 years old. In fact, the teachers and school encourage this in order that the children socialise and become independent. Children attend the school that's closest to them (there's no choice), parents are encouraged not to drive to school and this is frowned upon by other parents.
Police come into school at the start of the year and help train the children to walk their routes safely and how to navigate crossings etc. Children also cycle and get bus passes if necessary.

The children wear brightly coloured bands over their clothes (different colours for Kindergarten and class one) and it also seems to be the responsibility of all drivers and the community to help keep them safe. At the start of the year there are notices for drivers to slow down and there are frequent speed traps around schools.

Despite all these measures, for me, a child walking to school alone at 4 years old is too early. My child was the odd one out as I accompanied her for the first few years. However, by 6 or 6 1/2 years she was walking to and from school alone, also for lunchtime so 4 journeys a day - a journey of 800 m and crossing two roads. I also agree with a PP who said it's a parental, and not a school, decision.

To be fair, we live in a less busy and safer country with reliable public transport. As teens now, both my children are incredibly independent in comparison to their UK counterparts.

The primary my children are at they encourage them to meet a parent away from the school (there's a park and library nearby) or walk home from 6/7, from 8 they dismiss assuming they'll walk home as parents aren't allowed on that campus at all, it also has a back and front entrance so they pick where they exit.

I had thought all schools would be encouraging independence. At age 5 they need to see a parent to dismiss but in our case I wouldn't have argued they were ready to walk alone. Guess it should be up to the parent though, they know their child best.

Using words like “false imprisonment” just makes you sound like one of those hysterical lunes which gather on social media hysterically shouting about things they don’t agree with.

Like the people who stated they just didn’t have to pay their energy bills and it was illegal to make them do so and so on.

If you don’t want to be that parent then don’t act like one. Parents who throw around that kind of hysterical language just look like twats really.

I believe in the school my children go to, anything under the year group 6 needs to be agreed with the parent in writing. I also get the impression that small children walking to school alone might be out of the schools hands however it would probably be noted down as a pastoral concern that could build a negative pattern of parental behaviour if other issues were flagged.

I thought about this a lot this week (lame but true).

My cousin and I have children at the same school. I couldn’t drive for a long time due to my illness. I used to get several buses, walk a long way etc to get them in on time. The walk home is down several busy London roads including crossing a dual carriageway. She isn’t far from me home wise.

I saw on Monday her eldest (same age as my son, 12) walking his 3 younger siblings down a main road (the smallest one is younger than my youngest). I was shocked because the school my eldest walking them home as an option and they knew how hard our journey was. Not that I’d have even considered it because of the journey.

I feel like it was a little test of us both tbh to see what our standards are, as cousin does have SS involvement

Er no they don't apply rules in context of national guidance otherwise there won't be so much variance in rules. There is no national guidance.

We are definitely more casual about this is Scotland and as for not letting Secondary Schools pupils off the premises during school hours that is unheard of up here.

School do have a duty to safeguard children- therefore it’s quite reasonable for them not to allow yr R- 5 children to walk home alone - they’re too young for this to be safe.

Im totally behind them only letting yr 6 do this, and not releasing younger children other than to an adult. Or if they said “11th birthday” if someone raised the point that an august born is still v young at the start of yr 6.

Saying “false imprisonment” is ludicrous. By that token children are falsely imprisoned their whole lives until they can go out alone.

OP thank you for reminding everyone that schools do not get to decide how we parent our DC. We often forget this very basic principle.

When my youngest was 9 they wouldn’t let her 16yo brother pick her up even with my permission, it had to be someone 18 or over.

It is all a load of socialist bullshit, yes. Equally, safeguarding is important.

False imprisonment, good grief. Schools need to have some authority over children in order to function. I wish parents would stop feeling the need to fight against them all the time.

YES! Let’s fight the safeguarding of our children!! I want to die on this hill!!

Yes, I told them I'm happy for my 5 year old to walk home 3 miles and so they let her.

Not, obviously. Ffs.

DD2's school allows kids to walk home from Year 5 spring term onwards so I guess it depends on the school. I understand the school will kick up a fuss but if you're adamant about it, then the school will probably let your DC walk home alone.

I let DD walk about 10 minutes or so from the school gates to the car park. It encourages independence (especially as she'll be going on a train and walking to school and back come September) and it lets her have some social time with her friends that isn't on the iPad/phones/in school.

Safeguarding my arse. My DC are more likely to be physically hurt inside their school by the rampant bullying that continues to be ignored by the school , than by a stranger they may encounter on the walk home . They can also be knocked over by a car just as easily at 11 years old as they can at 10 so that’s not a reason to stop them from walking home .

I can see the school gate and lollipop lady from my living room window and yet the school still made a fuss about allowing dc to walk home alone! They wanted me to bring my severely autistic child with me to collect dc 1 when she was in year 5.............
I stood my ground and dc was allowed to leave alone! Her teacher made a big thing of her walking home alone. We live 4 doors from the school FFS

Equally, we should remember that we should not, as a society, be requiring schools to take on the parenting role. Society now expects and requires schools to take on toilet training, teaching children to dress themselves, basic rules of conversation and behaviour, how to use a knife and fork etc etc etc - things that used to fall firmly within the parenting role except in very exceptional cases.

Completely agree. We need to step up a bit more as parents.

I walked to and from school with my brother when I was 4 and he was 5 - just under a mile. There was less traffic and two lollypop ladies en route though. My children’s primary now release P1s when they see a parent (or other adult if play date etc) after that they just run out of the school. Lots of children walk alone from P3 and pretty much all do from P5.

Are you hard of understanding?

exactly, or tied the dog to a railing. She could SEE the dog too, presumably

On Mumsnet, everyone is afraid of confrontation and "the authorities" - even if that "authority figure" is the trolley collector at ASDA. They seem to fall over themselves to comply with all and every demand made of them - rather than ask where that person's authority comes from, whether it is legal or moral or whether they have any ability to actually impose it.

I ignore a lot of things I don't agree with and nothing bad has yet to happen. Sure, I've exchanged a few words with some people over the years, but that's no big deal.

Are you serious? You really think that children are open to more danger walking home alone before they are mentally and emotionally ready than they are in school? Your point about being hit by a car is also off the mark. That is not the only danger that children face. They need to be emotionally and intellectually mature enough to understand what actions to take if they are faced with danager.... Very ignorant to state 'safeguarding my arse'. You really think that safeguarding is not applied? Maybe you need to educate yourself.

At the school where I worked the Head and I both wanted to prevent a Yr 5 with mild SEN taking the Reception sibling home on his own

What has a mild SEN got to do with someone’s ability to walk a younger sibling home?