To tell you the school does not decide when your child can walk home alone

[Itisuptoyou]

I keep seeing this on threads and I don’t want to derail what the thread is about.

But the school cannot decide this. You do as parent. It may be you are broadly in agreement with the school and I am but this is your choice and not the schools.

It irrationally annoys me when people claim ‘the schools don’t allow …’ Not up to the school!

@Itisuptoyou oh I've no issue with the principle of your OP, nor with kids walking home if that's suitable for them (didn't do me any harm, etc etc), but the hyperbole from some posters is really enjoyable in a can't-look-away, "oh, mate... 😬🤦🏻‍♀️" way 😁

This thread is batshit crazy! I am no fan of school rules but I can see the rationale behind this one.

My kids went to a 'nice' middle class primary in a 'nice' but extremely busy area. School set in a cul de sac, circa 700 pupils. Children were actually knocked down on a couple of occasions that I recall. DP and I weren't home as we were at work, but I wouldn't have allowed any of mine to walk before the age of 11. We had a childminder collect them. We live a couple of miles from school and there are some very busy roads to cross.

I would do exactly the same if I had my time again. Trust me, it hasn't held my children back. They made their own way home from school when they went to post-primary. They've travelled lots, including solo, including 3 weeks in China, living in France for a bit, living away from home for uni etc.

I'm sure the teachers would love to turf out your little darlings the minute the bell goes but they have a duty of care. Maybe if parents spent less time fighting with their children's schools over silly issues, they'd have more time to you know, actually teach!!

It really isn’t batshit crazy!

I have no issue with school rules but the point is school rules are only enforceable during school time. A school can have a uniform, they cannot insist your child wears it out of school. A school can ban mobile phones, but if you give your child one, that’s your call.

Exactly! (Although no one mentioned an age ??) @YouWonJayne common sense would absolutely be a factor when considering age, in primary the age range and ability varies if you wasn’t aware.

When you send a child to a school you agree to their policies. This sort of antagonistic behaviour is pathetic.

School “rules” can change.

DS walked home from Y3. School policy was that parents informed them if the child was to be collected, be on school transport, or leave, just so they knew.

The year he started high school the new HT gave a weeks notice that he was changing it and wanted only those in the last term of primary walking home.
His experience was a busy city school with lots of roads and kids who had quite a distance to go. That school was small village school, two lollipop ladies on the only remotely busy road, and the walking kids were all very local to the school.

Obviously people whose children had been walking home for months/years objected to an absolutely unnecessary change.

He backed down on that (and various other daft things he brought in just to make a mark) pretty sharpish.

Are you just determined to be difficult?

Knock yourself out, give your kid a phone - but don't be surprised if it gets confiscated during the school day!

I pity the teachers who have to deal with you!

Totally depends on the age of the child. So what age are you talking about?

@adriftinadenofvipers , I am not being difficult at all - to be honest, I’ve been perfectly polite. The one being surly and rude is you!

In any case, you don’t need to pity the teachers. I don’t have school aged children and I AM a teacher!

@Itisuptoyou the false equivalences, spite and frothing from some quarters on here are batshit!

I think some people genuinely believe I am advocating sending four year olds home alone and I’m not, it really was intended to be informative rather than a discussion based thread. So they think I am trying to cause trouble which couldn’t be further than the truth.

I do think it is just worth knowing, though. So to give my example of the friend with the dog, going back a few years but I think what happened was that she worked overlapping shifts with her DH, so the dog was only ever alone for the recommended No of hours. She could get home, walk the dog to school and pick up her DD, go the long way home, happy, exercised dog, or the alternative was to go home, have an overjoyed dog then upset when she went out again in the car and it is a funny place where school traffic takes longer to navigate than walking.

So made sense for everyone but there was a refusal to let the child leave even though said child was pointing at her mum and waving.

Yes the dog could have been left home but the point was, it was a good solution that worked and no child was at risk! To blindly accept rules isn’t always wise. I definitely don’t think we should fight then for the sake of fighting but it’s also fine to sometimes say hey hang on - that’s silly. It’s the parents’ judgement call, not that of the school.

I just find binary 'debates' - where people back themselves into ridiculous corners to the extent they come out with batshittery like the things I've quoted upthread rather than consider that life isn't black & white, or that it's not actually terrible to change one's mind - entertaining. I bloody love the internet. God bless Tim Berners-Lee!

The op's point may be true but I agree with my son's school policy and have absolutely no desire to challenge it. He will be allowed to walk home alone in year 6.

I had the same re cycling. DD wanted to cycle to school (and I wanted her to too), but school "wouldn't allow it" until she'd passed her cycling proficiency test. I asked if they would turn her away and not allow her to attend school if she turned up on her bike, they reluctantly said no.

Honestly, it's no wonder we have an obesity problem in young children.

I'm a teacher and our children can only walk home if they have written permission, I teach year 4 and I hate that a couple of my kids are allowed to walk home alone. Lots of year 5 and 6 walk home which I feel is OK as getting ready for high school.

If I just let any child wander off on there own and something happened I would be devastated and in the reverse if I just let your child go off and something happened we would never be forgiven.

I've been neither surly nor rude.

If you actually are a teacher, I'm shocked you would seek to challenge this. I'd have thought you and your colleagues would have better things to do than figure out who's allowed to walk home and who isn't.

@adriftinadenofvipers it isn’t about challenging it for the sake of challenging it. It’s simply about knowledge, which is as they say, power.

Most people are happy to go along with most things most of the time and indeed I am, but I do think wording is important. Quite a lot of posters genuinely believe that this is the schools decision to make and it is not. Ultimately, it is up to the parent(s) how the child travels to and from school. If the school has reasonable grounds for believing that the child will be unsafe then there are procedures that can be followed but these aren’t ongoing. In other words, if the school choose to involve social services and it is concluded the child is not at risk the school aren’t then in a position to refuse to allow the child to leave every day until SS have OKd it.

As for not being churlish or rude

Are you just determined to be difficult? Knock yourself out, give your kid a phone - but don't be surprised if it gets confiscated during the school day. I pity the teachers who have to deal with you

What a load of utter bollocks. Yes, of course it fucking is up to the school as they are responsible for your child's safety until they hand them over to your care. Just do what other parents have been doing for years and make proper arrangements for your child to be collected, instead of winding yourself up on a ridiculous crusade against a perfectly reasonable school rule

are two of your posts from this thread. I get you feel strongly about this but they are very aggressive posts, littered with swearing and assumptions that I am demanding things for the sake of it. It’s admirable that you want to support teachers, so do I. It isn’t about challenging things for the sake of it, it’s just about knowing where we stand as parents. If someone says - well, I live two doors down but actually it’s no big deal to me getting my Year 4 aged child so I’ll roll with it - fine. That’s a choice. If someone says I live two doors down but I’ll have to continue with collection of my child because that’s what the school rules say then that isn’t a choice and we have the right to exercise that choice.

As with many things, knowledge is power. This thread is purely about sharing that knowledge. It is not about what I believe to be personally right or wrong: there are many things I abhor which are legal and will remain legal and rightly so.

When my children start school, they will be taken by me by car and collected by me by car at the end of the day. I don’t have a personal dog in this race

The school isn't forcing a 10 year old that isn't ready to walk home. That would of course be ridiculous. But turning the scenario around doesn't "prove" you right. It's nonsensical.

And - again - you can keep repeating I don't "understand" but I do. I just disagree with you.

So you understand that it is not for the school to decide, but the parent?

I know you don’t agree with it, but that is the correct information.

You assumed that the parent is going to go home and use. In this case the child would have been going home to an empty house, which would have stayed empty until her Parents returned from the Mother brassing it. The parent showing up to school meant that the school could see what state the parent in. You as a ex SW should know the crucial role schools play in safeguarding. It's someone who sees both parent and child everyday. Most people now realise because of all the child abuse cases, which have resulted in deaths that happened solely because of lockdown. Also as a ex SW you know that cases are judged individually, as I said I got permission for my primary aged child to be allowed to go alone. You know that if anything had have happened to your child the first question would have been why was he traveling alone. You wasn't in Haringey, was you? That would explain why you'd send your ND ten year old out to learn by his mistakes.

When my DCs were younger you had to register them as an independent traveller in year 6 (so 10-11) if you weren’t taking them to school. I expect this was for safeguarding as if they didn’t turn up they would know you hadn’t dropped them
off. I used to let them do the last 5 mins or so on their own as it was past the last busy road. I think that’s fair enough.
Year 3 and beyond they were released from the classroom in a normal manner / parents waited in playground or older kids walked home themselves (when my youngest was that aged we’d moved so he could safely walk home alone if he wanted to - we’d agree in it the morning). I’m infants children released when the teacher saw the parent or you’d write/phone if they were being collected by another parent/person ie, grandparent.
Schools need a duty of care, but it needs to be sensible too.

When dd was at primary school ( she left in September) i was stunned at the number of parents of year 6s who still picked up /walked their children to school. Schools should be encouraging parents to let their kids be a it more independent. Instead they make it difficult then promptly moan about all the inconsiderate parking.

You cant have it both ways.

Ime its not just the schools that are difficult though. Parents need to let go a bit. Perhaps of they'd actually walked by themselves once in a while you'd not be worrying they won't be able to get to high school in year 7.

Even secondary schools have the parking issues and when you look at the admissions information and no ones outside 1.3 miles got in then in theory there's no one there that shouldn't actually be able to walk.

I think its all become a vicious circle. The roads get dangerously, clogged and kids aren't safe walking so parents akd schools don't allow it , cue lots more cars and lots more dangerously and kids incapable of walking as they've never been allowed to do it. Round and round it goes

Nope. If the rules are stupid it's reasonable to challenge them.

I'm not a fan of blind obedience and I don't encourage it in my children.

Dd ( yr 7) had a medical appointment a few weeks back. School wouldn't let her leave even though id emailed to give permission. She cycles and i cant get the bike in the car so she had ti have the whole day off in the end as I didnt have time with work to pick her up amd drop her back off. Then they moan about attendance. Make your bloody mind up.

If you give your child a phone and the school has a no phones rule. They can confiscate it and ask you to collect it.