Why aren't parents correcting their DC?

[Meili04]

I just saw the DM article about an 11 year old boy being tasered for brandishing a knife over a tantrum in burger king. The mum said they were too harsh. I've seen this in my DDs school their child is a little angel and can do no wrong. If my child is mean to another child I correct the behaviour , if they rude I do the same.
My DC is a human being with faults and isn't perfect 100 percent of the time, no person is.

Why can some parents see no fault in their child? Our responsibility as parents is to bring up DC to be functioning adults who thrive. Treating DC as mini deities does them no favours. I think parenting is becoming too gentle. AIBU?

He was an aggressive 11 year old with a knife. If not the police, he was a threat to the public.

He was, in a childish and ineffective way, trying to deescalate the situation himself.

He was trying to leave (with his knife) and counting on the fact that the police were essentially powerless to prevent him leaving. If they had let him go, still waving the knife they had been called to deal with and which he refused to drop, they would have been held responsible for his subsequent actions with that knife.

I am appalled. And his thought thought was not to get a knife, it was to run away.

You can also see in the video quite clearly in that video that he was trying to get away from the police who he was frightened off. They were the ones cornering him, and pointing a gun at him. He was using that knife as the only defensive move he had and trying to get away.

I’ve explained quite clearly what I think the police should have done. They should have recognized he was a frightened and distressed child. They should not have got out a gun, they should have lowered themselves to his level and talked him down. That’s what he needed for the situation to be brought under control.

Absolutely. This is literally the job of the police!

Well they're all sorts of parents about, aren't there? Some are shit.

I have no idea if the mum in question is a shit parent, but surely you know that bad parenting is not uncommon in society.

This.

The made up bollocks people are inventing to justify the police, and their own seeming personal hatred of this child, is disturbing, but also shows how weak their case actually is.

We have the child threatening the police and brandishing a knife, when the only evidence we have is of a child who sounds frightened and distressed trying to back away from five adult men approaching him, one of whom is aiming a gun at him as he advances.

We have spurious comparisons to full grown attacks attacking other full grown adults with cutlery knives, neatly avoiding the fact that this is an eleven year old child, who, even if he could get himself in a position to attack a fully trained police officer backed up by four colleagues (unlikely) does not have an adults strength to attack with.

We have attacks on the Mother when we know nothing about her. I know enough to know even the best parents can have children who behave like this, when their children have serious problems of trauma or disability or divergence. It really isn’t always due to ‘lax’ parenting. And some posters on this thread but be better to think ‘ there but for the grace of God go I’.

We have statements he’ll go off to stab others where all we can see is a frightened child seeking to protect himself from a man with a gun, he’s trying to get away.

We have labels like ‘child thug’ when all we can see is a frightened child trying to get away from a man with a gun. though if you want to turn this child into a thug, this episode was a good way to go about it. Contrary to what posters here seem to think, brutalizing people, brutalizing children doesn’t de-brutalize them. It does the opposite.

we have posters ignoring the fact tasers can be deadly, even on adults.

And as I said before, if a grown adult woman can be applauded on here for refusing to get out of her car when police asked her too as the police are too dangerous, then it follows a 11 year old being advanced upon by a police officer pointing a gun at him can reasonably be expected to think it’s not safe for him to put his only defense down when the police tell him too. If we think police are too scary for women to obey, police with pointing guns at them are certainly too scary for 11 year old children.

My child has broken my finger, bitten me so often that at one point my right arm was more bruise than not, kicked me in the head. My husband and I have had to hold him down to get his shoes off him because it's bad enough being kicked when he he has bare feet, and we've had to get a knife off him, as well as random objects he was going to use as weapons. We've had no training in handling this.

I have never, ever, punched him in the face.

He was filming it all for tiktok , well he wasn't that frightened or developmentally delayed then

And if he had a phone then why was the mum worried that he'd ran off and wouldn't be able to get back . He could have rang her surely

Posters on this thread would have something totally different to say if he'd been waving his knife around at their child instead of the police

I think the whole story doesn’t add up. I suspect mummy is thinking compo.

You need to be asking SS community services for mva and breakaway training. There's a new thing called safety pods which sounds like it might be beneficial for your child. It's like a huge beanbag and feels so much nicer than the floor. Its dignified and safer. Often they self soothe and choose to stay on the bag to relax after an incident. We are seeing huge improvements using this.

https://ukpodsltd.co.uk/case-study/helping-create-a-safe-environment/

Of course it has a lasting effect for the child. We understand quite a lot about the impact of trauma on children's brains.

they should have lowered themselves to his level and talked him down

Yes of course they should have and tough shit if that didn't work and he decided to tab them in the face. I suppose it's easy to be brave when it's not your life you're gambling with.

The thing is the right for the public not to potentially die or be seriously injured trumps a child's potential trauma. The police aren't cannon fodder.

Remarkable that people think the police's conduct in this situation was some sort of exception or deviation from their normal conduct. But alas, tis a very different life for most.

From the chain of events, it seems like the child in question is used to doing whatever he wants and has no respect for his mum's/ parent's authority.

At his age If I had had a strop, all it would take would be my mother saying 'Stop it NOW' and i would have stopped immediately because I knew she meant business. i wouldn't have dared keep going, much less grab a knife and have a standoff with the police!

Obviously not the case here- his mum presumably told him to pack it in but based on years of poor boundaries and inadequate parenting he didn't listen and went out of control.

Beyond that, I don't know what to say.

As the daughter of a past Police office and the aunt of a current one, I could not agree with you more. Thank You for all you do!

@LakeTiticaca 👏👏👏

I have been sexually assaulted by a 12 year old when arresting him for stealing a car and driving it dangerously knocking over and causing the death of an elderly lady. Damn right I punched him in the face and anywhere else I could have.

What is the profile of a spoilt or off the rails kid?

No doubt to be spent on his ‘needs’ of Prime drinks, trainers and video games.

Oh I think more feral little thugs should be tasered. Might stop them. No great loss either way is it? They don't tend to be massive contributors to their society and community. The mum's compo face is HILARIOUS.

I a child is not old enough to be legally responsible-as in this case-then the person legally responsible-his mother in this case-should be in the dock on his behalf.

It seems we have a class of people-like this little fucker-who don't have to face legal responsibility. That can't be allowed. Someone has to be responsible and clearly that should be the parent.

A few more of these useless fuckers in the dock, having to take responsibility for the crimes of their useless off spring-is the way to go,

You are part of the problem.

Get a grip on him otherwise he is going out into society and do this to someone else when he is a man.

Or do you think it is all going to magically stop when he is 18.

We're waiting for assessment for ASD. We've had a Social Services assessment for support, we're in touch with multiple agencies and on multiple waiting lists. I have spent countless hours phoning so many agencies and organizations. The problem is the lack of help and support for people in our situation.