Page 10 | Why aren't parents correcting their DC?

Meili04 · 2023-05-18T11:46:24+00:00

I just saw the DM article about an 11 year old boy being tasered for brandishing a knife over a tantrum in burger king. The mum said they were too harsh. I've seen this in my DDs school their child is a little angel and can do no wrong. If my child is mean to another child I correct the behaviour , if they rude I do the same. My DC is a human being with faults and isn't perfect 100 percent of the time, no person is. Why can some parents see no fault in their child? Our responsibility as parents is to bring up DC to be functioning adults who thrive. Treating DC as mini deities does them no favours. I think parenting is becoming too gentle. AIBU?

Gtsr443 · 18/05/2023 17:09

poetryandwine · 18/05/2023 16:59

Surely no one publicises that their child has a serious intellectual disability if they do not?

Exactly.
Particularly when she has lawyers involved and it's gone to Police investigation.
Jesus wept, GDD is not something people casually fabricate.

Nicknacky · 18/05/2023 17:10

Gtsr443 · 18/05/2023 17:09

Exactly.
Particularly when she has lawyers involved and it's gone to Police investigation.
Jesus wept, GDD is not something people casually fabricate.

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Discharge it taser automatically gets referred to PIRC. It’s not an indication at all that the officers actions weren’t justified or something is amiss.

And what “serious intellectual disability” does he suffer from?

Nicknacky · 18/05/2023 17:10

“Discharge of taser”, not “it”

Gtsr443 · 18/05/2023 17:11

Global Developmental Delay

Liorae · 18/05/2023 17:13

But it is disturbing that a young boy in this situation knew to film the episode for TIk Tok, where he is ripe for exploitation.
Rather like mummy running to the Daily Mail. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

liveforsummer · 18/05/2023 17:15

I actually fail to see what else they could do here. He was attempting to flee whilst angry and agitated with a weapon and threatening them if they attempted to approach. Imagine he'd got away, still angry, with that knife and stopped one or multiple people or done so to the police who attempted to restrain. He had time to drop it (although could have had another) they didn't just rush in and taser him with no warning

MightyEagle · 18/05/2023 17:27

liveforsummer · 18/05/2023 17:15

I actually fail to see what else they could do here. He was attempting to flee whilst angry and agitated with a weapon and threatening them if they attempted to approach. Imagine he'd got away, still angry, with that knife and stopped one or multiple people or done so to the police who attempted to restrain. He had time to drop it (although could have had another) they didn't just rush in and taser him with no warning

It's not a crowded kids' playground in the middle of the day. It's a deserted carpark! If he ran, they could follow him....

I can't see any immediate risk to life in this situation (well, except the risk to the life of the kid who's been shot with a firearm). Risk of police officers being properly pissed off, yes.

Gtsr443 · 18/05/2023 17:29

liveforsummer · 18/05/2023 17:15

I actually fail to see what else they could do here. He was attempting to flee whilst angry and agitated with a weapon and threatening them if they attempted to approach. Imagine he'd got away, still angry, with that knife and stopped one or multiple people or done so to the police who attempted to restrain. He had time to drop it (although could have had another) they didn't just rush in and taser him with no warning

There were 5 large fully trained coppers in stab vests with extendable batons and PAVA spray but discharging the taser at an 11 year old with an intellectual disability in an empty space was their only option was it?

Stompythedinosaur · 18/05/2023 17:37

TheYearOfSmallThings · 18/05/2023 16:59

Well I watched that clip and if ever a child was asking to be tasered, it was him.

I'm glad they didn't let him skip off into the night with his knife, because he would have learned from that that the police are ineffectual and he can get away with whatever he wants.

The police are not meant to dish out punishments. That isn't their role.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 18/05/2023 17:37

So many people apologising for the brat. Have you even watched the video? he was asked numerous times to put it down and all he was responding was 'why should I' and Im putting this on TikTok. Even if he is ND that is not a get out of jail free card for waving a knife about!

8counts · 18/05/2023 17:37

I watched the video. I think the police should have given him the warning they were going to use it, as in 'if you don't drop this now, on the count of three we will have to use it' and stood still instead of continuing to back him into a corner, there wasn't anyone close enough to be at risk from getting hurt.

And no, I'd think his behaviour was ok and the one good thing that might come out of this is that support services will get involved.

He was swearing that them and backing away, not running towards them. I think it could have been handled better although I will admit, I can't imagine any of my children ever behaving like that so I'm just an outsider looking in. I don't think anyone would like hearing their child scream after being tasered.

Howdoidoit100 · 18/05/2023 17:47

I support the police on this. They need to come down hard. If he can't be controlled at 11, how will he be in a few years?!

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 18/05/2023 17:48

Namechangeforsure · 18/05/2023 13:42

Name changed for this as could be outing. I have a neurodivergent child who is currently undiagnosed due to waiting lists and is being unsupported as undiagnosed. His behaviour can be very extreme, and I have had to take a knife off him in the past, as he was threatening me with it. I am doing my best to get him the support he needs and to try and reduce his violent behaviour. I absolutely would support the police if they needed to intervene because his behaviour was dangerous in public. But if they tasered him I would be absolutely furious. Tasers can sometimes kill a grown adult if they have an undiagnosed health condition or the charge used is too much for their body weight. They are not tested on children and they could kill them. An 11 year old is still a child. Like with my child, the response needs to be proportionate and there are safe ways to deescalate a situation without tasering a child with a potentially deadly shock. I imagine this is a child with a lot of needs that are not being met, he may be neurodivergent or neurotypical, going through or been through trauma, regardless, this is a human being who needs help. Yes of course the public needs to be safe too, but this is not safe or proportionate to taser an 11 year old. And definitely not the same thing as thinking they should 'get away with everything'

All of this. I'm in a similar situation - and parents don't have Tasers, we just have to deal with it.

Police, presumably in stab vests, should be able to get a butter knife off a child.

LeonardBobby · 18/05/2023 17:54

Gtsr443 · 18/05/2023 17:29

There were 5 large fully trained coppers in stab vests with extendable batons and PAVA spray but discharging the taser at an 11 year old with an intellectual disability in an empty space was their only option was it?

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Batons would be far more likely to cause injury than taser. I'd certainly rather be tasered than thumped with a metal stick.

As for the stab vests, as someone else pointed out upthread, they only protect part of the body. They wouldn't stop an officer getting stabbed in the neck or femoral artery for instance. This officer was wearing a stab vest, but still ended up with some awful injuries
https://www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/pc-stuart-outten-footage-machete-attack-a4342881.html

Terrifying moment police officer was brutally attacked with machete

This is the terrifying moment a heroic police officer was brutally attacked with a machete in east London.

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/pc-stuart-outten-footage-machete-attack-a4342881.html

HeartBrokenWife · 18/05/2023 17:58

Re the butter knife - was the child anticipating much spreading of butter in his immediate future do we think? Seems an odd implement with which to accessorise his outfit if not 🤷🏻‍♀️

ChateauxNeufDePoop · 18/05/2023 17:59

Gtsr443 · 18/05/2023 13:43

Oh I take it back there are actually FIVE bloody coppers standing there in their stab vests. And they seriously couldn't disarm a little kid without 50,000 volts?

People don't realise how often tasers are routinely used on children now and on under 11s. There is no upper or lower age limit for their use.

18 people have been killed by taser use in this country.

They shouldn't be expected to get physical with anyone with a weapon though.

Crumpleton · 18/05/2023 18:02

Howdoidoit100 · 18/05/2023 17:47

I support the police on this. They need to come down hard. If he can't be controlled at 11, how will he be in a few years?!

This is unfortunately what is needed, year on year the age of people doing criminal acts seems to be getting younger and the hideous reasons given for these acts is even worse.

Life seems to be so cheap in some people's eyes today.

8counts · 18/05/2023 18:05

LeonardBobby · 18/05/2023 17:54

Batons would be far more likely to cause injury than taser. I'd certainly rather be tasered than thumped with a metal stick.

As for the stab vests, as someone else pointed out upthread, they only protect part of the body. They wouldn't stop an officer getting stabbed in the neck or femoral artery for instance. This officer was wearing a stab vest, but still ended up with some awful injuries
https://www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/pc-stuart-outten-footage-machete-attack-a4342881.html

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A grown man with a machete though, not a boy with a butter knife.

Annarabbit · 18/05/2023 18:07

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 18/05/2023 17:48

All of this. I'm in a similar situation - and parents don't have Tasers, we just have to deal with it.

Police, presumably in stab vests, should be able to get a butter knife off a child.

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^^100% this. Many, many women deal with violent and challenging behaviour of disabled young people safely every day without tasers. They deserve more recognition and support for what society expects them to cope with, with minimal resources.

Testino · 18/05/2023 18:07

He's lucky he wasn't shot. If it was the US, that would be likely.

Brandishing a knife comes with a price, for others' safety.

CornishTiger · 18/05/2023 18:10

Can anyone link the video please?

LeonardBobby · 18/05/2023 18:10

8counts · 18/05/2023 18:05

A grown man with a machete though, not a boy with a butter knife.

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Sure, a machete being used by a stronger person would be more likely to cause serious injuries, but not sure how a smaller knife would somehow be confined to the area covered by a stab vest.

MushMonster · 18/05/2023 18:14

Sorry OP, but surely you cannot draw any conclusions on general parenting from someone who says they were too harsh on their 11 year old for tasering them when the showed a knife in a public place.
That one is a nut case. And that is why the child has gone rogue. Maybe there is more to the story and further reasons for them being this disfunctional and dangerous. Because they are dangerous.

Garethkeenansstapler · 18/05/2023 18:15

I imagine this is a child with a lot of needs that are not being met

Burger King isn’t a ‘need’.

Regardless, I’m tired of ‘unmet needs’ being wheeled out for every act of poor behaviour. Everyone has needs. The officers. His mum. The public around him. We can’t solely focus on the individual especially when they pose a threat to others.

Nicknacky · 18/05/2023 18:15

Gtsr443 · 18/05/2023 17:29

There were 5 large fully trained coppers in stab vests with extendable batons and PAVA spray but discharging the taser at an 11 year old with an intellectual disability in an empty space was their only option was it?

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Please tell me you are not suggesting using a baton or pava would have been preferable in your eyes?