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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you relocate?

47 replies

Nordicrain · 17/05/2023 11:29

If you had an opportunity to relocate to another country - relocation package and assistance, decent job, good school nearby? Language not an issue.

That's all. Extra points for explaining why (either way)

OP posts:
Iwrote · 17/05/2023 11:50

Probably not, my dc really love spending time with their extended family. We have really good support networks in place. Life's reaso ably good so I wouldn't want to change that.

SunnySaturdayMorning · 17/05/2023 11:50

No. Family is too important.

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 17/05/2023 11:51

Yes. I lived overseas for a while and adored it. Would love to do it again

DominoRules · 17/05/2023 11:52

Yes we’ve done it twice - great experience and I’d recommend it to anyone. I think it’s been so beneficial to my kids too, meeting and being friends with other children from so many different cultures.

AlltheFs · 17/05/2023 11:54

No. I love where I am too much and want to be near family.

GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal · 17/05/2023 11:55

Probably not. I'd be tempted if it was somewhere with a better climate (I hate the cold), but we're pretty happy where we are, DH and the DC probably wouldn't want to go, and we wouldn't want to be too far from our parents as they're aging.

TeenLifeMum · 17/05/2023 11:57

No. My brother is in Canada and I’d happily live there but I couldn’t do that to my parents. His dc have a very different relationship with their grandparents than mine due to location. I just go on holidays.

ConsuelaHammock · 17/05/2023 11:59

No

Nevermind31 · 17/05/2023 12:00

It depends where. And for how long.
attractive location - yes, probably, but… my DC are in a very good primary school, so I wouldn’t take them out for a year and then have to go to a less good one on return.

MissAmbrosia · 17/05/2023 12:01

We did exactly this. It's been 17 years now and for the most part am really happy we did it. Caveats: It's hard being away from family/friends. Particularly when people get old / sick / die etc So it would depend on how far away you are. It can take time and effort to settle in and make friends. Any issues you have go with you. Remember the Hague Convention stops you removing a child (without explicit permission) from their place of habitual residence should parents split up. Positives: exposure to language / culture, opportunities to travel in a different area, chance to meet people from different backgrounds.

jeaux90 · 17/05/2023 12:13

I did it for three years. Good experience but wouldn't do it again now. Moved back when DD needed to start pre-school

rainraingoawaay · 17/05/2023 12:14

Depending on location / compensation, possibly.

I lived abroad as a child, would definitely do it again as an adult. We're actually considering it now (European country) for work.

SarahSmith2023 · 17/05/2023 12:17

Too many unknown factors for a yes/no.

But I suppose I could say if everything lined up I would. But then I've lived about half my life in the U.K. & the other half in a variety of other countries.

CatsOnTheChair · 17/05/2023 12:24

We did.
Fabulous time, and has been the making of DH's career (end of mine tho).
Kids have a totally different outlook on life, and have much broader horizons than many.
We came back for my parents mainly.

Oriunda · 17/05/2023 12:31

Obviously depends on location, but yes, I would ….. and we did. We didn’t even get a relocation package, other than removal costs. I love our new life and my son has a wonderful opportunity to learn a new language. It helps that we live in a beautiful city/country, with easy access to the UK if needed. I’m not close to my parents, so I didn’t have the pull of family. DH is from another country anyway, so his life hasn’t really changed; same colleagues/job but just a different country.

TedMullins · 17/05/2023 12:32

Yes 100%. But I don't have kids and I don't care about living near my parents. Not sure my partner would or could but tbh that wouldn't stop me

OhmygodDont · 17/05/2023 12:34

I would, although I have family and in-laws etc etc here. I would and can happily go months without seeing or even speaking to them. I don’t need them iykwim.

As long as it was warmer, I would have a decent sized house/plot to grow on still.

mindutopia · 17/05/2023 12:35

No, because I love where I live and have a lovely home that we were finally able to buy after 10 years of saving and want to be settled. That said, I did relocate to here and wouldn't go back to my home country. And I've lived in several other countries already. So I think I've probably moved around enough and just want to finally live in one place.

But if you don't feel you need to be settled and have the funds, then I can see why it would be attractive. My concern would be children and uprooting them, depending on ages, and settling in a new culture, even if an English speaking one (I moved from one English speaking place to the other and the cultural differences are vast).

TheKobayashiMaru · 17/05/2023 12:43

No. I love the UK and unless this was a move for a promotion with a set return year, it would be a firm no.

Also, look at the relocation package. It might look good but really dig deep. I've seen people relocate and come up against cost they had not expected that are not covered by the package.

ukhgf · 17/05/2023 12:43

This is something we can do with DH's job, although no where that really interests me. We didn't do it when the kids were younger mostly due to my career, it would have been nigh on impossible for me to keep mine going at that stage. We always said we would take the leap for US or Canada. My career is more stable now but it's harder because we've got our kids in a very good school that is statistically really difficult to get into so I feel we couldn't do it and lose that school place.

When the kids are grown I would consider North America absolutely, but we are very settled now with the kids going into their teens and wouldn't want to disrupt them unless I knew we could offer them a good educational alternative (ie if we could suddenly afford private for example).

Msbaggyworkshirts · 17/05/2023 12:52

Yes. Besides the better climate, way of living and having more disposable income, the best benefit moving was completely unexpected. Having access to a different type of healthcare was literally life changing (if not life saving) for me.

Moraxella · 17/05/2023 12:54

It’s worth it for the perspective shift. You might find you come back for family.

Ambi · 17/05/2023 12:55

I'd love to, DH couldn't leave the ILs. As long as it was a better lifestyle, I'd go in a heartbeat.

satsuuuumas · 17/05/2023 12:56

Yes I would love to relocate!! Even to somewhere completely different in the UK, but preferably by the sea! I am married to a man with children though so it's not a reality for us for a very long time. We are looking at moving house but we can't really move more than half an hour away because of the children so I really am feeling the cabin fever at the moment, especially as our area is expensive!

Saucemonkey · 17/05/2023 12:56

I would move in a heartbeat!