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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would you relocate?

47 replies

Nordicrain · 17/05/2023 11:29

If you had an opportunity to relocate to another country - relocation package and assistance, decent job, good school nearby? Language not an issue.

That's all. Extra points for explaining why (either way)

OP posts:

whoruntheworldgirls · 17/05/2023 12:59

Part of me would love to but no, i love where we live, my daughter loves school and has so many friends, i'd not want to be away from our friends either.

RedToothBrush · 17/05/2023 13:32

Not now but I'd like to.

We missed the boat with DS starting school and we wouldn't whilst he is settled.

We now have a very good social group so I'd be reluctant to for now.

However, they are all ten years older and I can see some of them moving / circumstances changing within ten years time.

DH will still only be 50, so yeah I think we'd like to up sticks and go somewhere.

bobby81 · 17/05/2023 13:41

I couldn't do it, would miss my family too much.

Divorcedalongtime · 17/05/2023 13:43

Yes! But I have relocated twice (before children) .
I wouldn’t do it now as they are all teens but I would have when they were younger.

Lcb123 · 17/05/2023 13:52

I'd never say never. but would depend on the specifics, duration, where it is, etc.

ShudUppa · 17/05/2023 13:52

Yes in a heartbeat.

Because life is short and you should seize every opportunity for adventure that comes your way.

Citygirlrurallife · 17/05/2023 14:00

If it were me and right now, no, but that’s because we’ve just moved to the U.K. after a decade in the states so not wanting to go anywhere anytime soon. But for someone else - yes, go for it, you can always come back

whirlyhead · 17/05/2023 14:05

My parents did this when I was young and it worked out fine. I never saw my grandparents again, but as I didn't know them it has never bothered me.

My siblings and their families and my parents all now live a long way away from each other so we can go years without seeing each other which is also fine - there's always whatsapp. I have a nephew I haven't seen since he was 8 (now in his mid 30s I think - I probably wouldn't recognise him if I fell over him!)

I really appreciate having grown up and been educated in a different country. and I'm very glad my parents moved.

PuppyNightmares · 17/05/2023 14:09

I would definitely do it, we have toxic extended family, so I would be running away from that.
I think it depends if you are happy where you are. If you have a good life, nice house, good extended family and friend relationships and live in an area that you like, have a stable job then I would stay. If any of those aspects are missing I would relocate.

FunnysInLaJardin · 17/05/2023 14:11

depends if you like where you live now tbh.

We did it 25 years ago before DC, but I love where we live now and wouldn't be tempted to do it again

ICouldHaveCheckedFirst · 17/05/2023 14:12

Yes.
Brexit.

BarbedButterfly · 17/05/2023 14:13

Yes, 100%. Don't see my family much anyway and though my partner is close to his, we have often talked about doing this.

Original poster

Nordicrain · 17/05/2023 14:37

The job would be mine - similar seniority/ role to what I am doing now but with a really interesting company. DH wouldn't have a job to go to but is happy for a career break untill something comes up. There's a good relocation package on offer.

The place itself is in a western european country known for good standard of living, there is a good international school and I am actually from there (although have lived in the UK for 20 years) so know the language and have some family (not close). We don't have fmaily nearby where we live in the UK now.

BUT we are very settled here, kids are happy, have a good school, nice home, good social life/ community.

I have moved a lot in my life (as a child every few years, and to the UK when I grew up), but I am torn.

OP posts:

bluebeck · 17/05/2023 14:40

Yes, and have done so. Really enjoyed it.

TropicalMoon · 17/05/2023 14:43

Whilst I like the idea of living somewhere with a warmer & sunnier climate - I would be sad to move away from my family. I’m close to my parents/brothers/sisters and my dcs have a great relationship with them.

GettingStuffed · 17/05/2023 14:44

My son is in this position and both us and the in-laws are saying to for it. The way the UK is going In glad they have the chance to get away.

MrsMariaReynolds · 17/05/2023 14:53

Yup, we have, to the UK. Problem is, we're still here 13 years later (and our standard of living is much lower than when we first arrived--no thanks to Brexit, Tory "destruction", etc)
Problem is, both myself and DH have lost touch with our former industries so finding decent employment to return "home" has been near impossible. And DS has essentially grown up to accept the UK as his permanent home, which was never our original intention. I've resigned myself to being stuck here forever...

astarsheis · 17/05/2023 16:34

Yes we did 5 posting across 4 continents and the kids were fine. Just make sure there are good British schools or international schools if that's in your package.

coxesorangepippin · 17/05/2023 16:35

Yes I'd be there like a shot

Capturetotalelotion · 17/05/2023 16:47

I have done it for 3 years and it was very life affirming and a great experience. I didn’t grow up in the UK either though, so I found it easier to adapt than my DH. Be careful about the package though, setting up cost us a lot more than we first expected. Good luck!

GrumpyInsomniac · 17/05/2023 16:54

When I was younger I would have said yes without hesitation. I did live and work in France for several years when I was younger. But at this point we both have parents who are getting on a bit, if not actually having an “elderly” state of mind, and I worry about being too far away if they were to become ill.

My mum is recently widowed, is in her mid seventies and I am her POA if anything were to happen, while PIL are now in their eighties and while active, are starting to show signs of slowing down and becoming more frail.

We’ve had the opportunity of moving to Japan in the past year or so and once I would have jumped at it. Maybe if the situation changed in the next 10 years or so we’ll reconsider. We’re both in our early fifties.

caringcarer · 17/05/2023 17:04

Yes, it doesn't have to be living overseas forever.

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