When do the big parties stop?

[Thisisanawkwardwatch]

Dd, is 5 this summer, we’re doing a *Big full class party at a play place for all
her classmates and friends from outside of school. It includes everything-cake, themed decor, hire of the place, food, goodie bags, ballon maker, glitter tattoo/face painter etc.
This is fairly standard where we are (we’re abroad) and comes to around €400-€500, this plus buying her presents is crazy to me and we could have a small holiday for this.
However, most of her friends have similar, she’s desperate for a big party and I’m doing extra hours to pay for it.
Her birthdays in the past have been, a little garden party for my parents, immediate family etc at age 1, age 2 was during lockdown so just us, but lots of balloons, bubbles, presents, a lovely cake etc. Age 3 was a party in the park/playground with around ten friends and last year was with immediate family again, with pass the parcel etc and a meal out with pizza and ice cream (with family)
This is why I want to do the big friends one this year. How many years do they tend to be parties like this? I’m expecting next year to be pretty similar, does it change at all at 7 ish? When does it become a smaller group for say the cinema/bowling etc or what else does it become?

YABU - it becomes a smaller group when you make it a smaller group!

Having said that, it's a good idea to hold a whole class party the first year as its good to get everyone together and the parents can get to know each other over a coffee too.

I only used to do it in reception year though - the first year. After that we did smaller ones. I didn't really care what the others did because i'm not a sheep.

I also think you're being a bit optimistic about having a small holiday for 400 euros but if it is the case would you mind sharing them location with us😀

@Chowtime With €400-500 plus her presents this year-€300 average, we could definitely get away for a bit, where I am anyway! We won’t do a hol because of this, but I know it will be worth it, just seems a huge amount 😩is that normal

Yeah, it's normal if you can afford it.

I used to keep costs down by hiring a village hall which was of course the same price no matter how many people attended, then I'd do the catering myself. No face-painter but there would have been an entertainer - again, same price no matter how many attend.

Kids are expensive!

They really are! 🙈

For the kids that had parties big class parties seemed to be the norm in reception, but in Y1 it’s been about half and half between class parties and a smaller gathering. Some have had all the boys (or all the girls), some have had a set number of friends to a more expensive activity (eg trampoline park).
We’re in the south of the UK.

Parties should be for families and friends, with a limit on numbers according to budget restraints. Such extravagance will breed entitlement and once you start there's no going back.

If they all have big parties this year, note who else has a birthday around the same time, and suggest a joint party next year. And then after that it does seem to simmer down to smaller parties.
One of the best parties in DD's class was joint between four boys, with a note on the invitation saying "don't get more than one gift - we'll divvy them up between the boys".

I got creative after a couple of years, love hosting a gang of kids but lacked the funds.

At age 7 I did a water gun battles in the local park and back to house for pizza and cake.

At 8 and 9 I do a whole class parties in our home - standard 3 bed organised a target range on the washing line in the back garden. Giant Jenga in the front garden and inside had a couple of areas with table tennis/pin the tail on the donkey. Sweets, popcorn, crisps, cake and soft drinks - cheap and cheerful!

10, I did a "murder mystery" game put them in teams and put adult with them in and around the area solving clues back to house for drinks/cake/sweets.

Now I am in the teen years they usually just gather their friends for pizza.

I think until they have defined friendship group. So whenever that happens!
I wouldn't be dirnding much on gifts though - I've nice present is enough considering all the gifts they'll get at the party. Didn't have any parties at all in secondary - the odd sleepover or dinner out.

We are in Y1 and most parties have been only boys or only girls. But they tend to be more activity based (softplay, trampolining, etc) so almost just as expensive unfortunately.

LOVE these ideas! I’m saving your post for future inspiration!

DC in y2 and full class parties still going strong however nearly all parties are joined with other children in the class eg all August birthdays together in September, all spring birthdays in April. On some occasions it’s been 4 birthdays at a time and it’s a considerable saving as well as freeing up weekends.

Full class parties were mainly in Reception and Yr 1 in our primary, then went to all girls/ boys or smaller friendship groups..

It is the same where we are (in UK). My daughter is in reception and each class mate will have a party costing in the region of £400-500. Unless you want to hold the party as your own house and make all the food youself you will struggle to get it much cheaper.

Most of the parties that we have been to are fairly modest (i.e. pretty generic venue, bouncy castle, face painter or entertainer, and food). But all this still adds up.

Definitely dropped off to a mixture of whole class and more select groups in Y1 where I am. Last year for age 5 I did hall with bouncy castle for the whole class plus a few extras. This year she really wanted a certain activity that has a number limit of about 15 so somewhere in between for us!

Our school mixes 1 and 2 plus they mixed the 2 reception classes across 3 Y1/2 classes so whole class plus friends in other classes in too many for me!

My 8 year old is Gabi h a party for 10. Still costs £450 (including cake, activity, party bags, food)

Mine got one class party each, thereafter smaller ones. Few people can afford to do big parties every year. Plus the stress!!

My children had one whole class party when they were in p2. There is no right or wrong way.

Where I am it’s common for children to double up for whole class parties, so parents split the costs. Even where they don’t have an especially close friend with a similar birth date, someone will put on the class WhatsApp “does anyone want to share a party in June” etc. I find it tails off in Y1/Y2

at DD’s school they all did whole class for the first year, after that it was only the odd one ‘whole class’ and more often just the boys/girls etc.

I do think the spending can easily run away and I personally think it’s nice to do the traditional things whilst they’re little enough to be happy with it. Sandwiches and cake garden party with a piñata and pass the parcel, or hiring a village hall etc

Love the creative ideas from a pp

We've got the opposite problem. Tiny class of 11 and most of them are Jehovah's. Would love to throw a big party

It’s worth noting that a lot
of the children in this age group didn’t have parties, even simple ones, for a couple of years. I found parents went a bit
OTT last year when they were able to have parties again but it has settled down now

We have never had a big party, biggest my kids had that was friends (so not counting their joint 2nd/9th party back in our home town for family and old friends) has been 3 friends plus birthday child.

It was never something we could afford to do on a big scale, paying hundreds for an hour or 2. We've always done an activity with a small group of close friends instead. They just had their birthdays a couple of months ago, my youngest is too young to bother with parties yet (3) but my eldest (10) and his 3 closest friends done Lazer quest then back to ours for pizza/party food, cake and Xbox

My eldest's 6th birthday we took him and his best friend at the time to Legoland Discovery centre for the day and got a MacDonalds on the way home. They had a blast.

He's never asked for a massive party or asked why he hasn't had one

I know they don't do Christmas or Easter, but children's parties? Really?

Eh?