When do the big parties stop?

[Thisisanawkwardwatch]

Dd, is 5 this summer, we’re doing a *Big full class party at a play place for all
her classmates and friends from outside of school. It includes everything-cake, themed decor, hire of the place, food, goodie bags, ballon maker, glitter tattoo/face painter etc.
This is fairly standard where we are (we’re abroad) and comes to around €400-€500, this plus buying her presents is crazy to me and we could have a small holiday for this.
However, most of her friends have similar, she’s desperate for a big party and I’m doing extra hours to pay for it.
Her birthdays in the past have been, a little garden party for my parents, immediate family etc at age 1, age 2 was during lockdown so just us, but lots of balloons, bubbles, presents, a lovely cake etc. Age 3 was a party in the park/playground with around ten friends and last year was with immediate family again, with pass the parcel etc and a meal out with pizza and ice cream (with family)
This is why I want to do the big friends one this year. How many years do they tend to be parties like this? I’m expecting next year to be pretty similar, does it change at all at 7 ish? When does it become a smaller group for say the cinema/bowling etc or what else does it become?

None of my dc were ever invited to whole class parties and we didn’t hold them either. The older 2 are 17 and 18 and the done thing when they were little was to choose 10-12ish friends and book out one of the 4 soft play places round here. Then when they were about 8 or 9 it was 6 friends to either pottery paining/cupcake decorating places, that sort of thing.
Whole class parties weren’t done in our school at least! And I would not have wanted to spend weekends for a couple of years hanging around a village hall with 30 other sets of parents with whom I had nothing in common with other than the fact we gave birth within the same school year 😂

I have literally told my children "if you want a big party you it's your school friends then mummy and daddy won't get you any presents" because we simply cannot afford that! One dc piped up "but our friends will get us presents so it's ok" then they stopped and thought and said "no, they won't know what we like or want and we always get our friends. A barbie, book or Lego" they're beginning to understand the cost of things and know them items are under a tenner as such...

Never had a full class party and never will. It's totally acceptable to have smaller numbers. Sod what anyone else does and thinks.

And yes, I've had to have some awkward conversations with people who are not invited but I'm just honest and say I can't manage or afford a full class party. I wouldn't survive it!

I have always done joint parties with other kids in the class so the cost is lower and whole class is invited so no one left out

I know they don't do Christmas or Easter, but children's parties? Really?

^ yea I had no idea till I sent invites out.

I used to give my kids the option of a party, plus a very small gift from us, or a gift from us worth £150/200.

Our children were given a choice. Party or present. As paying £xxx for all their friends to come to a party is the present as far as I’m concerned. All their guests bring a gift. Your child doesn’t need another present from you as well.

Y1 was the end of big class parties, the smaller ones aren't necessarily cheaper though as the activities are more £££

I did a small bowling party for my five year old.
You do what suits you and your child. I hate hosting and he was more than happy with the £75 party and custom cake (the cake was far more important to him that a massive party anyway)

Do what suits you! In my experience it tends to be full class parties until age 6, then all girls/boys for a year or two (with some smaller parties too) and then by 9 it's friendship group only.

It depends on a lot of things, including parents income. Where I live money is tight for most people so big parties are rare (2 or 3 a year) and only in reception. Most people who invite more than 5 dc have it in their back garden or hire a church hall and either a bouncy castle or games like pass the parcel/musical statues. Works out not hugely expensive. My dn seemed to still go to really expensive big parties regularly all through primary school though so it varies. It's great when they get to 17ish because they organise it themselves and each person pays for their meal, bowling etc themselves so you just have to give them £20ish per outing and drop them off/pick them up.

Your parties actually sound way more fun than the fancy ones. Then again I was an 80s/90s kid, very lower MC, and would have loved simple parties like yours

Reception here and it’s been a mix of whole class and small groups.

I’ve never done a whole class party and don’t think I ever will -
DD knows who she likes/plays with
Her siblings are twins - nfw will I host a party for 60
We put a bouncy castle in the garden, ten-ish kids; sandwiches crisps juice and cake and they are happy. I may just buy a sodding bouncy castle but in the meantime the whole thing is under £250, with adult food and good party bags.

I gave my youngest the option of a party or a lunch out to his favourite restaurant and an outing. He chose the latter.
It way too expensive to do both.

I stopped whole class parties in year 2. That was when the kids only wanted their actual friends to be invited anyway.

A bit off topic but happens when your child has a birthday in December and a) all the halls are booked out for office parties, with b) parents who want to attend said office party and won't be able to accompany their child to a birthday all during c) the most busiest and expensive season of the year???

Asking for a friend.

So it in November. Not January.

Dts are august so not quite the same but we used to do their parties early July.

Those sound pretty “fancy” to me! I’ve done things like this at our house, it’s fun but I wouldn’t describe these as simple, they do require thought and effort, far more than booking a soft play (which I’ve also done, but shared the cost with parents of other birthday children - came out cheaper than hosting at home in fact!)

I think by fancy I mean the ridiculously OTT ones. That's not to say I don't think anyone should have them if they want to and can afford them.

DD’s 8th birthday was her last big party, we hired a village hall. Her 9th she had her 5 closets friends round for a themed dinner party, 10th was bowling with about 7 or 8 from her class, 11th was in the second lockdown so we couldn’t do anything, 12th was a sleepover with her 2 very best friends and her 13th was a shopping trip and sleepover with the same 2 friends.

Obviously that should say closest friends not closets friends!

Oh ok. I don’t know how common that is really, all the children’s parties I’ve hosted or attended have been either games at home, or village hall and entertainer/bouncy castle, or soft play.

We. did two, DD turned 4 and 5. After that just a handful (up to 8-10) for an activity.

We had one larger swimming one when DD turned 9 as our house was a building site and the pool had a flat fee of 20 children so it didn't matter.

Have it in January!

We ended up having DS’s party a month late, because the date we originally planned clashed with his best friend’s birthday party. He loved it, meant he got two rounds of presents far enough apart that it was like a whole second birthday.

Also shocked at how much some of you are paying! It’s £150 for two hours in soft play around here, and then I just buy sandwiches/squash/crisps, and a cake from M&S. Definitely spend <£100.

I budget £150 for a child’s party and invite the whole class. Rent a hall and bouncy castle takes half the budget. £50 on food. Make my own cake and then do some diy party bags. There are some great ideas on Pinterest. A few prizes needed for the games and pass the parcel.
I do know people who have spent hundreds but the kids haven’t enjoyed the cheaper parties less.