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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask for advice on buying a home as a single parent with no job

72 replies

N2022 · 16/05/2023 22:12

I'm a single mum on maternity leave with no job to go back to. I'm a nanny & my employers assured me I'd be able to bring my baby to work with me once I returned but have now reneged on the offer. They brought the idea up to me, I didn't ask. I can't afford nursery & don't want to put him in so young anyway.
I've looked for other nanny jobs but keep being turned down because of my child. A couple families have said they're afraid I'll neglect their child for my own which I understand to a point but also think is ridiculous. In my opinion its a win win as they'll both have a permanent playmate & will be treated exactly the same. If anything, for fear of being judged for that very thing I'd probably end up putting the other child's needs above mine, in the beginning at least, so that there was no chance of being accused of that. I'm still looking but with no success & not sure what else I could do for work as I'm unqualified.

I live with my parents at the moment but the house is too small for all of us and I've reached the point where I need my own space as an almost 30 year old. I would like to start my own little family home with my little one and give them somewhere nice to grow up as well as having something to leave behind.
I've circa 20K in savings which I know is nothing, especially for London, but it's a start. Does anyone have any advice on how I could get on the property ladder in the situation I'm in? I know I'll have to move out of London for one- I've been looking at Nottingham and Derbyshire. The prices there are great, it's not too far from home and I've seen some really lovely houses.

If no advice re housing I would really appreciate any tips on how to make my money work for me. I'm great with saving, not that I've been able to since being off on mat leave, but clueless when it comes to investing, different types of saving accounts, stocks and bonds etc.

Thank you

OP posts:
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HollyFern1110 · 16/05/2023 22:23

So, in the most basic terms, how will you pay the mortgage without a job? If you get a job, you will need to consider the cost of childcare.

If you do get a new job, a nanny in Derby will nowhere near attract the salary of a nanny in London.

I'm sorry but we live in the Midlands & my DCs with good savings and good incomes are struggling to buy. "Moving north" is a very naive London trend. It's bloody expensive here too! Well, in the areas you'd want to live in.

Yellowflowerr · 16/05/2023 22:24

Realistically, you probably aren’t going to be able to get a mortgage with no job. That’s just a no brainer (and also wouldn’t be a very wise thing to do with a new baby). I’d suggest focusing on your job situation first, best of luck :)

Thekormachameleon · 16/05/2023 22:27

You aren't going to get a mortgage with no income. At all

AluckyEllie · 16/05/2023 22:34

As above- no bank will give you a mortgage without a job because how will you pay it? You could go on waiting list for council housing I suppose but that’s not going to happen in london.

SarahAndQuack · 16/05/2023 22:39

I wouldn't focus on the property ladder first off. I'd focus on the job. It seems to me you have two options (if you really don't want to put your DC into nursery, which I absolutely understand). Either you can keep shopping around for someone who does want a nanny with a child of her own. Or you can change careers. It must be a horrible shock to suddenly find what you thought was a secure job has disappeared, but so many people change careers after maternity leave - it is very normal. What else might you do?

I would then work out how these plans might mesh with moving to a cheaper area. If you could rent somewhere in Nottingham and work as a nanny, you might then be able to get a better sense of how to move forwards.

12roundsofwhitelowfatspread · 16/05/2023 22:40

I would use a small amount of your savings to re-train and to pay for childcare while you study. Then you could aim at starting a new career, and you’d have a smaller deposit but it would be combined with a regular income, so you would be much more likely to be offered a mortgage.

CountMushroom · 16/05/2023 22:46

OP, respectfully, wasn’t this an obvious consequence of having a baby when your only work experience was as a nanny where you were dependent on the goodwill of your previous employers to allow you to bring your baby to work?

I think you need to forget about buying a house for now, and concentrate on finding a job, or acquiring some qualifications that will allow you to find one.

Kona84 · 16/05/2023 22:48

So I would be looking for a new job and calculating childcare costs for your child.
mid then be drip feeding (if it’s not already in one of course) the 20k into a help to buy ISA if you can still open one- this is the one where the government top up the savings to help you to buy.
so you can be earning more on your savings while you work and save more and get a larger deposit behind you.
as well has having a large deposit you might want to look at building credit file - what bills do you pay for in your name to show you can manage your money?

CountMushroom · 16/05/2023 22:49

12roundsofwhitelowfatspread · 16/05/2023 22:40

I would use a small amount of your savings to re-train and to pay for childcare while you study. Then you could aim at starting a new career, and you’d have a smaller deposit but it would be combined with a regular income, so you would be much more likely to be offered a mortgage.

And yes, this. Use the money you have saved to fund putting yourself in a better position to find work.

UsingChangeofName · 16/05/2023 22:54

Well yes, YABU.
Why do you think a bank / building society would lend money to someone who has no income ? Confused

From the title I assumed this was going to be someone who had enough actual money to buy a property.

Unless you are independently wealthy, or you have a wealthy partner, then obviously you would have to work, and, if you are at work then you need childcare for your child, so 'not wanting to put him in Nursery' isn't really an option.

ReverseFerret · 16/05/2023 23:01

In some parts of the North you could buy a one bed flat outright for 20K

Dressshelp · 16/05/2023 23:05

in your shoes I would use the savings to put a years rent down on a property (because you will struggle to rent never mind but with no income) I’d then retrain as a childminder so you can have children in your own own with your baby and still work. Keep saving, and build up your self employed business, and then buy when things are more stable.

plasticpens · 16/05/2023 23:06

I think you need to be looking for a job, not a house. Start at the beginning.

JudgeRudy · 16/05/2023 23:16

Assuming you were to secure another nannying job around say earning £26k you'll probably be won't be able to borrow more than £100k. Even with a deposit you'll not buy much for that. Whilst I appreciate its not great living with your parents presuming you considered these things before you went ahead with the pregnancy.
Have you considered staying put for the next few years until your child's at nursey/school. If your parents are able to help out a bit with childcare you could just work and save like mad for the next few years. If you secure a job you might be in a position to buy a home (in a cheaper town you like) and rent it out till you're ready to move in. It would mean putting your life on hold for a few years but if you have long term vision that's doable.
The other option is renting. Plenty of people will never afford to own their home. You might need to let go of that dream as atm it sounds unrealistic.
BTW ensure you claim Child Support

Original poster
N2022 · 16/05/2023 23:36

Honestly, why would I think I could get a mortgage without any form of employment? 🙄 I said I am looking for work. I was asking for advice on how to get on the property ladder but not right this minute, just how I'd go about it in my current situation. Thanks for some of the constructive advice given.

OP posts:
plasticpens · 16/05/2023 23:43

N2022 · 16/05/2023 23:36

Honestly, why would I think I could get a mortgage without any form of employment? 🙄 I said I am looking for work. I was asking for advice on how to get on the property ladder but not right this minute, just how I'd go about it in my current situation. Thanks for some of the constructive advice given.

You specified in the OP you were looking for help for the situation you are in so don't be surprised that people have taken you at face value.

Greensheeps · 16/05/2023 23:50

@N2022 what is your timeline for buying a house? Most savings, investments, stocks and shares are best long term so I’m not sure you’d get the return required short term especially if you’re starting from scratch.
keep building on your deposit. You should be able to get a mortgage circa 5x your salary. Try and attain paid employment as soon as possible as you will need minimum 3 months bank statements as historic proof of income, also keep your outgoing low as they will check your income and outgoings as well make note you have a dependent.
Try to ignore these negative knobbers above….it’s fantastic you have an aim and trying to find advice on how to achieve it!

Greensheeps · 16/05/2023 23:53

I would say be careful moving so far from home (assuming London to notts/derby?) if you depend on family/friends for childcare or support frequently. The prices there are cheap but it’s not particularly well connected and will add an expense

PlantDoctor · 17/05/2023 00:00

N2022 · 16/05/2023 23:36

Honestly, why would I think I could get a mortgage without any form of employment? 🙄 I said I am looking for work. I was asking for advice on how to get on the property ladder but not right this minute, just how I'd go about it in my current situation. Thanks for some of the constructive advice given.

I think the way you have worded the title is eliciting this response.

DixonD · 17/05/2023 00:03

It’s your title OP. It literally states you want advice on buying a home as a single parent with no job. It’s why you’re getting these responses.

Greensheeps · 17/05/2023 00:10

@DixonD Yeah but she’s asking on advice on where to start….

Original poster
N2022 · 17/05/2023 00:11

Thank you @Greensheeps . I appreciate your kind words and advice. I understand it will take a few years of working and saving hard so i'm looking at 5 years minimum once I'm able to find secure employment. I want better for my child so I'm not going to just give up because I'm not in the best of situations right now. I agree, moving away from my support system isn't something I particularly want to do but likely the only way I'd be able to afford a decent house. I've still got a lot of time to think about it anyway. Thank you again

OP posts:
JessieLongleg · 17/05/2023 00:17

Maybe rent where you want to buy and can afford and do childcare at home. Once built up customers and regular wage buy then.

LemonjeIIo · 17/05/2023 00:23

Dressshelp · 16/05/2023 23:05

in your shoes I would use the savings to put a years rent down on a property (because you will struggle to rent never mind but with no income) I’d then retrain as a childminder so you can have children in your own own with your baby and still work. Keep saving, and build up your self employed business, and then buy when things are more stable.

Best answer yet

Greensheeps · 17/05/2023 00:25

@N2022 look into the lifetime ISA. I don’t know the ins and outs completely but I believe the government will contribute 25% of your savings annually and it can be accessed to buy your first house. https://www.gov.uk/lifetime-isa
Its been in the news recently that 100% mortgages are back on the market so the fact you have a pretty decent deposit is in your favour

Lifetime ISA

Tax free saving for your first home and later life: what is a LISA, who can apply, 25% government bonus, withdrawal charges.

https://www.gov.uk/lifetime-isa

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