To ask for advice on buying a home as a single parent with no job

[N2022]

I'm a single mum on maternity leave with no job to go back to. I'm a nanny & my employers assured me I'd be able to bring my baby to work with me once I returned but have now reneged on the offer. They brought the idea up to me, I didn't ask. I can't afford nursery & don't want to put him in so young anyway.
I've looked for other nanny jobs but keep being turned down because of my child. A couple families have said they're afraid I'll neglect their child for my own which I understand to a point but also think is ridiculous. In my opinion its a win win as they'll both have a permanent playmate & will be treated exactly the same. If anything, for fear of being judged for that very thing I'd probably end up putting the other child's needs above mine, in the beginning at least, so that there was no chance of being accused of that. I'm still looking but with no success & not sure what else I could do for work as I'm unqualified.

I live with my parents at the moment but the house is too small for all of us and I've reached the point where I need my own space as an almost 30 year old. I would like to start my own little family home with my little one and give them somewhere nice to grow up as well as having something to leave behind.
I've circa 20K in savings which I know is nothing, especially for London, but it's a start. Does anyone have any advice on how I could get on the property ladder in the situation I'm in? I know I'll have to move out of London for one- I've been looking at Nottingham and Derbyshire. The prices there are great, it's not too far from home and I've seen some really lovely houses.

If no advice re housing I would really appreciate any tips on how to make my money work for me. I'm great with saving, not that I've been able to since being off on mat leave, but clueless when it comes to investing, different types of saving accounts, stocks and bonds etc.

Thank you

One thing to keep in mind is your credit score, if you have any history of bad debts, late payments, overdraft etc, be extremely careful of what you're doing now so that it's air tight for when you do need a mortgage. If you haven't got any credit, get some, but make sure to pay it off every month, it shows that you can handle borrowing and repayments, and make sure you're on the electoral role wherever you are as that gives proof of your address history for searches.

I got agreed for a 95% mortgage in principle when I bought my first house years ago, then when I came to get it they rescinded the offer saying as I dip in and out of my overdraft, it 'proved I couldn't manage my money' so the offer was no longer on the table, I'd already switched my bank accounts over to them when they gave me the original offer as they said it would be easier all in one place, I was so upset.

I walked straight out that bank into another bank and luckily got accepted for a 90% mortgage, but 5 weeks into the process I got a call to say they had to rescind the mortgage offer as I hadn't paid my phone bill and it pinged my credit file!! Turns out the first bank, when changing over all my direct debits (an automated process when you change banks) had forgot one! I was fucking livid!! I managed to get it wiped off my credit score with some faffery, and the mortgage went through, I was a complete bag of nerves until the house purchase was finalised.

The thing that gets me is that I'd been paying rent for 10 years, more then what my mortgage payments were going to be, and never missed a payment.. it's about time they started taking real world things like that into consideration!

Also, use a mortgage broker, a lot of the time they don't get paid unless they get you the mortgage, so they will get you the mortgage! or they will tell you upfront if you're not viable without you having to damage your credit score by applying yourself and being turned down.

How about this:

You stay where you are for now. You use some of your savings either to get a qualification you need, or to pay for childcare while you find a transferrable job (could your parents help a bit?). Anything left, you save like mad.

All being well, once your child is school age, you will hopefully be in a better position job-wise and perhaps will still have some savings.l too.

In the time between now and when your child starts school, research where you want to live. Look for cheap housing, employment opportunities and schools.

You move in time for child to start at school, and you will hopefully take a step up career ladder with new job. You will probably need to rent for a while, but when you see a house / flat you like - pounce, and get that mortgage!

In terms of transferrable jobs that shouldn’t take too long to qualify for - what about a T.A or Healthcare assistant? Both can lead to better roles and pay, with experience. Or maybe letting /estate agent? Perfect for learning about the housing market!

Good luck OP. You seem like a go-getter. Be careful about getting a LISA as once the money’s in you can’t get it out again, except to buy a house or retire and you may want more flexibility than that.

It's a potential option but I'm not sure the maths adds up in London.

Renting a property suitable from which to run a childcare business is not going to be cheap.

That assumes a landlord would be willing for a business to be run from the property.

Plus all the investment you'd have to put into a property to meet applicable safety legislation that you could lose after 12 months if the business didn't succeed (and even if it does it's very unlikely the profits would yield a sustainable long term income).

Sadly childcare salaries do not reflect the importance of the role.

In all honesty OP I think you need to have a major rethink about your earning potential.

Your career in childcare with a child of your own is very limited in terms of earnings.

Personally I'd be looking at a wholesale career change and retraining, investing your savings to do so if necessary.

What current qualifications do you have?

What interests you?

Only my opinion, but I don't think this a good idea at all, renting is a pit that you will struggle to get out of, it is so incredibly hard to save anything while renting, especially if you're renting alone, if that 20k dwindles down you can kiss goodbye to ever getting on the property ladder.

I would say it would be far better to stay at home for a while, get any training, career prospects lined up while you've got that stability and look to buy when you're in the position to do so.

Frankly, a nanny is very expensive because you are paying for exclusive care for a child/children. No one willpay a nanny to look after the nanny's own child first and then their child second. The fact that you think it wouldnt be like that is irrelevant, a parent spunking 30k on a nanny is going to want guarantees that you are not able to give.

You need to be realistic, and absolutely nothing in your posts suggests to me that you are. SImply put, you dont want your own child in child care, but you expect someone else to pay you to look after your baby AND their child at the same time and take your word for it that you wont prioritise your own child. I am probably going to get roasted for this but a 30 year old who lives at home, has no qualifications and doesnt understand the problem but wants to buy a house.....I wouldnt employ you either.

@PyongyangKipperbang wow,
you’re nasty. I admit when I went back to work I was a bit sceptical of leaving my child with a nanny who had her own through the belief they would always put their own first….but I would be fine with that now.

I also have a friend who’s looking for a live in nanny who she would encourage to run her own childminding business in house…
Why you wouldn’t appreciate the qualities of someone ambitious yet not afraid to ask for support is beyond me.

I didnt say that I wouldnt employ a person who was also looking after their own child, but that people who can afford to pay for a FT nanny would want assurances that the OP isnt able to give assurances about the paying families child coming first. And she isnt!
I said that I wouldnt employ her because I wouldnt want someone who wasnt able to understand that basic premise, along with the fact that her first thought isnt "How can I work in my situation" but "How can I buy a house with no job", to be giving any sort of education to my child.

Glad you were still able to buy your house @sandyhappypeople ! It makes no sense that they don't take into account rent payments does it. Thanks for the advice re mortgage broker. My credit is very good thankfully.

All the comments about staying put for now, that's the plan as it just makes sense. I'm going to suck it up, find employment and just save save save until I'm in a better position to buy

@PyongyangKipperbang not sure i’d employ you either when you don’t seem to be able to interpret her posts correctly

Okie doke

Good job we’re not in the same line of work eh 😂

A couple families have said they're afraid I'll neglect their child for my own which I understand to a point but also think is ridiculous.

if you understand, it can’t be a ridiculous argument as there’s some merit. They don’t want to pay you to share your time between their child and yours. They want 100% of your devoted attention on their child, and you can’t guarantee that as your own child might need attending to during work hours. Your child changes the dynamic. They don’t want their money or facilities to be spent on your baby. Unless you offered some type of discount that is. They’re not wanting a “permanent playmate” so won’t pay extra for it.

I don’t see why using childcare isn’t a viable option as the government can contribute to your costs, and you could have family support with childcare as you live with family. Can your ex look after the child? On your current income in London, buying a house isn’t realistic. You might even get a council home beforehand.

I’d use this time to plan your future. Perhaps retrain in a different field so when your child is older, you’ll be on a higher income.

@PyongyangKipperbang 1. There are many families who allow their nanny to bring their child along. Two families where I previously worked do so which is why my employers offered in the first place. They will normally lower your hourly/salary a bit to account for your child. It is a nannyshare effectively & means both children have a similar/same aged playmate, the family save money and you don't have to miss out on seeing your child grow up.

1. At 19 I had to quit studying abroad with a fast track to my dream job to move back home and look after my parents who were in ill health. I found a decent paying job (nannying) that I also enjoyed- I've always been amazing with children & took care of everything at home whilst saving what I could.

My parents have in recent years improved a whole lot which means I can look about my own life again. My circumstances are very different now being that I am almost 30 and have a child on my own but that's life. The father and I were meant to move together but he up and left during the early days of my pregnancy and never looked back.

So yes, this is why I am asking for the advice as life hasn't panned out as I expected. Had I not had to move back home, I'd have my qualifications, I'd have my house and I guess I'd have your respect too.

Would you consider getting that qualification?

@Greensheeps You've been very kind on this post. Thank you very much x
Likewise to everyone else who has been helpful in giving advice :)

@itsrainin I've looked into it but that ship has sailed now unfortunately.

Can I suggest you think about making contact with the National Careers service as a way to review where you are and possible directions for the future - https://nationalcareers.service.gov.uk/. The service is free.

@N2022 no worries! It annoys me when people try to shoot others down yet come across as a tit whilst doing it.
Someone with a plan and ambition who is willing to seek advice on how to achieve their goals is probably one of the most valuable people you can employ! So the people telling you to “be realistic “ annoy the fuck out of me.
I don’t know how old your child is and how long you have left on mat leave but you’ve had some good advice for trying to get some qualifications whilst on mat leave as difficult as juggling the two is.
To me you’ve demonstrated willingness, flexibility and determination. It’s a powerful combination

If you’re open to working whilst looking after your child, some roles where you can work from home could be suitable. It depends on the work and how needy your child can be. Eg some days I just reply/send emails, make a couple of calls, attend a meeting, update a spreadsheet and I’m on £34k. I don’t have kids with me whilst working from home, but I have a calm enough day that I could take 5 here and there without dropping in performance

Forget about buying a house, your main issue is that you're unqualified in anything.
Any adult should find that alarming and do whatever they can to obtain either a great skill or qualification.

I'm studying for an online degree atm and I've a baby. It's hard and takes a lot of juggling and late night studying, but life is hard.

I get childcare subsidy to put my baby in childcare whilst I study. None of us want to put our kids in daycare but we do, even those in much better situation than yours.

So put your baby in daycare (with a generous government subsidy), study for qualifications, use £20k to live on whilst you study.
Forget about 'not much space living with the parents', you don't have the luxury to move out. Be grateful you have somewhere to live without paying a huge rent.

N2022 What do you like doing and what were those earlier qualifications? It sounds like you had decent A levels (or equivalent).

You like children and fell into nannying. If you could do any work now, what would make you happy? What motivates you now (as may be different than when you were younger)?

You've been dealt a tough hand, but it is possible to change things around in your life if that's something that appeals.

I'm clearly of the "invest in yourself = investing in your future" club here, but it's true. I study with the OU and it's mind blowing what is possible.

There may be more options out there for you that your experience and interests (or an interest) align in that will increase your earning potential. Maybe step back from the "saving for a house" mindset temporarily, just to give your mind a chance to look for and at all the options there are for you.

As a single mother and out of work you may qualify for free qualifications - they provide childcare as well.

Pleas e look into this and give yourself a better chance of becoming a high earner .

I'd stay put and get a qualification for a well paid job. Technology. Then you can buy something and not struggle.

You said it is mind blowing what is possible. Do you have any examples?

If you could get a house (bought or rented). you could set up a childminding business.

The only way I could see you could get a house would be if someone bought it and rented it to you or possibly if some e guaranteed it for you.