Ex partner refusing to return house keys

[Loolala]

Ex partner no longer lives with me, the house is mine soley.

however he is now ignoring all requests I have made for the return of my house keys

is there anything I can do (except the obvious of change the locks)

@MrsSkylerWhite it's irrelevant.

reporting abuse is one thing, involving the police when he's refusing to return a key is another.

@MrsSkylerWhite

oh & yes I've read the thread, just because you have a different opinion, doesn't make mine wrong.

sorry if you're offended, but it doesn't make my post offensive.

@MrsSkylerWhite it's irrelevant.

reporting abuse is one thing, involving the police when he's refusing to return a key is another.”

It isn’t, it’s further evidence of character, should it ever be needed.

Just to echo what others have said. Get the locks changed. Yes, I know it's a hassle finding a locksmith etc, and is an extra burden when you're already feeling fragile, but it's for your peace of mind.
Sometimes, the easiest way to solve a problem is with money.

As there is a history of abuse definitely log with the police on 101. It forms a pattern of abusive behaviour you may need to rely on in the future. What seems small and petty builds and builds. By logging it it can be used as evidence if necessary at a later date of either intent to harm, control (making you anxious he is going to come at any time) or even just the incurred cost of having them changed.

I agree log and change the barrel on your door lock - change any other locks that were on those keys too - if there is recent abuse and car keys were on there too then the Police do work with insurers to help get those changed too rather than paying the full whack out.

Think about speaking to a DV helpline to help you walk through everything and maybe assist in spotting things that are significant.

And for other posters DV doesn't have to be violent physically to be DV, small things can be what get a conviction over the line

100% change the locks. Even if he returned your key, who is to say he hasn't had a copy made. You'll always wonder whether he can come in without permission

Change the locks and tell him so. Let him know his last power trip has ended...

I would change the locks and get a ring doorbell so that you know if he approaches the house.

Agree @MrsSkylerWhite !! This is just an 'annoying idiot' ffs.

Yes, OP. Log it with police. Say you don't want action taken (pointless given he probably will have 'lost' them and could have made a copy anyway), but want this added to his lost of logged controlling behaviour.

I think many people don't understand how important the official (i.e. police) logging of events is essential.

ISN'T just an annoying idiot. * sorry. Crucial autocorrect there!!

I’m not sure what you’d report exactly. Presumably you gave him the keys when he moved in rather than he’s broken in and stolen the keys?
I’d personally completely ignore him, change the locks and let him keep the now useless keys. Take back your power!

OP hasn’t said anything about threats of harming her! The keys are his - she gave them to him. He hasn’t stolen them. Demanding that they are returned is a complete waste of time - as opposed to changing the locks which is what the police will tell her to do anyway.

This. Some people are so reliant on the state to nanny them instead of taking basic steps to look after themselves.change the locks!

The police will laugh
Just change the damn locks
And quick
So you can feel relaxed again

I changed locks and had chains put on external doors with my dv exh

Please choose a reputable locksmith and find out exactly how much you'll be paying before the work is done. Also pay by credit card if possible - you get extra consumer protection.

Police have better things to deal with and for the cost of a solicitors letter OP could probably change the locks for half the street.

Thats taking a sledgehammer to crack a nut.

If anyone has your keys for any amount of time they can copy them. Unless they are of the high security type that require a code.

Don't buy cheap eurocylinder locks like the ones shown earlier because they are easy to break. You should buy 3 star locks at a minimum.

Fitting them can be very easy, but you do need to measure up the lock first, as the eurocylinder ones have differing lengths.

You can save yourself a lot of money by not using a locksmith, and there was a thread on here a few weeks ago where someone was scammed by one. Check trustpilot at the very least first.

There are videos showing you how to replace them on youtube. It is normally very easy.

It’s evidence used to build a picture of abusive behaviour.

It all accumulates.

i had a friend in a similar situation but couldnt afford to change the locks so she swapped all the barrels round so when they tried the front door the key didnt work and they assumed that the locks had been changed

I presume you originally gave him the keys and that he didn't just take them. If this is the case the police can't get involved as they were a gift. Although you more likely meant he could use them whilst you lived together unless you said that he's not committed a crime.

For all of you who are pathetically incapable of understanding why this should be logged with police, this is an example of coercive control…

What is wrong with some people?!!!

To be clear when I say report to the police, I'm not expecting the police to go knocking down his door to get my key back. More just have it on the record as it's difficult to prove his mental abuse and control.

I will be changing the locks and looking into a ring doorbell

If you've already reported him to the police for domestic abuse, I'd call the non-emergency line and flag it, but if not, just change the locks and never engage with him again.

I bet he'll come round assuming he can let himself in and will kick off, at which point you can definitely phone the police!

Clever.

That wouldn't work for me because I have keyed alike barrels. The same key opens front and back. Which is brilliantly convenient.

Right up until the point you lose your keys ...