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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL’s perfume

30 replies

Garethkeenansstapler · 15/05/2023 15:18

I have an 8 week old baby that MIL loves to cuddle. The problem is she absolutely reeks of overpowering perfume. It’s really choking and every time she cuddles DS it’s no exaggeration to say he smells of perfume for days afterwards (seriously). He also comes out in a bit of a rash on his face where he lies on her upper chest (no idea if this is the perfume though, I suppose it could be her fabric softener or something).

I realise this is all a bit PFB but I just feel for DS as it’s really very strong and she likes to cuddle him so he is lying facing her with his face pressed into her chest/neck area.

I can’t say anything can I 😬

OP posts:
FortofPud · 15/05/2023 15:23

Could you tell her that unfortunately DSs skin seems to be reacting to female relatives cuddles and you're thinking it's probably down to perfume. You've stopped wearing it completely around him, and would she mind doing the same for anything other than a quick squeeze.

UsernameNotAvailableNow · 15/05/2023 15:24

I think you can actually,specifically about the rash. Phrase it as possible contact dermatitis and being careful of keeping his exposed skin away from strong perfumes and fabrics. Mention you're having to be careful with what you wash clothes in etc.

Then when she presses his face in, you can gently ask her not to because of his skin.

It won't alleviate it completely,but it will help.

I stopped wearing perfume completely when mine were young fir the same issue.

Cas112 · 15/05/2023 15:26

I think this is a new mum thing.. I hated anyone holding my baby with strong perfume on and I was actually gutted when he smelt like perfume and not his baby smell afterwards.

I think this is actually quite common, just maybe mention it to her but say it's happening with a few visitors so your asking everyone to not wear strong perfume just for any home visits for the first few months

Upanddownthemerrygoround · 15/05/2023 15:28

Still gutted that my newborn lost his newborn smell to my mum’s disgusting perfume at two days old. I’d ask her not to wear it.

MrsDoylesDoily · 15/05/2023 15:30

What do you mean you can't say anything?

It gives your baby a rash! The only question on my mind is why haven't you said anything?

It's not like you're asking her to stop wearing clothes Confused

MrsDoylesDoily · 15/05/2023 15:31

Just to clarify, I voted YABU because you haven't asked her to stop wearing it.

Original poster
Garethkeenansstapler · 15/05/2023 15:48

Oh phew I thought I was going to get the usual ‘we get it you hate your MIL’ treatment 😆 hmm, think I will let DH broach that one as MIL will just think I’m being dramatic. It isn’t just a couple of pumps she honestly smells like she’s been bathing in the stuff.

OP posts:
pokabubble · 15/05/2023 15:51

I had this. I had to say something in the end. It was too much. I just said baby was reacting to perfume so no one was wearing it while holding them. You can only use that excuse while they are young though by the time they are 3 you'll have to think of something else 😄

Original poster
Garethkeenansstapler · 15/05/2023 15:58

She was the same with DD, but I just held my tongue as she didn’t get a rash and it seemed PFB. But it’s so sad when their newborn smell is completely coated with white musk 😭

OP posts:
Sh4rkAttack · 15/05/2023 16:06

pokabubble · 15/05/2023 15:51

I had this. I had to say something in the end. It was too much. I just said baby was reacting to perfume so no one was wearing it while holding them. You can only use that excuse while they are young though by the time they are 3 you'll have to think of something else 😄

By the time they're 3 you might be able to rely on them to say 'poo - what's that smell?' all by themselves..

whoruntheworldgirls · 15/05/2023 16:07

I had to ask my mum to ditch her perfume for visiting as it clung to my daughter, she happily obliged.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 15/05/2023 16:21

My DS1 reacted badly and came out in blotches when tiny so I had the same issue Nobody minded
I was careful not to single anyone out and said we were all being careful
He's an adult now and still has sensitive skin

Lysianthus · 15/05/2023 16:46

Out of pure noseyness, may I ask what it is?! Unless it's outing Wink

Original poster
Garethkeenansstapler · 15/05/2023 16:48

Lysianthus · 15/05/2023 16:46

Out of pure noseyness, may I ask what it is?! Unless it's outing Wink

It smells very much like white musk from the body shop!

OP posts:
pokabubble · 15/05/2023 16:50

Sh4rkAttack · 15/05/2023 16:06

By the time they're 3 you might be able to rely on them to say 'poo - what's that smell?' all by themselves..

Show quote history

Good shout!

justaskingaquestion · 15/05/2023 16:53

I bet you any money it's Youth Dew. It bloody stinks and lingers forever!

Bluebells1970 · 15/05/2023 17:02

Just say the baby has had a rash and the HV has said it's something they're contacting with so can no one wear perfume/aftershave when they're visiting.

WickedSerious · 15/05/2023 17:07

Sh4rkAttack · 15/05/2023 16:06

By the time they're 3 you might be able to rely on them to say 'poo - what's that smell?' all by themselves..

Show quote history

'Your perfume smells like wee'.

AdaColeman · 15/05/2023 17:15

If you feel MIL will take it badly coming from you, then say the no perfume rule has been advised by the GP to prevent baby developing a serious skin condition.
That should work for anything you don't like MIL doing, just say GP or HV has forbidden it.

Bear Bear

Lysianthus · 15/05/2023 17:27

OP, you should see the other thread "Long lasting perfumes for under £30" - I suspect your MIL could advise Grin

StaunchMomma · 15/05/2023 20:44

Of course you can say something if your child is getting a rash!

It's literally your job to advocate for him!

Just tell her he his skin is reacting to anything perfumed so if she wants to have him lying on her/cuddling she needs to not wear perfume.

itsmylife7 · 15/05/2023 21:01

Has this woman no common sense ?
Surely it goes without saying don't put perfume on when cuddling babies

ladyofshertonabbas · 15/05/2023 21:04

Yanbu, it’s a common allergy to develop and a PITA. She needs to stop.

SchoolTripDrama · 15/05/2023 22:11

Sh4rkAttack · 15/05/2023 16:06

By the time they're 3 you might be able to rely on them to say 'poo - what's that smell?' all by themselves..

Show quote history

Oh god I can’t stand it when people say the word “poo” before asking what that smell is 🤢

Irridescantshimmmer · 15/05/2023 22:31

you may want to put something soft next to your babies' face which will act as a barrier to the perfume you MIL wears.

Like a soft cloth or something.

If she removes it when holding him, then you need to be having words with her because baby is reacting the chemicals in her perfume.