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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Annoyed with this comment?

34 replies

goingtoboo · 15/05/2023 12:39

A colleague asked what I was doing at the weekend and I said I’m going to Edinburgh to see my friend.

She responded that she keeps seeing me do nice things (on social media) and wondered where these friends had come from 😐

I’m nice to everyone at work, albeit a bit quiet but quiet people can still have friends. Maybe I’m being sensitive though as she’s made these kind of brash comments before.

OP posts:
OhComeOnFFS · 15/05/2023 12:41

What does she mean, where have all the friends come from? That's a really weird thing to say.

theGooHasGone · 15/05/2023 12:42

Tell her if she was nicer to people she could have friends too and walk away!

DucksNewburyport · 15/05/2023 12:43

How rude!

MillenialAvocado · 15/05/2023 12:45

Does she have many friends? She sounds a little jealous.

pecantoucan · 15/05/2023 12:46

Does she mean she was wondering how you know them? Or is she a nasty peice of work generally?

itsmylife7 · 15/05/2023 12:46

She's assuming you're a quiet little mouse person who sits at home alone.

She also sounds rude I'd never say anything like that.

You could always tell her you do pole dancing at the weekend 😁

MrsDoylesDoily · 15/05/2023 12:47

Does she just mean you haven't mentioned them in conversation?

WandaWonder · 15/05/2023 12:48

MillenialAvocado · 15/05/2023 12:45

Does she have many friends? She sounds a little jealous.

Sure I don't get the comment but every time someone says something odd or 'bad' the old 'they must be jealous' line comes out

I have to say it makes me think of children when that line is used

Op she could mean 101 things by it you could ask her what she meant?

Bathroomlove · 15/05/2023 12:48

Just say you met them all on FabSwingers.

BitOutOfPractice · 15/05/2023 12:49

I hope she meant to say “How lovely! Where do you know them from?” and it came out wrong? Or maybe she’s a snippy cow?

Ktime · 15/05/2023 12:50

Maybe she doesn't get up to much on the weekends and sees how much fun you are having on social media with friends and is a bit envious?

I wouldn't take it to heart.

jackstini · 15/05/2023 12:51

She might genuinely be wondering as she doesn't have many friends and wants ideas

Or she might be a snippy cow!

Either way just give an honest answer - 'Uni, previous job, our kids are friends, church, gym...'

Fernticket · 15/05/2023 12:51

Does she mean,where did you meet your friends originally, or did she sound as if she was having a dig at you.
Some people can be very resentful of other people who have a good social life.

watcherintherye · 15/05/2023 12:51

Yes, I would say she’s envious, and maybe genuinely doesn’t understand how people can retain friends from all the different phases of their lives, who might even live in other parts of the country! Perhaps she only socialises with people she knows locally or works with.

PuffinsRocks · 15/05/2023 12:54

God why is she stalking your social media? She needs to get a life.

DoingBugStuff · 15/05/2023 12:54

you’re being over sensitive

MillenialAvocado · 15/05/2023 12:58

@WandaWonder I said this because I learnt during years of therapy, that often when people make unpleasant comments it's a projection of their own issues. So yes, in my opinion she may (or may not) be envious of OP. I was just asking a question. Keep your rude and condescending remarks to yourself.

midsomermurderess · 15/05/2023 13:08

She sounds like a passive-aggressive twit. You have friends who want to see you, a good social life, don’t let this unpleasant, spiteful woman get under your skin. And perhaps you could limit who can see your social media. Who wants a person like her having a trawl through your life.

Shoxfordian · 15/05/2023 13:09

I’m going to Edinburgh this weekend too! Your friend sounds jealous of you

midsomermurderess · 15/05/2023 13:11

MillenialAvocado · 15/05/2023 12:58

@WandaWonder I said this because I learnt during years of therapy, that often when people make unpleasant comments it's a projection of their own issues. So yes, in my opinion she may (or may not) be envious of OP. I was just asking a question. Keep your rude and condescending remarks to yourself.

Projection is definitely thing. It is not the same as jealousy. I agree that ‘she sounds jealous’ is such a common reply on here it suggests a certain emotional immaturity, being almost the only emotion or motivation many people, women, can identify.

Booklover40 · 15/05/2023 13:11

Maybe she just means "where have you met all these people who live in different parts of the country"? As in, did you meet them online, at uni? I don't understand why this would upset you unless there is more to it and she's generally nasty?

CitizenofMoronia · 15/05/2023 13:15

Shes either jealous or thinks your faking it for social media lol either way I think that's hilarious, keep up the good work

Lurkingandlearning · 15/05/2023 13:23

I’d have liked to have said … “um …. Edinburgh”

I doubt I would’ve thought of that at the time

Iwrote · 15/05/2023 13:25

I've just said in my head "Ooh yes I've seen you on FB gallivanting and wondered where all these friends come from" and it really doesn't come out as mean. It's more "good on you having these mates all over the place and hopping off to see them".

Tellmeimcrazy · 15/05/2023 13:29

I don't think she meant it like that. I think she meant that you have really cool friends and where did you find them