To wonder if I actually have ADHD after all?

[FlipsFlops]

I was diagnosed with ADHD last year at a private clinic after getting nowhere with the NHS. I did a fair bit of research and went to a named psychiatrist who specialises in treating ADHD and went in with an open mind not necessarily expecting a diagnosis.

Somewhat to my surprise I was diagnosed very quickly (I'd filled in lots of very lengthy forms before my assessment and off the back of that was told I was a clear cut case), and strongly encouraged to try medication (I haven't yet).

It's taken a bit of courage to tell family and friends - some have been supportive, some a bit sceptical ("but you seem completely normal?" "yeah I've seen all those TikTok videos too").

I still struggle a bit accepting the diagnosis and am prone to beating myself up about it (it's not ADHD, I'm just lazy, don't try hard enough, etc...).

Then I've seen this BBC news report today about the "ADHD private diagnosis scandal" suggesting people are being diagnosed by private clinics who don't actually have ADHD.

ADHD: Private clinics exposed by BBC undercover investigation - BBC News

Have I just been taken in by all the TikTok nonsense (even though I don't use TikTok) and exploited by an industry trying to sell me expensive drugs?

Or do I have a genuine neurological condition that's being called into question by journalists looking to turn everything into a some kind of scandal?

I don't honestly know what to think any more.

A couple don't bother with the meds. They have used the diagnosis to apply for PIP and were open about it.

@RedToothBrush

I know we're not meant to say things like this, but it's distinctly possible that your son is average. I don't meant that in a bad way but if he's getting average results then that's where he's at. Not everyone's child can be the best at everything and it's not a neurological issue.

There a really interesting book called "Cracked" by James Davies, published in 2013. It pretty much predicted all of this and gives you a very insightful (if not frightening) understanding of how the DSM and subsequent editions were created. Let's just say that my primary school science projects had more evidence behind them.

This is my worry with getting shared care approved by my GP after I complete titration 🙁

It's much more likely that it's just having children means more responsibilities, more things to do, more things to organise, remember, consider and think about.

And thats a lot for anyone. But more so for someone with ADHD. It doesn't have to be a result of birth trauma.

Exactly.

And the whole point of ADHD is that it is lifelong. Symptoms must have been there since childhood. And continued into adult life, looking at your job history etc. Can’t fake the past!

Yes, and OP’s psychiatrist is surely trained in how to spot self-delusion and being ‘influenced’ by social media trends. She’s not going to prescribe medication willy nilly.

Then they’re just overall liars and scammers who would find any way if they could to get money from the government (and I’m surprised you know so many).

In order to get enough points to be approved for PIP, you have to say on your form and discuss with an assessor that you need help getting dressed and preparing the simplest of meals.

Rethink your friendship circle.

I'm a "bright with ADHD" and I did well as school. There are lots of reasons someone with ADHD gets A's at school, such as:

Interested in the subject- I loved maths and the sciences and I actively enjoyed learning about them, hence As
Responding well to imminent deadlines, so for certain subjects cramming for 72 prior works really well, especially combined with hyperfocus
Structure, there was a good structure at school for studying etc, so I had lots of external factors keeping me on track.
Fear of failure, and I mean terrifying all consuming fear of failure, is a very, very effective motivator

The NHS doesn't always get it right, and the waiting times are (as we'd all agree) scandalous. I asked our GP for support with my son so many times. I was asked one key question: can he sit and concentrate on anything other than TV. And my answer was yes, he can draw amazing artwork or create fantastic Lego structures for hours on end. He can teach himself any musical instrument and spend hours and hours learning chords. But he can't put his shoes on. He can't follow instructions (go upstairs and get ready for bed) without seeming to get lost midway through. He can't make it through a day at school without getting into trouble for lack of concentration. He can't organise and follow plans. He can't sequence or remember days of the week. He can't ignore his guitar in the corner and revise. He can't manage his time. He can't conceptualise how long it will take to get from a to b and plan accordingly. He can't multitask. He can't remember what he agreed to do. But, he is very bright and did okay-ish in school, and wasn't impulsive. I was told that doesn't look like ADHD.

I have now qualified in a related field and know we were let down, and that ADHD can look like my son. He is really really struggling now that he is in uni, and I'm not willing to wait several more years for the NHS diagnosis he should have received as a child. So we'll go private. Because sometimes there is no other choice!

I applied for PIP in 2020 with 20+ years of medical evidence (bipolar) and had taken a 4 month break between contracts due to illness. I scored zero.

I highly doubt people are getting PIP for ADHD.

@Notlostjustexploring - absolutely all of what you said goes for my DD too. She's bright and does really well, but is primarily driven by a huge fear of failure, not least because she's at an 'academic' school.

His teacher is saying he is not average. He clearly has knowledge and ability above what he can get onto paper. She just can't tick the boxes she has to to demonstrate it for assessment purposes and she's admitted this is frustrating for her too.

Every adult who comes across him is saying he's exceptionally bright. Weirdly so.

His friend and their parents are starting to notice it. We've had comments. Sometimes this is really awkward.

It's really NOT a parent thing going on.

He missed getting exceptional on his SATs papers by a few marks by all accounts.

I was diagnosed with ADHD in the late 1990s (at the time they didn’t think it existed in girls!) obviously I still have it today but apart from DH no one would guess I have it as I am very adept at masking.

You can funnel the traits into something decent, even unmedicated.

I'm still terrible at admin but in a high paid job because I generally function better with stress.

I dropped out of school at 16 and dropped out of a postgrad later. Couldn't handle coursework or low contact hours.

I need things to be fast paced and change jobs every year - self-employed.

My sister was also diagnosed in the late 80's/early 90's when it was very difficult indeed to get a diagnosis. The lengths my parents had to go to in order to get that diagnosis were incredible; it was a years long process. Based on that, my DM does not believe I could possibly have ADHD myself, despite a diagnosis in adulthood.

My daughter had ADHD assessed privately after the school suggested it. The psychiatrist said something interesting- he said that one of the best ways of diagnosing ADHD was seeing the effect the meds had. If you don't have ADHD it's actually not that big an impact. If you do it it can be life changing. DD cried after the first week on them as everything was just so much easier- she was focused in lessons, no zoning out, just able to concentrate. She cried because she'd been feeling dreadful about being "lazy" and "disorganised" and "thoughtless" - the meds made her realise that life was so much easier for people without ADHD and that it wasn't her fault.

Interesting to see the different types of assessment and threshold with private and NHS, and the link to trauma.

My DH has been on the waiting list for an ADHD assessment for years, he also has trauma and PTSD.

He has a psychiatrist who has started the assessment with discussions and observations with my DH and family followed by the questionnaire. The psychiatrist is of the opinion that he clearly has ADHD.

However he also has a consultant psychologist who is of the opinion that they need to address his trauma and PTSD as the symptoms can be similar.
The main difference though is that for his NHS assessment there needs to be evidence from childhood and the appointment for diagnosis has to be carried out by a specialist, who will look at medical history and consider other diagnoses which may prevent the use of medication. Then there will be blood tests before trialling medication.

It's a long process and certainly can't be done by self reporting on the NHS. I can't see how a zoom meeting would be enough to make a diagnosis. I watched the Sam Thompson programme last week and was amazed that the psychiatrist diagnosed him after meeting him for an hour. She also said he has some ASD traits and he later declares that he has autism.

I haven't been privately assessed as I can't afford it, though I'm sure I have it. But in my area they won't even refer adults on for NHS assessment. The scandal is that people are forced to go private.

I’d query that simply because not all drugs work on everyone. That’s why there are different drugs and different regimes for them.

My question for you would be did you have trouble with focus and application at school? If your issues are lifelong then I would say the diagnosis is likely accurate.
But if they've only arrived in mid life, could it not just be complete overwhelm? The amount working women with children are expected to just absorb and handle is of course causing complete brain malfunction. We literally can't stay on top of it all without being poorly focused and dropping balls.

I also think this. If so many people are neurodivergent it's not divergence anymore it's just a personality trope?

Child diagnosis is very different.

A lot of adults seem to be diagnosed recently despite reporting zero issues in childhood and during their school/college/uni learning journeys.

@RedToothBrush

But isn't that the point? He is missing the mark? (Sorry if it's a she, from your post I'm not sure if I made a mistake). I also think the label 'bright' is so meaningless, is it someone who shows interest, is really enthusiastic, can do well sometimes? Or is it someone who got 4 As at A-level in hard subjects? The reality is that the real world goes on results. That's not unfair. In the 100m sprint, it's the person with the fastest time who wins, not someone who showed promise.

To be good at something or excel or being exceptional you need the results. I.e. it all needa to come together to get the high marks or win. There's probably a subject or interest out there that he will be the best at, but surely him being average at school isn't the end of the world?

I was absolutely terrified of getting told off and getting detentions. Like totally petrified. I was well behaved.

But I definitely did the minimum I could at school, but could just walk into the exam and answer all the questions because I remember things after reading them once. School was easy.

The self discipline of self study I found difficult and only really started being able to do it in my third year at uni.

@RedToothBrush children may well be 'average', and not nd. But, ADHD can really inhibit people from reaching their potential.

I have similar with my son - very intelligent, very talented, likely to fail his degree. 'average' would be easier tbh