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Original poster

To feel so guilty (DD injury)

48 replies

Moonandme123 · 14/05/2023 20:28

I feel sick with guilt.
We were with my parents in a pub garden with DC playing DD (9) jumped down from the monkey bars, fell straight onto her wrist. She cried and came over to us then asked to go home so we started packing up. She then got upset and said she wanted to stay but sit at the table to talk to grandparents. We stayed for a bit longer and eventually DD got up to play with her brother but held her arm. It wasn’t swollen and we took her home and gave her some nurofen. She had a good nights sleep but woke up and didn’t want to use it so I took her to hospital and she has broken her elbow. I feel awful.
The nurse said I should have been underneath the monkey bars and I feel bad as DD at 9 doesn’t want her mum underneath her at the monkey bars and is competent.
I feel so sick with guilt. Please tell me someone else has misjudged an injury? DD is dramatic about every injury which makes it hard to gauge. Feel so awful.

OP posts:
bloodywhitecat · 14/05/2023 20:31

I don't think 9 year olds need their adult underneath them on play equipment, the nurse is wrong there. DD still could've had the same fall except she would've injured you too. You did nothing wrong.

Fandangoes · 14/05/2023 20:32

My daughter also broke her arm falling off monkey bars. It was less than a year after she had broken her other arm falling from the top of a fireman’s pole in a play park! She was always well looked after I promise - accidents happen

FortofPud · 14/05/2023 20:32

I wouldn't be underneath to catch my 9 yr old either so don't feel bad. A 5 yr old who was unsure of themselves, definitely, but not at 9. It was just an unfortunate accident and you went by her cues as to when to get it looked at, really no guilt trip needed. Flowers

Coasterfan · 14/05/2023 20:35

Exactly the same thing happened to us with DS, a few years ago, he was a similar age too. He was also fine with pain relief and slept well afterwards, it was nt until the next day it was swollen and he was complaining of pain so we went to A and E and he had broken his elbow.I felt awful too but accidents do happen, don’t be too hard on yourself and I hope she makes a quick recovery!

Badgerandfox227 · 14/05/2023 20:35

I am a very cautious mom but I wouldn’t be underneath my child at that age, and not a couple of years earlier either. The nurse is wrong for saying that to you, it’s not your fault, these things happen.

ExtraOnions · 14/05/2023 20:37

My daughter was 7 when she fell off the Monkey Bars at school, and broken both bones in her arm. It was an accident, nobody was to blame… it just one of those thing.

HollyGolightly4 · 14/05/2023 20:38

My parents refused to take me to the hospital and turned out I'd broken my ankle..I didn't hold it against them, although it does still get brought up now (jokingly!!)

Being underneath seems unreasonable - what if she'd fallen on you and you couldn't drive for example!

MakesMeFeelSad · 14/05/2023 20:38

The nurse is being ridiculous and I'd have told them that

Accidents happen, don't be hard on yourself. You definitely didn't need to be hanging around under the monkey bars at that age

PollyPeptide · 14/05/2023 20:39

The nurse is talking rubbish. A 9yo doesn't need to have someone under them. It was just an accident. It could have happened if she just been running round playing and fallen over. Accidents happen.

glitterisntgendered · 14/05/2023 20:40

Yeah I'm a massively anxious mum and even I wouldn't be under the monkey bars when they're 9!! Nurse is very wrong

CaroleSinger · 14/05/2023 20:40

Don't beat yourself up. When I was 9 I broke my wrist. I kept telling my mum and dad something wasn't right but they thought I was just trying to get out of school. I wasn't taken to hospital for almost a week when it was obvious I couldn't hold anything.

Missingthecat · 14/05/2023 20:41

My then 7yo DC fell from moneky bars and fractured a rib, they were on the park with Beavers who did not have an adult underneath the bars to catch the kids.

It happens, I know it's scary and you feel bad but it could have happened anywhere.

LysHastighed · 14/05/2023 20:41

The nurse is ridiculous. I don’t stand underneath my five year old, though I did last year. Often when you get in the way of them when they are doing stuff like this they seem to fall and hurt themselves more often, not less.

nannyl · 14/05/2023 20:42

YABU to feel so very guilty

My DD also broke herself (wrist) falling off the monkey bars/

She was 7 (and a few days, literally only just 7)

I was not underneath her, and it took me until the afternoon to decide she needed to go to hospital. She has been monkey bar-ing herself without me there to catch for years by this point too!

Children do things like this.

IMO hovering around primary school age children at a playpark is unreasonable... you cant be there to catch them whenever they fall forever....

Hope your DD is better soon. Mine was fine 4 weeks later

My DD is 9 now and it still wont cross my mind to be under her when shes doing monkey bars!

Nurse was being unreasonable to "blame" you. A 9 year old playing on a play park is normal

PollyPeptide · 14/05/2023 20:43

HollyGolightly4 · 14/05/2023 20:38

My parents refused to take me to the hospital and turned out I'd broken my ankle..I didn't hold it against them, although it does still get brought up now (jokingly!!)

Being underneath seems unreasonable - what if she'd fallen on you and you couldn't drive for example!

Haha. This happened to my next door neighbour when I was a child. My best friends brother was about 16, been playing football and hurt his leg. He kept saying how much it hurt but his mum told him to stop moaning. Eventually, a couple of days later, she took him to hospital to shut him up. He had a broken leg.
We were tough in those days!

notsurewherenotsurewhy · 14/05/2023 20:46

Nurse was both stupid (wrong) and unkind to say that.

My 11yo can't do the monkey bars but if he wanted to try, I'd not be underneath. My 5yo is trying to learn - in fact just today I helped her across once and then sat some distance away while she kept gamely trying and dropping down (onto her feet!). It was fine. Parents hover too much in playgrounds as it is.

I hope your DD is much better soon, and I hope that as the shock fades you can be kinder to yourself. It wasn't your fault at all. Flowers

EscapeRoomToTheSun · 14/05/2023 20:46

Massive respect to nurses but their job is nursing, not childcare or risk assessment.

Wishitsnows · 14/05/2023 20:47

nurse is completely wrong. Of course you don’t spot a child of 9 on money bars. He/she sounds ridiculous

CazM2012 · 14/05/2023 20:48

My 9 year old is only about 3 inches shorter than me no way would I be standing under her on the monkey bars!
don’t worry it happens in one way or another to parents, my DS broke his nose as a toddler and we didn’t realise till the next day, he barely made a fuss.

TheFairyCaravan · 14/05/2023 20:50

I wouldn’t have been standing under the monkey bars when my children were 9.

When DS2 was 5 he was playing football, with DS1, outside our apartment when we were on holiday in Cyprus. He went over on his ankle on the uneven grass but he was a drama queen so I ignored the fuss he made, and we put him to bed with some calpol and elevated his foot. The next morning he woke up with a very swollen, bruised leg so we took him to the hospital to find out it was broken.

Fast forward a good few years and he became an A&E nurse. Every time a parent came in with a child who’d had an accident, and they said they felt guilty, he’d tell them that story. 🙄

He would have never have said you should have been standing under the monkey bars, for a 9yo. He was doing all sorts of things that he probably shouldn’t have been at that age and he knows that parents can’t have eyes in the back of their heads. The nurse was being absolutely ridiculous.

Boomboom22 · 14/05/2023 20:53

I don't think you'd fit under a 9yr old! 4 or 5 yes. Assume she doesn't have kids, silly nurse. Ridiculous comment and totally unrealistic, not to mention dangerous. A stray foot would have your eye out!

NoKnit · 14/05/2023 20:53

Good grief I have a 9 year old. If I was underneath when he fell off monkey bars I would probably come out worse and let's face it that would cost more hospital time, potential sick leave etc.

I don't stand underneath my 7 year old either never have and he has been aber to do monkey bars since he was 4 🤷‍♂️

Mariposista · 14/05/2023 20:56

Sorry but that is a horrible thing for the nurse to say. Your older kid is on age appropriate play equipment. Unfortunately she had an accident. It’s in no way your fault, or hers, these things just happen.
David Lloyd gyms have monkey bars. Should I not go on them without someone standing underneath? Because I am probably way less competent on them as a 30+ woman than most 9 yo featherweight kids!
Put it out of your mind! Hope kid is ok.

ILoveToSquanderPromise · 14/05/2023 20:56

When DS broke his arm the ortho guy just looked at him and said "let me guess - monkey bars or trampoline?" then looked at the xray and said "trampoline!"

MrsMitford3 · 14/05/2023 20:58

My DD broke her elbow about that age.
She fell off the mats at the end of a bouncy castle.

We were at DS's school and the Matron said she was fine.
Took her home and did nothing.
Went to hospital next day as it was def looked broken.
It was broken.

She is 22 now and may forgive me eventually 😂

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