To feel so guilty (DD injury)

[Moonandme123]

I feel sick with guilt.
We were with my parents in a pub garden with DC playing DD (9) jumped down from the monkey bars, fell straight onto her wrist. She cried and came over to us then asked to go home so we started packing up. She then got upset and said she wanted to stay but sit at the table to talk to grandparents. We stayed for a bit longer and eventually DD got up to play with her brother but held her arm. It wasn’t swollen and we took her home and gave her some nurofen. She had a good nights sleep but woke up and didn’t want to use it so I took her to hospital and she has broken her elbow. I feel awful.
The nurse said I should have been underneath the monkey bars and I feel bad as DD at 9 doesn’t want her mum underneath her at the monkey bars and is competent.
I feel so sick with guilt. Please tell me someone else has misjudged an injury? DD is dramatic about every injury which makes it hard to gauge. Feel so awful.

Risky play is important at every age and sometimes kids get hurt and sometimes they don't. You did absolutely nothing wrong. The nurse definitely shouldn't have said what she said and playgrounds are a million times safer than they used to be. I hope your DD feels better soon and gets back on the monkey bars.

Oh ffs (to the nurse). Nobody stands underneath their 9 year old while they are doing the monkey bars. Imagine how embarrassed they would be. You probably wouldn't be able to catch them properly at that age anyway.

My daughter fell off a climbing frame on her 9th birthday. Fractured her elbow. It was a few hours before we took her to hospital as it wasn't 'obvious' until the swelling really started.

E@Moonandme123 the nurse was rude, over stepping & unkind... not to mention wrong!!

you don't stand under the Monkey Bars for 9 year olds FFS.

in the dark ages, we had monkey bars at school. On the concrete! We'd spin & spin & spin on the bars, god help anyone trying to stand underneath.

now I'll stand underneath until they're able to get from the ladder to the bars by themselves & I'll run over (ok waddle) if they call out to be lifted down, but I'm not standing underneath to get kicked in the face!!

best wishes for a speedy recovery!!

Don't feel bad. My sister broke her wrist when she was 9 and my mum didn't take her to hospital until two days later. I sprained my wrist at school when I was 7 and only went to hospital the next day as school thought it looked swollen.
And I only found out two weeks ago that my DD had broken her toe at some point (she was having an xray for something unrelated). They don't do anything for broken toes but I feel awful that I obviously didn't notice at the time.
And why on earth would you be under your 9 year old on the monkey bars? It wouldn't even occur to me to do that.

Stupid comment from nurse - children do fracture themselves very frequently on monkey bars though so it’s probably said in frustration after a long shift. Ignore - accidents happen. I know at least 3 parents who couldn’t spot their kids had broken their arms because it’s really hard to tell with the naked eye and takes some time observing.

I broke my elbow last year (at 37 weeks pregnant, slipping over in a pile of horse poo 🤦) and that evening it was sore but pretty much ok. Wasn't until the next day that I thought it might be something more and went to A and E. So no reason to think you should've stopped it happening given her age or realised it was actually broken before you did.

How does this nurse think school staff individually supervise 210+ 5-11 year olds on monkey bars at break time?

My 9 year old recently broke her wrist falling off monkey bars. Thankfully no one suggested I should have been hovering underneath her! Accidents happen OP, it’s no one’s fault. Hope your daughter heals quickly.

I fractured my elbow in the reception playground at school.

I’m the teacher 😂.

Yes my dd broke her arm falling off the monkey bars. It wasn’t obviously injured. I only took her to a&e the following day just to check fully expecting them to say it was fine. Cried my eyes out when the nurse said it was broke. Felt so guilty. In my defence she fell onto a sandy beach and was moving it fine. My friend who was with us when she fell is a nurse didn’t think it was broken either

😂 Hope you’re all better now.

Accidents happen, OP. I wouldn’t have been helicoptering around a 9 year old, either.

What a stupid suggestion; it's more likely to result in both of you being injured!

I had to rescue DS when he was 5. He confidently climbed on to the equipment then couldn't reach the next bar or back to return. I stood under him and got him to drop on to my shoulders. I felt a clunk but no pain and thought "I'm going to regret that..." I did indeed... I ended up with a niggling soft tissue injury that took two years to settle down properly. At 10, he's much bigger so it's less of a drop for him, and would do me considerably more damage.

We obviously don't want our children to get injured, but to aim to prevent all risk is stiffling and has more harm than benefits. An active childhood is important for physical and mental health.

My mum took me to hospital with a broken ankle when I was 11 ( I knew it was broken because I’d heard it break). The dr refused to X-ray it because I was ‘too happy to have a broken leg’ so my mum decided I was lying and took me home. It was another 2 days before she agreed to get a second opinion and found out my ankle was broken in 2 places. I did forgive her in the end!

I wouldn’t be hovering under the monkey bars for. 9 year old either. I’m guessing the nurse probably didn’t have children of her own.

Not monkey bars but DD once broke her elbow making a slide on ice. She didn’t seem in pain so I thought she was fine. Sent her off to school the next day and Pe teacher spotted it was broken. I felt terrible. Even worse for DH as he was a teacher at the school, but at least he was there to take her to hospital.

I took my son and his friend to the pictures and stopped off at the park first. He fell of a zip wire thing and said he’d hurt his arm….but still wanted to go to the pictures. So I took him. Turns out- fractured elbow! Friends mum was very kind about it though!

Goodness what a silly thing to say. Children, especially older ones need space to explore and occasionally they’ll get hurt. It happens.

I sent DS to school with a very sore thumb after trapping it in a door. The nurse rang me during the day to say he really needed an X-ray. It was broken.

The nurse has no business making a comment like that

The nurse was harsh. My friend’s dd did this same injury at school aged 9. Do you think there are teachers standing underneath monkey bars? Of course not. It was an accident, your dd was doing a normal thing. You have nothing to feel guilty about. The nurse was silly.

She could still have fallen off the monkey bars onto you breaking her elbow and possibly your arm/ leg/ whatever. Perhaps the nurse expected you to drag a mattress to the play area ?
Accidents happen. Bones heal, she’ll be fine.

Don't beat yourself up about that stupid nurse's remark, my son was taller than me at 9 and there is no way that I would have stood beneath him , even if he would have let me.

Kids break bones, it happens. One of mine fell off a chair, while sitting on it and broke his elbow. 🤦‍♀️

Don't feel guilty! The fact she was so eager to spend more time with her family and grandparents after having an injury shows how safe and loved she feels amongst you all. As you can see from PPs, it's not always obvious, even to adults when they've broken bones themselves. I broke my first bone in my late 30s and ummed and ahhd for a good 24 hours before seeking medical attention, as I assumed it would be more obvious and painful.