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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What age to leave a sensible child at home alone?

47 replies

ChiChaNaYubi · 14/05/2023 12:45

If you have a sensible child, what age would you leave them home alone for up to an hour when you’re around 10 minutes away? Child would have access to a mobile phone and trusted friendly neighbours on either side.

OP posts:
ChannelyourinnerElsa · 14/05/2023 12:45

My 9 year old is happy to do this.

DIYandEatCake · 14/05/2023 12:46

We started doing this with dd when she was 11, knew how to use a phone and was getting herself to and from school independently.

YourWinter · 14/05/2023 12:46

Around 11.

Groovy48592747 · 14/05/2023 12:47

I've been able to leave mine aged 11, nearly 12 for up to half an hour in the day, while I pop to the local shop. Sensible child with phone, knows not to answer the door. Outdoor security cameras/doorbell and good neighbours!

underneaththeash · 14/05/2023 12:48

11 here too. (that's when we left all of mine alone for an hour). I built up from a few minutes to that over the course of year 6.

PuttingDownRoots · 14/05/2023 12:48

I did from 10 and in Yr6 (in England).

I have left my 9yo with her sister (11yo) for 15mins, they will be home alone for 2hrs from September when they are 10&12.

Showmethefood · 14/05/2023 12:48

Mine was 12. With access to contact myself and other family members :)

Marblessolveeverything · 14/05/2023 12:48

In Ireland Tusla (Child services) advice is over 14. Typically I would say secondary which would be 13 here.

CadburyDream · 14/05/2023 12:49

My 9 year old won’t come shopping anymore so he stays home for an hour. I wouldn’t tell anyone irl though. He has access to a phone

Coffeaddict · 14/05/2023 12:50

We did this with DSS from 10 for an hour or so at a time. Now 11 can stay in for a whole morning / afternoon on his own

ConsuelaHammock · 14/05/2023 12:50

10 ish but I was at work which was a 3 minute drive away .

Original poster
ChiChaNaYubi · 14/05/2023 12:52

Thanks all. She’s 9, nearly 10. She’s very end of august birthday so when she starts secondary school she will have only been 12 for a week. We want to get her used to being alone a little bit more as when she starts secondary she will be getting the bus alone, coming home to an empty house etc for an hour. She also just really hates coming shopping or soft play with her baby brother! I was taking to my husband about it who reckons it’s fine but I wasn’t so sure.

OP posts:
DrHousecuredme · 14/05/2023 13:20

I left my 8 year old for 5-10 mins whilst I popped to a local shop.
We've worked up to being occasionally left for half an hour when I'm in the local area and he's 10.
What you're suggesting, probably when he starts secondary school.

LilyLemonade · 14/05/2023 13:22

About 9 or 10 if the child is ok with it.

Mumof1andacat · 14/05/2023 13:37

I would say from 11. That's my plan with ds as from year 7 he will need to walk home from school and be at home until 5pm as that's when we get in from work.

Garethkeenansstapler · 14/05/2023 13:39

Secondary school I would say, 11 onwards. I would leave a 14/15 year old for a morning or afternoon, maybe a day if they were very sensible. Overnights at 16.

Tayegete · 14/05/2023 13:51

We did it year 6 to get them ready for secondary school.

Anoisagusaris · 14/05/2023 13:59

Marblessolveeverything · 14/05/2023 12:48

In Ireland Tusla (Child services) advice is over 14. Typically I would say secondary which would be 13 here.

That guidance says they shouldn’t be left at home alone for more than a very short time. An hour could be considered a very short time. It’s different to leaving a child alone all day or over night.

Blondey2023 · 14/05/2023 14:03

8 and 9 year olds left home alone? Wow. Not good. Do they answer the door if someone knocks? Would they know what to do in the event of a fire or flood? Leaving a child alone that young is irresponsible in my opinion.

Blondey2023 · 14/05/2023 14:04

CadburyDream · 14/05/2023 12:49

My 9 year old won’t come shopping anymore so he stays home for an hour. I wouldn’t tell anyone irl though. He has access to a phone

The fact that you say you won't tell anyone in real life means you know this is not ok

CadburyDream · 14/05/2023 14:06

Blondey2023 · 14/05/2023 14:04

The fact that you say you won't tell anyone in real life means you know this is not ok

Show quote history

I don't tell people due to judgey people no he doesn't answer the door and I have a ring door bell so if anyone knocks I will know about it. The law is on my side there is no legal age.

Grimbelina · 14/05/2023 14:06

Secondary. Building up to it in year 6 with getting a mobile etc.

Marblessolveeverything · 14/05/2023 14:07

@Anoisagusaris in my opinion 10 minutes would be a very short time. Interpretation is in the eye of the beholder. Which makes this query always contentious.

PuttingDownRoots · 14/05/2023 14:14

3 years ago I was slated by some people for taking my just 7&8yos with me to the supermarket with me.... apparently I should have left them playing on the village green alone or left them at home for the two hours it would have taken.

Now I'm judged for leaving the same 7yo, now just 10, at home instead of taking her to the corner shop with me....

Whattodo121 · 14/05/2023 14:20

Ds is 11 and I’ll leave him at home for up to a couple of hours max if I’m doing something particularly boring like meeting a friend locally for coffee 🤣 he also sometimes gets dropped off home by one of his friends and lets himself in to wait for me if there’s no space in after school club. From September he’ll be in secondary school and making his own way to and from so we’re currently working on independence gradually. This afternoon his friend got dropped off here, they’ve cycled to the park and had a play around and then cycled together back to the friends house then we’ll collect him later.