What age to leave a sensible child at home alone?

[ChiChaNaYubi]

If you have a sensible child, what age would you leave them home alone for up to an hour when you’re around 10 minutes away? Child would have access to a mobile phone and trusted friendly neighbours on either side.

Year 6 seems normal here. A lot then have keys to leave/arrive home around school hours.

10yo DS can be safely left for 30/40 mins while I'm on a dog walk if he doesn't want to come. He's sensible and he can call me from his iPad if needed. I'd only ever be within ten to fifteen minutes away.

Eldest from age 10 onwards, she's 12 now and is quite used to it so can pick and choose if she wants to come out with me and would be fine on her own all day. Youngest is 8 and is fine being left with her sister, if she's out playing and sister is out and I need to go to the shops or something I just tell her and she stays out (multiple neighbours / friend's houses they could go to if there were issues though and about 5 different relatives within a 10 min walk / 2 min drive so short of a nuclear accident - in which case we're all fucked - I'm pretty sure they'd be fine).

I leave the 9 year old for 45 minutes whilst I take the other children out. I’ve also left the 8 and 9 year old together for ten minutes whilst nipping out.

But it’s a on a case by case basis. I know my children won’t answer the door and aren’t silly.

We left DS1 aged nearly 10 to drop DS2 to Beavers (15 minute round trip). With strict instructions on how to use the landline and to simply walk out of the house and stand in the front garden if anything untoward happened. He’s now happy (at 10.5) to be left for half an hour or so. I feel much safer doing that than letting him ‘play out’ where I’ve seen endless dangerous behaviour from the few of his peers who are allowed out alone!

Depending on the child, from about 9/10 I would start leaving them at home alone for short periods.
At that age they understand fully well the concept of not opening the door to strangers. And what to do in case of an emergency (you can leave them numbers to call).

I was left overnight for the first time aged 14, and it was fine. It was a one off, at the time. But by age 16 my brother and I basically lived alone at weekends, as my mom and stepdad were conducting a study 3h away, every weekend.
Obviously, we had loads of family checking on us, and feeding us, my dad included!

10.5 here left for about 1/2 an hour on occasion. Very recently started, a few weeks ago. Depends on the child I think!

I have a middle school system where we are so my 9yo will be walking a mile to school with friends from September. We've just stated leaving her for 10 mins when I pick her sister up from town occasionally and she went to the corner shop to buy bread for the first time today (5 mins). I would expect to leave her for up to 30 mins until shes 10.

Secondary age of they are very sensible. My 12 year old is not sensible at all and at this rate I won't ever be leaving him!

Mine walked home from school by themselves and were at home until I got back from when they were 7 going on 8. The youngest is now 12 and is on his way home by himself from visiting his cousins a 2.5 hour train journey away. But we are not in the UK.

Here it's quite common to see 9/10 year olds commuting to school on the tube. A colleague used to take the bus to kindergarten by himself, though that was 65 years ago and is now told as funny story because considered a bit extreme.

And presumably those same children are going to and from school on their own etc. so 14 is completely nuts advice.

My personal cut off was 10 (Year 6) and for no more than 2 hours. If more than that, which is rare, I get MIL to pop in over that period.

Around 11. I left my dc for shorter periods from around 9.

I am now mid forties and remember being 13 and I went on a cross channel ferry on my own to meet my French exchange student (we met the previous year and arranged to meet again the following summer). Our mums talked on the phone (my mum in v bad French) and they said they'd be there to meet me, so off I went.

I think both of mine were 11. Started with me nipping to the supermarket for half an hour. They had a phone and were told not to answer the door if anyone knocked.

Your child will be fine. I have a sensible child, who definitely could be on their own for a bit in year 6. In year 7, very independent, could stay home alone for longer. Knew not to answer the door, but we also have a camera front door bell. Also had a phone and was told to call immediately if any problems. We also have helpful neighbours! Law is on your side as a pp said!

Not in the UK. My DD started walking home from school alone at 7, and I would leave her alone for up to an hour or so from maybe 7-8. It really depends on the child though. We do live in an apartment block with security.

Year 6 ish. Depends very much on child.

From year 5 for DS, he’s September born so was nearly 10 and very happy to be left, DD wouldn’t stay alone until secondary and that was fine it just meant she had to come to football training and football matches with us!

We live on the world’s most boring cul de sac and there are three sets of neighbours they d be happy to knock on if there was a problem. He also had WhatsApp on his iPod as he didn’t have a mobile but i was able to contact him. It does depend on the child and I d say the area to an extent the fact it’s so boring and quiet here did help the decision!

Thanks all we’re going to trial some time next week as I have a week off from work. She’s going to walk home alone from school and let herself in (I will be home but I want to make sure she can us me the key). I’m also going to pop out for half an hour and leave her. She won’t look up from Minecraft the whole time and will probably not even notice I’m not there 🤣

Ten minutes by car or on foot? It makes a difference.
What would she be expected to do in the event of an emergency? Does she know?
How can she contact you and vice versa?
Could you drop what you're doing and return to her immediately if necessary?
Is she OK with it (not just because she hates going to the shops or soft play, neither if which are 10 minute trips by the way)?
Is this just because you can't be doing with arguing with her everytime she doesn't want to go somewhere? That's not a reason at age 9, she has to do as she's told, and unfortunately you have to deal with her resistance.

I wouldn't factor in 'getting her used to' being more independent by leaving her alone, it's 2 years until she starts secondary school, plenty of time for that.

Mine is 10. We don't leave him at home alone. It isn't about whether he's sensible or not, we think he's too young, I think it's irresponsible and no matter how much he doesn't want to do something, it's just not necessary. Besides, we'd likely come home to a house full of kids as his friends are always at the door for him to play!
He can play out at the park or friends' houses when someone is at home though, so he has some 'independence'. But I think him playing out is very different to us going out and leaving him at home alone.
The most we'll do is let him play at the park with friends while the dogs are walked. We're always nearby, tell him exactly where we'll be and are contactable by phone.

I think the test of whether you really think it's ok is whether you'd be happy to tell others if asked. If not, then you shouldn't be leaving her alone.

9

I started leaving my son for short periods in year 5 (9-10) started off with me taking the dog for a quick walk around the block and built from that. If she's sensible it will be fine. Start with popping to a local shop and build up to an hour. At 13 now I would be happy to leave him for a few hours if I'm staying local.
Left with very clear instructions not to answer the door etc.