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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or over sensitive re comments about PT work?

138 replies

Bluerossettes · 14/05/2023 07:49

I work three days a week, Monday - Wednesday. And I’m getting so much grief about it at work it’s really putting me off mentioning anything about it at all and in fact I try not to but sometimes I do have to, if only to remind people I can’t do something as I won’t be here.

I get some quite nasty comments about ‘lucky me’ and some groans and eye rolls about huh yeah, see you next week then.

Generally it isn’t a happy place at the moment for all sorts of reasons but it’s getting a bit much now. I have tried pointing out (in a ‘nice’ way) that part time is an option to everybody and also that I’m spending my days off with preschool children - they really aren’t relaxing days off at all! - but to no avail.

Is it worth saying something? I don’t want to come across badly but I do think I’ve been targeted a bit.

OP posts:
pd339 · 14/05/2023 07:51

I don't see what you'd achieve by saying anything - just sounds like they're rather jealous. I'd just ignore it personally and think, yeah, I am indeed lucky :)

FatCatSkinnyRat · 14/05/2023 07:53

I am also part time - 0.5 FTE. I often get comments on it too, esp now my kids are teenagers and mostly self reliant.

To snarky comments about how lucky I am, I say "Don't forget I only get half the pay"

Motnight · 14/05/2023 07:55

I have had similar in the past. I shut it down by saying 'you do realise that I get paid a part time wage'. As far as I was concerned I was no 'luckier' than my colleagues.

Iwrote · 14/05/2023 07:55

I used to work with a few horrible bitchy women who would make comments about my part time work. I tried stating I only received half pay, I was busy with small children etc.
In the end I got so fed up I'd just breeze out and when they started bitching say "Oh I know, part time reeeeaaally is the best, you should try it!".
They were bitter bitches, there was no way to win them round.

Purpleturtle45 · 14/05/2023 07:56

I wouldn't say you are 'lucky' to be working part time. I work part time and if anyone says that to me I just say 'not so lucky when the wages come in'. I don't care what anyone else thinks though, you do what's right for you and your family. My kids are all at school now and I have no intentions of going full time yet, feel like I am finally getting some time to myself after 10 years of having young kids at home so will enjoy it (probably until my fixed
mortgage rate ends 🙈).

TheBitchOfTheVicar · 14/05/2023 07:56

Motnight · 14/05/2023 07:55

I have had similar in the past. I shut it down by saying 'you do realise that I get paid a part time wage'. As far as I was concerned I was no 'luckier' than my colleagues.

I said this and instantly got the response 'you can't have it both ways!'

Yes I know dickhead, but I wasn't the one complaining about it!

notteallyme · 14/05/2023 08:01

I think some people might be bitter because they couldn't afford to do go part time? Do they feel like there is a cost to them of others being part time? I would have liked to go part time before I did though didn't begrudge those who could. Others are just prats.

I used to get the same and comments about my days off like I was on holiday every week. On my two days 'off' I had my young DC and my doubly incontinent, memory impaired mother to look after. On the flip side I did feel like I was coming back to work every week after being on holiday and having to catch up which wasn't nice either.

EsmeSusanOgg · 14/05/2023 08:01

When I worked PT, I found I ended up still having a FT workload but with less pay and less time to get stuff done. I've since gone back to FT, because stuff that - post Covid and a more flexible employer do mean I can WFH a lot (ditto DH) which means school pick-ups/ drop-off can be more easily handled.

If OP is getting lots of nasty, hostile comments it may be worth noting it with their boss/ HR. No need to say anything more directly if people are being openly hostile.

Doingmybest12 · 14/05/2023 08:02

I worked part time for many years. But I also found people who mentioned unavailability due to PT or only working x days on a regular basis annoying. I just used to say yes I can or no I can't without adding on why. You have to be more confident about what you are doing. I don't think it helps to say everyone can work PT because it's not true if you can not afford it. Also coming back from Mat leave you can negotiate your days, if not in my place of work you'd have to apply. I always tried to offer to do extra when I could , when my husband collected children so on the days I had no flexibility I felt OK about not being able to help. Don't apologise for working part time but also cut full timers some slack as that isn't easy either.

Amore2023 · 14/05/2023 08:02

I had a couple of people react a bit like this when I was p/t. One said, ‘goodbye, part-timer’ one day as a kind of insult and I got a bit annoyed and said, ‘did you mean that to be an insult? Well done for knowing my contract’. I never got any more comments like that again.

I think if they are a bit jealous, try to just smile and ignore. Looking after pre-school children is not a day off but you don’t owe anyone an explanation or justification if they are being rude to you. I try and do the late Queen’s thing, ‘never complain, never explain’.

But sometimes that is not possible! You may decide to say, ‘yes, I am part-time in order to look after my children and my salary reflects that. ‘ if they keep going on and on but you really shouldn’t have to say anything. Last resort if it still continues, ask your HR to have a word.

LT2 · 14/05/2023 08:04

I agree with the comments along the lines of 'remember, I get PT pay too'. I'd also be tempted to remind them that it's only because I worked hard, FT for many years first that enabled me to go PT now.

Original poster
Bluerossettes · 14/05/2023 08:07

It really makes no difference. I have told them I earn less than I did at 25 than now (I’m nearly 43) and I still get the jibes.

OP posts:
JenniferBarkley · 14/05/2023 08:07

I'd go a step further than mentioning your salary, and cheerfully encourage them to apply for part time hours too. Even better if they're young men without kids. "You should just go ahead and request part time Dan, you've been talking about it forever. It's painful when the pay comes in at the end of the month but it works for me, you might find it works for you too!"

Dacadactyl · 14/05/2023 08:09

I'd just let them complain tbh. So what? They're just jealous.

TiredOfCleaning · 14/05/2023 08:10

FatCatSkinnyRat · 14/05/2023 07:53

I am also part time - 0.5 FTE. I often get comments on it too, esp now my kids are teenagers and mostly self reliant.

To snarky comments about how lucky I am, I say "Don't forget I only get half the pay"

Good response.

I am just jealous of anyone who works PT as i hate my job.

Or you could follow my father's advice for people who make unwanted comments; 'Tell 'em, fuck 'em'

Original poster
Bluerossettes · 14/05/2023 08:13

The thing is, this has been going on for nearly a year now, and I’ve done the normal things of - yes but the pay is less, you can request part time too, it is really nice but my days ‘off’ are exhausting … it makes no difference.

If it’s going to stop I’d need to escalate it but I don’t know if it’s worth it.

OP posts:
Businessflake · 14/05/2023 08:15

OP have you always been PT or is this a recent change? And if a recent change what has the company done to reallocate your work?

So often nothing is done about this and it impacts others on the team. Doesn’t excuse rudeness though but can impact team dynamics.

100daystogo · 14/05/2023 08:18

I work 3 days and the sad fact is I am super lucky. I can afford to drop the days but mainly it’s because it’s super unheard of in my company. Massive FTSE100 company and i know of one other person on 3 days within 1000s of employees. It’s frowned upon and would get rejected in lots of departments.

I think a lot of people would like to drop their hours but fear / loss of money / loss of career progression puts them off. It’s just jealousy.

Henowner · 14/05/2023 08:19

You don't need to justify with colleagues why you work part time. I would just laugh in their faces when they make bitchy comments 😂

EsmeSusanOgg · 14/05/2023 08:19

Bluerossettes · 14/05/2023 08:13

The thing is, this has been going on for nearly a year now, and I’ve done the normal things of - yes but the pay is less, you can request part time too, it is really nice but my days ‘off’ are exhausting … it makes no difference.

If it’s going to stop I’d need to escalate it but I don’t know if it’s worth it.

A year? This is not OK OP.

You need to write a polite email to HR. Explain you have tried to politely deflect, but the comments have not stopped and it makes it a very hostile environment to work in.

TiredOfCleaning · 14/05/2023 08:19

TBH at this point I would just confront them. 'Why do you keep makng comments about this? Are you jealous? Are you trying to imply I am not committed/ Do you think you have the right to pass comments on every person or just me? I am confused as to why you keep commenting and it is starting to feel like harrassment. Is this something I need to talk to HR about?'

I'm too old to put up with shit anymore tbh. Just go for it.

Sometimeswinning · 14/05/2023 08:19

Bluerossettes · 14/05/2023 08:13

The thing is, this has been going on for nearly a year now, and I’ve done the normal things of - yes but the pay is less, you can request part time too, it is really nice but my days ‘off’ are exhausting … it makes no difference.

If it’s going to stop I’d need to escalate it but I don’t know if it’s worth it.

I hate to break it to you but if you escalate this they are going to find other ways to target you. Just have a one sentence reply.
"Yep love it!"
"Less time with you lot."
Stop explaining yourself to them or engaging about it.
Start looking for a new job. You are never going to be happy there.

Original poster
Bluerossettes · 14/05/2023 08:20

Well no, it doesn’t excuse rudeness. If people have too much work to do they need to raise this with the relevant people, not me!

But it isn’t a workload issue. I am a teacher.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluerossettes · 14/05/2023 08:21

I hate to break it to you sure Hmm

I really am tempted to bring it up with my line manager to be honest.

OP posts:
PinkCherryBlossoms · 14/05/2023 08:23

Iwrote · 14/05/2023 07:55

I used to work with a few horrible bitchy women who would make comments about my part time work. I tried stating I only received half pay, I was busy with small children etc.
In the end I got so fed up I'd just breeze out and when they started bitching say "Oh I know, part time reeeeaaally is the best, you should try it!".
They were bitter bitches, there was no way to win them round.

This is what I'd do. Trowel it on. If they're jealous and won't trouble to hide it, give them something to be jealous about.