Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or over sensitive re comments about PT work?

138 replies

Bluerossettes · 14/05/2023 07:49

I work three days a week, Monday - Wednesday. And I’m getting so much grief about it at work it’s really putting me off mentioning anything about it at all and in fact I try not to but sometimes I do have to, if only to remind people I can’t do something as I won’t be here.

I get some quite nasty comments about ‘lucky me’ and some groans and eye rolls about huh yeah, see you next week then.

Generally it isn’t a happy place at the moment for all sorts of reasons but it’s getting a bit much now. I have tried pointing out (in a ‘nice’ way) that part time is an option to everybody and also that I’m spending my days off with preschool children - they really aren’t relaxing days off at all! - but to no avail.

Is it worth saying something? I don’t want to come across badly but I do think I’ve been targeted a bit.

OP posts:
FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 14/05/2023 08:23

My old boss, who had approved my hours, used to be such a bitch about it. I ignored him but it does get to you after a while.

Original poster
Bluerossettes · 14/05/2023 08:24

I think that’s the thing … it started in September and now in May it’s really worn so thin.

OP posts:
Whatelsecouldibecalled · 14/05/2023 08:25

I get the same I work 0.6 with two preschool children.

It's jealously (although I would argue work is easier than being with the kids 4 days 😂) I just say you can do it too you just have to accept the massive wage drop. Shuts them up quickly.

tiggergoesbounce · 14/05/2023 08:27

Just tell people that if they are struggling to complete their own workload, then they need to escalate that to management, thats not down to you and if they are just commenting for the sake of it, then just agree, yes i am lucky to be able to do the work life balance i like.

You don't have to feel bad for being able to do the balance you want. It's a good thing for you and its ok to admit that, if they are the ones bringing it, its not like you could be seen to be putting it in their faces.

CheshireDing · 14/05/2023 08:28

Can you not just say ‘oh do stop keep going on about it’ when they next make comment

Will the embarrassment not shut them up ?

Original poster
Bluerossettes · 14/05/2023 08:31

i don’t think anything I say will shut them up. I think I’d either have to go down the semi formal route of having them spoken to by a LM or grit my teeth and put up with it. It’s horrible though, it’s no wonder hardly any men go part time Hmm

OP posts:
electriclight · 14/05/2023 08:34

I find it hard to believe that people are being genuinely, intentionally nasty about the fact that you work part time.

Surely this is just the sort of light hearted comment a full time employee might make when a part time employee says 'actually I won't be in tomorrow' or 'see you next week' as they leave work on a Wednesday afternoon.

Similar to 'another one?!' said to the colleague who has lots of holidays, borne out of envy or maybe pretending to be envious because that's what's expected when talking to someone who reminds you that they're in an enviable position.

legalseagull · 14/05/2023 08:34

Bluerossettes · 14/05/2023 08:13

The thing is, this has been going on for nearly a year now, and I’ve done the normal things of - yes but the pay is less, you can request part time too, it is really nice but my days ‘off’ are exhausting … it makes no difference.

If it’s going to stop I’d need to escalate it but I don’t know if it’s worth it.

"Can you please stop going on about my working arrangements. It's none of your business."

electriclight · 14/05/2023 08:36

"Can you please stop going on about my working arrangements. It's none of your business."

You could try this. It would probably make them stop so you would be happy. But they'd be laughing behind your back at the ridiculous over-reaction.

Whatthediddlyfeck · 14/05/2023 08:39

JenniferBarkley · 14/05/2023 08:07

I'd go a step further than mentioning your salary, and cheerfully encourage them to apply for part time hours too. Even better if they're young men without kids. "You should just go ahead and request part time Dan, you've been talking about it forever. It's painful when the pay comes in at the end of the month but it works for me, you might find it works for you too!"

This is precisely what I did in the past…”are you jealous of my work/life balance? would you like to see my payslip, nothing to stop you dropping your hours too”, and it did shut them up very quickly

Endlesssummer2022 · 14/05/2023 08:40

I do find some PT workers are highly fixated on their contracted hours in ways FT aren’t. For example there are a couple of job sharers who are very ‘I only work Monday to 1pm Wednesday when I handover’. They won’t work an hour over. However, although it’s not ideal you’ll see the FT workers often going past 5/6pm or logging in again later after they’ve done school pick ups etc. Therefore the PT gets more pay per hour. But maybe it’s just a cultural thing in my organisation.

pecantoucan · 14/05/2023 08:41

EsmeSusanOgg · 14/05/2023 08:19

A year? This is not OK OP.

You need to write a polite email to HR. Explain you have tried to politely deflect, but the comments have not stopped and it makes it a very hostile environment to work in.

Show quote history

Yes do this.

crikeycrumbsblimey · 14/05/2023 08:41

A friends theory on people who moan a lot is that this is a boring persons way of making conversation.

They sound dull.

i complained when they happened to me as an external consultant didn’t like the fact I was part time - well they can fuck off as none of their business. Between him and someone else internal it was a mechanism to blame things going wrong on something. However I could prove it was because they weren’t doing things properly. Busted!

pecantoucan · 14/05/2023 08:42

Endlesssummer2022 · 14/05/2023 08:40

I do find some PT workers are highly fixated on their contracted hours in ways FT aren’t. For example there are a couple of job sharers who are very ‘I only work Monday to 1pm Wednesday when I handover’. They won’t work an hour over. However, although it’s not ideal you’ll see the FT workers often going past 5/6pm or logging in again later after they’ve done school pick ups etc. Therefore the PT gets more pay per hour. But maybe it’s just a cultural thing in my organisation.

That's because people take the mick and ask of they can just do this that and the other.

Woolftown · 14/05/2023 08:43

I experienced this in the past. Apart from gritting your teeth, perhaps say something about what a shame it is that PTers are made to feel uncomfortable or discriminated against when we should all be supporting flexible working arrangements. You don’t know what you might need in the future. I needed more flexibility to care for an elderly relative (something else which doesn’t always get a lot of workplace empathy) and it is time people grew up a little.

Tumbler2121 · 14/05/2023 08:43

When I was part time I'd say yes, great apart from half pay too. Never a problem .

The people you're working with are just plain unleasant, if it wasnt part-time comments, it would be something else for example, clothes, comments.

Get out if you can

Cakeandslippers · 14/05/2023 08:44

If they are being intentionally mean then it's unacceptable and you need to address it, ideally directly first but if you don't feel able then through your manager. I did wonder though if they just think it's funny and don't realise it's upsetting you? When I did 3dpw my colleagues said stuff like this all the time but they meant nothing by it and I used to joke I couldn't wait to get away from them, have a relaxing break etc.

I have also learned to never say anything at work about it being hard work looking after kids. I had 2u2 and my days off were so much harder than work but any hint of that idea pisses a lot of people off for some reason. I think it might be mostly those without kids who can't imagine there being anything harder than being at work so they just don't believe it, or maybe there's another reason but either way I wouldn't try and use this as a way to explain why part time isn't all fun and games.

Good luck getting it sorted, it sounds like it's getting you down and no one needs that at work.

Pushpull · 14/05/2023 08:46

JenniferBarkley · 14/05/2023 08:07

I'd go a step further than mentioning your salary, and cheerfully encourage them to apply for part time hours too. Even better if they're young men without kids. "You should just go ahead and request part time Dan, you've been talking about it forever. It's painful when the pay comes in at the end of the month but it works for me, you might find it works for you too!"

I think this is absolutely the right response. Go breezy and oh if it's something you want you should go for it - happy to chat with you about how to make it work!

They are jealous but it's ridiculous. Also (and I mean this kindly) is there a part of you that finds PT hard and so you're amplifying their comments in your mind. I sometimes do that

Original poster
Bluerossettes · 14/05/2023 08:46

They can laugh behind my back if they want to, I’m fairly sure they already do. Like I say, it isn’t a happy place to work for all sorts of reasons, but these reasons aren’t my fault.

@pecantoucan , if someone says something like ‘the y7 book scan is taking place on Friday’ I am sorry but I’m not going to put my two year old in the car and drive to work so that I can give my books in. It’s reasonable for me to say I’m not here Friday so would they like them Wednesday or Monday instead. Ironically we DO have people who are part time who behave like this who are not given a hard time, but they are in most days and so their part time is less obvious.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluerossettes · 14/05/2023 08:47

I don’t find PT hard but I find being bullied about it pretty tough going, yes.

OP posts:
Nacknick · 14/05/2023 08:48

To be honest I’m surprised you haven’t mentioned it to your line manager already

Thelittlekingdom · 14/05/2023 08:48

I had someone (who works two days a week) comment to me how lucky I was to be working term time only. I work term time only as I have two severely disabled children and can’t work during the holidays as there’s no childcare for them.

Ignore anyone commenting. They sound jealous.

Pushpull · 14/05/2023 08:49

Endlesssummer2022 · 14/05/2023 08:40

I do find some PT workers are highly fixated on their contracted hours in ways FT aren’t. For example there are a couple of job sharers who are very ‘I only work Monday to 1pm Wednesday when I handover’. They won’t work an hour over. However, although it’s not ideal you’ll see the FT workers often going past 5/6pm or logging in again later after they’ve done school pick ups etc. Therefore the PT gets more pay per hour. But maybe it’s just a cultural thing in my organisation.

I feel like that's absolutely a cultural thing in your org. I will work long days and over but I can't physically work some of the time I'm not contracted to as I have no option and back up care. I have to be really clear about my boundaries with some people who assume I can just work. I don't assume my ft team can work evenings. I don't assume anyone can work outside of contracted hours but I'm grateful when they do. Sometimes what you're hearing is anxiety - they may genuinely have to leave to relieve a care worker or pick up a child. Doesn't mean they don't log on that night to draft a report.

SleepDebt · 14/05/2023 08:50

It's clearly jealousy and as much as it's really annoying, I would just have some fun with it - even though I totally appreciate days looking after little ones can often be more draining that work.

-Ooo yes, got a coffee date with friends tomorrow - beats marking 90 books, enjoy!

-Saw the head on the phone for quite a while this afternoon looking worried - hope Ofsted goes well - see you Monday!

-It is so lovely to have a breather from the negativity here!

  • If you need anything, then you can either let my job-share partner know or I can sort it out Monday - have a lovely rest of your week. Must be so lovely being full-time so you can be in the loop practically 24-7!
SleepDebt · 14/05/2023 08:50

At least the bullet point worked for the last one 😂