Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's weird nobody has contacted me?

33 replies

Lemonfizzy · 12/05/2023 20:39

Today DP got a message from an old friend/colleague from a few years ago who was just checking in to see how he was. Colleague moved away and they hadn't spoken for years. I think they'd seen some news that reminded them of DP and they decided to say hi, which is nice. Past colleagues and acquaintances often message DP out of the blue.

It got me thinking. I can't remember any time in my adult life when anyone I used to know well, but lost touch with, has reached out to me to 'reconnect' or simply ask me how I am. I went to uni, have had a fair few jobs, and have been a member of various clubs/teams/groups over the years, so I've known plenty of people.

Is it just me? I've got a handful of long-term friends, it just seems once I'm out of peoples' lives they just forget, or don't care about me anymore!

OP posts:
ssd · 12/05/2023 20:55

I think unfortunately most people are just self centered. And most people like to talk but not to listen. Or to talk about themselves and forget a conversation is 2 way.

I know what you mean op.

ShowUs · 12/05/2023 21:02

YABU

It sounds like you haven’t reached out to them either.

Datafan55 · 12/05/2023 21:06

Yes I know what you mean. Most of us are forgettable to most people.... even those who insisted on knowing all the detail of our lives when we were right under their noses!

But you could make someone's day by dropping them a postcard or message right now :-)

CountMushroom · 12/05/2023 21:07

Well, have you reached out to them?

LakeTiticaca · 12/05/2023 21:07

You could try reaching out to them!!

WildRosie · 12/05/2023 21:09

Stop saying 'reaching out' and similar variations. FGS. This isn't an American Employment Agency.

NotTooOldPaul · 12/05/2023 21:10

I have lots of people from past work places as Facebook friends. We do share some news that way.

WhatWeDoInTheShadow · 12/05/2023 21:11

I also don't get people from my past reaching out to me...but then I'm not really on SM and my phone number has changed a few times and I won't have told everyone I know. So it's most likely that. DH doesn't get this happening to him either AFAIK

TellHimDirectlyInDetail · 12/05/2023 21:14

Is the difference that they were established friends and the people you are thinking of are were just acquaintances?

Also is your DP active on social media and you not? They may see a post and then start a convo about it by private message?

Sudokufail · 12/05/2023 21:14

Funnily enough, I heard a couple of weeks ago from somebody I used to work closely with but haven't seen for at least 20 years! She'd thought about me and looked me up and dropped a line. I was thrilled to hear from her and wrote back immediately so say I'd love to meet up. Sadly she's not been in touch since. I'm starting to think my enthusiasm scared her off 😂

Cosyblankets · 12/05/2023 21:15

WildRosie · 12/05/2023 21:09

Stop saying 'reaching out' and similar variations. FGS. This isn't an American Employment Agency.

😅😅😅

DueWhen · 12/05/2023 21:40

Reaching out is a great expression.

It's not just 'getting in touch' it's also to, well, reach out, make an effort to connect. It's a friendly and positive.

towriteyoumustlive · 12/05/2023 21:43

Have you reached out to anyone?

Amimessingthisup · 12/05/2023 21:48

Got a theory about this.

Lots of men lose touch even with people they are very close to.

I think women tend to stay in touch more. Isn’t this a case of you keeping up with your circle of close friends whereas your DH just loses touch when he changes job etc?

CovertImage · 12/05/2023 22:06

WildRosie · 12/05/2023 21:09

Stop saying 'reaching out' and similar variations. FGS. This isn't an American Employment Agency.

Oh thank god. I was just about to say, are we now using "reached out" exclusively?

I still keep just "contacting" people - am I missing out?

CovertImage · 12/05/2023 22:08

DueWhen · 12/05/2023 21:40

Reaching out is a great expression.

It's not just 'getting in touch' it's also to, well, reach out, make an effort to connect. It's a friendly and positive.

That's exactly what "getting in touch" is FFS, with less wankery about it

freddieatemyhamster · 12/05/2023 22:12

I have done this, getting in touch with old friends after years of no contact ... just on a whim, out of curiosity. I have to say it ultimately felt a bit embarrassing, liked I'd over stepped. Although they were polite and some info was exchanged it was a bit "why are you contacting me now? What do you want?" Nothing! Nostalgia got the better of me, that's all.

MovieQueen12 · 12/05/2023 22:13

This is me completely.
I am everyones best friend when things are tough but as soon as they are in a better situation, they disappear.
It's horrible and definitely made me see that if you are a kind person you need to realise that not everyone has the same kind of heart and can be very self absorbed.

itsgettingweird · 12/05/2023 22:15

Well you could easily reach out as much as they could 🤷‍♀️

AnneLovesGilbert · 12/05/2023 22:19

Who would you want to hear from and have you ever contacted them?

sonearly · 12/05/2023 22:27

DP is probably enough of a good person to have made an impression on people. That's something to be proud of.

Lovelydaytomorrow · 12/05/2023 22:30

When was the last time you 'reached out' to someone you've lost touch with?

StarDolphins · 12/05/2023 22:32

WildRosie · 12/05/2023 21:09

Stop saying 'reaching out' and similar variations. FGS. This isn't an American Employment Agency.

I agree. ‘Contacted them’ sounds much better.

Davros · 12/05/2023 22:34

Reach out 🤮

Swipe left for the next trending thread