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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask your crush crushing strategies pls

52 replies

SaulSobieski · 12/05/2023 11:14

How to crush a crush?

I'm picturing him getting married, their wedding photos, their home life together etc.

Anything else worked for any former crushees?

Thank you.

OP posts:
CamoFlamingo · 12/05/2023 11:17

Time apart usually does the trick eventually. Do you have to see this person a lot?

Original poster
SaulSobieski · 12/05/2023 11:24

Just school run.

Starting to look for him on it 😫

OP posts:
OneTC · 12/05/2023 11:26

Go out with them for a bit

neverbeenskiing · 12/05/2023 11:28

Think about all the things past boyfriends have said or done that have completely turned you off, then imagine him doing those things.

Original poster
SaulSobieski · 12/05/2023 11:31

(On the verge of noting which days he does it, do not want to get into that headspace).

OP posts:
Original poster
SaulSobieski · 12/05/2023 11:32

OneTC · 12/05/2023 11:26

Go out with them for a bit

Lol.

Yeah that'll do it.

Both married (I presume he's married, if he's not he's in a partnership).

OP posts:
CamoFlamingo · 12/05/2023 11:33

You're just going to have to ignore it/let it run its course. As long as you don't act on it it's not a big deal.

Original poster
SaulSobieski · 12/05/2023 11:35

neverbeenskiing · 12/05/2023 11:28

Think about all the things past boyfriends have said or done that have completely turned you off, then imagine him doing those things.

I can't imagine him doing those things.

It was under confidence (and smoking).

He looks very confident and like Mr Sports (can't imagine him smoking).

OP posts:
Original poster
SaulSobieski · 12/05/2023 11:37

CamoFlamingo · 12/05/2023 11:33

You're just going to have to ignore it/let it run its course. As long as you don't act on it it's not a big deal.

True, it's entirely natural.

Just let it flow maybe.

OP posts:
AntoniaMacaronia · 12/05/2023 11:46

Imagine him approaching you all lovingly, when he's just woken up, with that morning breath. Then imagine he's been in the bathroom, for his morning time, after which he didn't wash his hands - your turn next.

Enjoy!

Original poster
SaulSobieski · 12/05/2023 12:09

AntoniaMacaronia · 12/05/2023 11:46

Imagine him approaching you all lovingly, when he's just woken up, with that morning breath. Then imagine he's been in the bathroom, for his morning time, after which he didn't wash his hands - your turn next.

Enjoy!

I'll be honest, when someone's that hot, you'd be likely to just say "brush your teeth and come back mate" ....

Or just do spoons position

😫

OP posts:
greennotepad · 12/05/2023 12:10

Imagine them straining on the loo to do massive poo. Works every time.

Original poster
SaulSobieski · 12/05/2023 12:13

I'm just gonna stick with

"he's not free",
"he's probably a nightmare to be in a relationship with, his partner probably puts up with all sorts (we live in a very rural parochial backwater where people rarely rarely leave marriages and the 1950s is alive & well in terms of women's roles) while you're too feisty.
'If may be unintentional on his part but would you like to be with a man who looks at other women/school runs the way he does ; no"
"Even if it ever became anything, that's two kids households threatened"

Etc etc

Writing this out is helping.

OP posts:
Original poster
SaulSobieski · 12/05/2023 12:15

greennotepad · 12/05/2023 12:10

Imagine them straining on the loo to do massive poo. Works every time.

That's a really good one!

I can't circumvent that (unlike the morning doggy breathe one).

OP posts:
Original poster
SaulSobieski · 12/05/2023 12:16

*school mums, not school runs

OP posts:
Original poster
SaulSobieski · 12/05/2023 12:17

greennotepad · 12/05/2023 12:10

Imagine them straining on the loo to do massive poo. Works every time.

I've tried it on Chris Hemsworth, just to see if it works on absolutely anyone .... But all I'm getting is "aw, cute".

OP posts:
brownsauce · 12/05/2023 12:25

Just go with it! I love a good crush, helps me while away the hours when I’m doing boring stuff at work.

Arou · 12/05/2023 12:36

Write a roast of him or imagine one of your mates doing so or actually start bitching about them with someone you know. I’ll say I had the most massive crush and my male friend dragged him big time and was always slagging him off and it did genuinely put me off him even though he was my kind of ‘perfect’ lol

FrogsWormsandButterflies · 12/05/2023 12:41

I curren have a huge crush on someone at work, nothing is helping and I see him 5 days a week!
I’m single but he’s not unfortunately

GoldDuster · 12/05/2023 12:47

Enjoy it, are hot dads not one of the perks of the school run?

Just don't do anything about it.

Olinguita · 12/05/2023 12:57

Don't talk about your crush to anyone as that will enshrine it as A Thing and will give it fuel.
Focus your energies on other things - work, doing something creative, online shopping, a hobby... Anything, really
Lastly ask yourself if this crush is telling you something about your life or yourself.
Are you bored or unhappy at home or in need of a new challenge for example? Only saying this because my last crush (which I allowed to fizzle) actually made me face up the fact that I was desperately unhappy in my marriage and to get real with myself.
But failing the above... Just imagine them doing a really stinky fart under the duvet in bed. Works every time.

Olinguita · 12/05/2023 12:58
  • I needed to get real with myself
5128gap · 12/05/2023 13:07

He's just a bloke. And once the novelty wore off he'd be just as prone to being annoying and boring as any other. Plus other faults you don't even know about. Chances are he's no improvement on the one you've got, and better the devil you know.

Original poster
SaulSobieski · 12/05/2023 13:10

FrogsWormsandButterflies · 12/05/2023 12:41

I curren have a huge crush on someone at work, nothing is helping and I see him 5 days a week!
I’m single but he’s not unfortunately

Fuck, that's tricky.

Hope this thread helps you in some way.

Can you galvanised the crush into energy towards meeting someone (presuming you want to) .

OP posts:
Original poster
SaulSobieski · 12/05/2023 13:14

Olinguita · 12/05/2023 12:57

Don't talk about your crush to anyone as that will enshrine it as A Thing and will give it fuel.
Focus your energies on other things - work, doing something creative, online shopping, a hobby... Anything, really
Lastly ask yourself if this crush is telling you something about your life or yourself.
Are you bored or unhappy at home or in need of a new challenge for example? Only saying this because my last crush (which I allowed to fizzle) actually made me face up the fact that I was desperately unhappy in my marriage and to get real with myself.
But failing the above... Just imagine them doing a really stinky fart under the duvet in bed. Works every time.

My marriage is a cohabiting arrangement which will last who knows how long ... For child, financial etc reasons.
I'm ok with that.

But I suppose I've always been prone to crushes so it's not even the marriage situation.

You'd have thought I'd have learned better techniques by now.

OP posts: