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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No photos/videos at school event

51 replies

Twocatsonefrogandamouse · 12/05/2023 07:38

Went to an event put on my the local council, 10 different schools all coming together under one roof to collaborate and participate as a group. The usual ‘no photography/videoing’ advice is issued and one set of parents from the school my son attends is snapping away on their phone. Get asked not to, still carry on secretly doing it. These are grown adults. Then smugly show everyone after what they have taken. I’m so outraged by them, don’t they think that everyone would like to take photos? They have them now of not just their child but either of the whole school group but also close ups of my child. I feel so pissed off that people have such a blatant disregard for safeguarding. I know I’m being irrational, I just need to vent!

OP posts:
msisfine · 12/05/2023 07:39

No you're not being unreasonable. There'll be a damn good safeguarding reason why people aren't allowed to take photos. What a pair of selfish twats.

FeliciteFaff · 12/05/2023 07:40

You’re right to be angry

Purplehyena · 12/05/2023 07:40

You are not being unreasonable, some people just don’t get it. Lucky them if they lead such a life that they cannot comprehend the very real situations that make these rules necessary I guess.

TeenDivided · 12/05/2023 07:43

You are not being unreasonable.
Possibly one or more children taking part is in care / adopted / fleeing domestic violence.
Having their photo on social media identifying their area & school could be dangerous for them.
As an adopter, I'd have been very cross with them.

Original poster
Twocatsonefrogandamouse · 12/05/2023 07:45

I was expecting to be vilified! It’s just the smugness that they think they have been clever. I guess they must just be stupid!

OP posts:
FearlessSwiftie · 12/05/2023 16:04

YANBU at all! There are reasons to ban the photos and while it's nice to have some smartshow 3d slideshows with school event pictures, this should not come first when it's safety that is in question!

Jellycatspyjamas · 12/05/2023 16:11

I’d be livid, because it could potentially put my children at risk. Why can’t people think beyond their own wishes and wants.

Rainbowshine · 12/05/2023 16:15

I had this problem and I had a word with the organisers and highlighted who I had seen taking pictures. They were stopped at the end of the event and taken away to an office, I assume they were told to remove and delete the photos. I also saw a parent sat next to a sign saying no photos/cameras in words and pictorially snapping away at the swimming lessons. One of the other parents said something to her about it and she said she would crop the other kids out 🤦🏻‍♀️ and they insisted that she delete them, she was so outraged she couldn’t take photos it was ridiculous. Totally ignorant of the importance of safeguarding or online safety - just wanted her IG moments. Grrr

Colourfingers2 · 12/05/2023 16:23

The Officer for Data Protection said a few years ago in a public statement that there is no lawful reason or precedent to prevent parents taking photos of their children at school plays and concerts.
I have no objection to anyone taking photos at my children’s school concerts and neither does my ex. But then my children are being educated in the Czech Republic as the education is better, the environment is safer and there are more fulfilling activities for them to do than here.
On the continent schools and jobs worth’s do not object to parents taking photographs of their children although I do have to say that foreigners have more sense than us British in this regard and do not believe that everyone is a rabid nonce because they are not whipped up into a permanent paranoia by their press.
After all what harm can such simple photographic momentoes do?
So yes you are being unreasonable in my opinion OP as is anyone else who thinks otherwise.

Invisimamma · 12/05/2023 16:29

Colourfingers2 · 12/05/2023 16:23

The Officer for Data Protection said a few years ago in a public statement that there is no lawful reason or precedent to prevent parents taking photos of their children at school plays and concerts.
I have no objection to anyone taking photos at my children’s school concerts and neither does my ex. But then my children are being educated in the Czech Republic as the education is better, the environment is safer and there are more fulfilling activities for them to do than here.
On the continent schools and jobs worth’s do not object to parents taking photographs of their children although I do have to say that foreigners have more sense than us British in this regard and do not believe that everyone is a rabid nonce because they are not whipped up into a permanent paranoia by their press.
After all what harm can such simple photographic momentoes do?
So yes you are being unreasonable in my opinion OP as is anyone else who thinks otherwise.

It's not about peadophiles, it's because some children need to be safeguarded. For example if they are fleeing abuse and their father does not have contact and does not know where they are, if that photo makes it onto social media the child's school and location would be in the public domain, same goes for adopted children who have no contact with their bio parents. Reverse image searching means it would be very easy to track a child whose image is available online.

TomatoSandwiches · 12/05/2023 16:30

Colourfingers2 · 12/05/2023 16:23

The Officer for Data Protection said a few years ago in a public statement that there is no lawful reason or precedent to prevent parents taking photos of their children at school plays and concerts.
I have no objection to anyone taking photos at my children’s school concerts and neither does my ex. But then my children are being educated in the Czech Republic as the education is better, the environment is safer and there are more fulfilling activities for them to do than here.
On the continent schools and jobs worth’s do not object to parents taking photographs of their children although I do have to say that foreigners have more sense than us British in this regard and do not believe that everyone is a rabid nonce because they are not whipped up into a permanent paranoia by their press.
After all what harm can such simple photographic momentoes do?
So yes you are being unreasonable in my opinion OP as is anyone else who thinks otherwise.

You have spectacularly missed the point, well done.

Jellycatspyjamas · 12/05/2023 16:30

foreigners have more sense than us British in this regard and do not believe that everyone is a rabid nonce because they are not whipped up into a permanent paranoia by their press.
After all what harm can such simple photographic momentoes do?

My children are adopted, they were removed from their birth family for safety reasons. Their birth family don’t know their new family name or where they live. There’s a member of the extended north family in my local area, it would be very easy for them to trace my kids through photographs at a school concert inadvertently shared on social media or with friends. There’s absolutely no need to have or share photographs of children who aren’t yours.

I know there are various kids with looked after status in my kids school and some parents who have left abusive relationships- it’s easy to trace someone through their children. Nothing to do with suspecting everyone of being a raging paedo, everything to do with known risk.

TeenDivided · 12/05/2023 16:32

@Colourfingers2 It isn't the taking of photos that is the issue. it is the plastering all over social media. When parents are allowed to take photos but trusted not to do that, some irresponsible parents break that trust.

I explained up thread why it can be a risk. Did you bother to read it? Some children have specific risks if they are in care, adopted or feeing domestic violence, and no doubt some other reasons too.

With image searching now possible, photos that tie a child to a specific school can be a risk. Some children will have to not do school events if parents can't be trusted and that's not fair on the children who have already lost so much and they are entitled to as full a school experience as your kids.

And you know what? The parents who reluctantly have to say no to photos also miss out on taking the photos. We also don't have pictures of concerts or whatever.

BatsAndCats · 12/05/2023 16:35

Colourfingers2 · 12/05/2023 16:23

The Officer for Data Protection said a few years ago in a public statement that there is no lawful reason or precedent to prevent parents taking photos of their children at school plays and concerts.
I have no objection to anyone taking photos at my children’s school concerts and neither does my ex. But then my children are being educated in the Czech Republic as the education is better, the environment is safer and there are more fulfilling activities for them to do than here.
On the continent schools and jobs worth’s do not object to parents taking photographs of their children although I do have to say that foreigners have more sense than us British in this regard and do not believe that everyone is a rabid nonce because they are not whipped up into a permanent paranoia by their press.
After all what harm can such simple photographic momentoes do?
So yes you are being unreasonable in my opinion OP as is anyone else who thinks otherwise.

What a clueless person you are.

Chenford · 12/05/2023 16:38

that foreigners have more sense than us British in this regard and do not believe that everyone is a rabid nonce

They clearly have much less imagination though @Colourfingers2, if they think this is the only reason taking photos like this may be highly problematic for some…

BunnyandElephantTogether · 12/05/2023 16:39

YANBU, parents have been banned from events taking place at our school for posting pictures of others DC on Social Media, I don't post school uniform photos on Social Media for reasons related to my work as it makes me an easy target, so I don't like parents doing.

Problem is parents from DCs school just remove me as friends so I can't see them posting it (but other parents who're friends with them tell me)

BatsAndCats · 12/05/2023 16:40

It makes me angry too.

A couple of parents were removed from a school play at my friends children’s school for refusing to stop taking photo/video at a school play. The police had to be called and apparently they were told to delete the photos.

Catspyjamas17 · 12/05/2023 16:40

I think it's a bit off not to allow parents to take photos unless there are going to be official photos or videos available after. They could just ask not to put them on social media.

TeenDivided · 12/05/2023 16:42

Catspyjamas17 · 12/05/2023 16:40

I think it's a bit off not to allow parents to take photos unless there are going to be official photos or videos available after. They could just ask not to put them on social media.

Unfortunately there are always parents who know better and do plaster them all over their wide open social media...

Lcb123 · 12/05/2023 16:45

YANBU. They should have been thrown out. Why does everything need to be documented online. You can’t go anywhere without someone taking a photo or video.

ReceptionTA · 12/05/2023 16:56

@Colourfingers2 After all what harm can such simple photographic momentoes do?
So yes you are being unreasonable in my opinion OP as is anyone else who thinks otherwise.

I work with children who for various reasons need to be protected from people who have been in their lives- adopted children, children who have had to move homes and schools due to domestic abuse, children who are in foster care etc, etc.

At one point a very mentally ill person who I knew wanted to take my DC to live with them. If the person didn't already know which school they were at, I would have asked for no photos which linked them to the school, to reduce risk as much as possible. I can't begin to tell you how frightening it is knowing someone wants to, and might, take your children.

I actually think you're unreasonable.

Cantthinkofaname2203 · 12/05/2023 16:59

If photos aren’t allowed it’s usually because there is a vulnerable child. It’s not fear of paedo’s 🙄

the alternative is to not allow that vulnerable child/ren to participate in school plays and events. Which obviously also has the effect of marking them out and the gossip mill starts and eventually you risk the people the child needs to be protected from finding out…

if someone would rather a child miss out or be put at risk so they can take photos they’re a twat.

Gypsyo · 12/05/2023 17:05

I have always taken photos, but they are mementos of my child only and I would never, ever share a picture of any child (including my own) on social media. My youngest's school finally relented on this as it was impossible to police and just asked that no photos are shared on social media, which I think is fair.

Nanny0gg · 12/05/2023 17:08

Catspyjamas17 · 12/05/2023 16:40

I think it's a bit off not to allow parents to take photos unless there are going to be official photos or videos available after. They could just ask not to put them on social media.

The school I worked in took 'official' videos and photos of school plays and events.

Yes, they were sold so the money paid towards putting on the play, but they were fairly professionally done so you could see and hear the children clearly, parents weren't constantly bobbing up and down annoying everyone, nothing was put on social media and we knew which children couldn't be filmed.

Nanny0gg · 12/05/2023 17:09

Gypsyo · 12/05/2023 17:05

I have always taken photos, but they are mementos of my child only and I would never, ever share a picture of any child (including my own) on social media. My youngest's school finally relented on this as it was impossible to police and just asked that no photos are shared on social media, which I think is fair.

My DGS school does this.

How many parents do you think ignore the request? Confused