To think I'm allowed QT with my daughter too...

[Grapefruittea]

I work full time and am resident parent to my toddler. My ex lives over 45 mins away in a studio apartment. At the moment we share weekends and she co sleeps with him. Due to being let down many times (bringing DD home to me at 8.30pm at night because she is upset and won't stop crying has happened over three times in the last six months) I refuse to let him have her in the week. It is too disruptive for her and also for me, if he lets me down last minute. My ex is now saying he should have her every weekend because I see her in the week. I tried to explain I don't have any QT with her but that doesn't matter to him. I have even suggested every other weekend, so we both get longer periods of time together too! (Just to reiterate I've never stopped him seeing his daughter and we share BHW and he is welcome to take holiday off work to have her too). He pays minimum and I have to work two jobs so I can afford to send my daughter to nursery and work and pay for rent etc. It seems very unfair that I can't enjoy proper time with her too!

Just make it clear how much you are looking forward to do x on Saturday afternoon and he'll drop her home every time.

It is completely about control. You need to just stay 3 steps ahead of him.

View him as an "uncle" to your DD an irritating unreliable one.

Keep a record of all the contact offered that he turns down.

He won't return her Saturday as per agreement. Start giving him Saturday tea time or Sunday morning until nursery Monday.

I agree FaceTime every other day, one evening visit a week and every other weekend is adequate. If he lived closer he may be able to do two evening visits but he moved away so that’s his consequence. I wouldn’t want my ex in my home two evenings a week.

I would go to a mediator if I were you and get it all in writing. I would also ignore all contact other than the FaceTime during the week. There’s no need for you to be in constant contact any more and boundaries clearly need to be set.

No more letting him in your home!

If he's malicious and manipulative then best get a court ordered contact agreement place and stick to it like glue (it would also have helped if you'd made that clear in the first place).

Sounds like u r also not putting yr child’s needs b4 yr own, if u went to mediation they would give u a few home truths.
Try and work with yr X for the best outcome for yr child, don’t focus on wot u don’t like about them, focus on yr child, children r always unsettled when seeing their other parent it isn’t a reason to stop them from doing so.

@Skybluepinky I have spoken to a mediator about the situation. What home truths am I missing?