Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Partners ex telling people I broke up their relationship

28 replies

Moopyhereagain · 11/05/2023 14:52

Just a vent really, am going to be the bigger person and say nothing but… AIBU to feel cross - partners ex started a new relationship, this is what finally split them up ( they had been unhappy for many years, in same house only for kids, sleeping in separate rooms) She was a few months into a new relationship when he found out, says he was really relieved. He did move out of the family home a couple of months after we met, into rented as I said I was going no further whilst he was living with ex. I think she expected him to stay there and single to share the parenting. I’m really aware I only have his side of the tale, and am sure there was fault on both sides from the sound of it. She is def in her new relationship, I’ve met them together. Partner and her co parent pretty well together, 50/50 shared. We don’t live together yet. Will be a while as his kids are still young, but we have a lovely relationship. Anyway… turns out she has been telling everyone in small rural area that he left her for me. I can and will just suck this inaccuracy up but it makes me cross. I do worry this is the narrative the children will have but I’m staying out of it. Piss slightly boiled though.

OP posts:
TuesandThursNero · 11/05/2023 15:00

Because her version may well be true!

they had been unhappy for many years, in same house only for kids, sleeping in separate rooms) 🤔

how long have you been with him op?

Original poster
Moopyhereagain · 11/05/2023 15:03

We’ve been together a year. I know I only have one side of the tale but she’s told me herself that her relationship started before I was on the scene so that bit is def a lie. I know the separate rooms etc might be bs but she told me that too - and that the relationship was long dead. I met her before I met the kids as understandably she wanted to do this- that’s when she told me all that. It’s to other people she has a different line

OP posts:
Thewitcherswolf · 11/05/2023 15:04

He moved out to be with you. So it’s kind of true.
She cheated. He considered the relationship over. She considered it crappy but still going despite her affair because they were still living together, possibly still married.
Both versions can be true.

TuesandThursNero · 11/05/2023 15:04

Last month you posted you were moving in together a week later.

TuesandThursNero · 11/05/2023 15:05

He has kids
You have kids
barely a year
already drama

why move in?

Original poster
Moopyhereagain · 11/05/2023 15:05

No I didn’t post that - I have moved to be nearer him

OP posts:
Original poster
Moopyhereagain · 11/05/2023 15:05

We don’t live together, well we do when he doesn’t have his kids sort of

OP posts:
TuesandThursNero · 11/05/2023 15:06

Moopyhereagain · 11/05/2023 15:05

No I didn’t post that - I have moved to be nearer him

Yes Op, you did

Moopyhereagain · 13/04/2023 08:51
Met someone great 4 months in, been together a year moving in next week so keep going!

Original poster
Moopyhereagain · 11/05/2023 15:06

I get it’s complicated- and yes both versions can be sort of true. Which is why I’m staying out of it really

OP posts:
Original poster
Moopyhereagain · 11/05/2023 15:07

Yeah my post wasn’t entirely accurate about moving in together. I have moved but we have separate houses part of the week

OP posts:
Reugny · 11/05/2023 15:08

Anyway… turns out she has been telling everyone in small rural area that he left her for me

Well tell everyone who mentions anything to you "Do you know she had an long-term affair? When he found out he left her and we got together x months later."

Testina · 11/05/2023 15:10

Moopyhereagain · 11/05/2023 15:07

Yeah my post wasn’t entirely accurate about moving in together. I have moved but we have separate houses part of the week

Why did you like to another poster then?

Testina · 11/05/2023 15:10

*lie

TuesandThursNero · 11/05/2023 15:12

Moopyhereagain · 11/05/2023 15:07

Yeah my post wasn’t entirely accurate about moving in together. I have moved but we have separate houses part of the week

And perhaps what your partner told you about the break up wasn’t “entirely accurate”

Original poster
Moopyhereagain · 11/05/2023 15:13

Testina · 11/05/2023 15:10

*lie

Fair point and I’m sorry - but in my head it was shorthand as we have sort of moved in together whilst keeping separate properties for benefit of his parenting etc. My kids are grown up

OP posts:
Original poster
Moopyhereagain · 11/05/2023 15:19

TuesandThursNero · 11/05/2023 15:12

And perhaps what your partner told you about the break up wasn’t “entirely accurate”

Show quote history

Oh I know , no one really knows what goes on in anyone else’s relationship and as I say I only really have his side of it. Am very aware of that. Doesn’t hugely matter though and there is drama but it’s not really my drama.

OP posts:
TuesandThursNero · 11/05/2023 15:21

But you’re starting a thread about it on mumsnet op.

what she tells people is her business and no doubt her truth. So let it be.

Original poster
Moopyhereagain · 11/05/2023 15:24

Tough crowd but yes you are right!

OP posts:
Testina · 11/05/2023 15:25

Moopyhereagain · 11/05/2023 15:13

Fair point and I’m sorry - but in my head it was shorthand as we have sort of moved in together whilst keeping separate properties for benefit of his parenting etc. My kids are grown up

Show quote history

Shorthand 🤣 it’s not the same at all. And disingenuous to encourage someone to do it when you clearly saw the need yourself not to do it.

Thewitcherswolf · 11/05/2023 15:26

If anyone challenges you on it you could always say
´The date their relationship ended is one of the many things my partner and his ex disagree on’.

TuesandThursNero · 11/05/2023 15:28

Precisely how disingenuous you have been Op, is how I suspect your partner has been with you

LolaSmiles · 11/05/2023 15:33

partners ex started a new relationship, this is what finally split them up ( they had been unhappy for many years, in same house only for kids, sleeping in separate rooms) She was a few months into a new relationship when he found out, says he was really relieved. He did move out of the family home a couple of months after we met, into rented as I said I was going no further whilst he was living with ex.
I can't picture the time frames here because it sounds like he was living in the family home, found out she was having another relationship but continued living in the family home whilst she played away and then moved out after meeting you.
I can't think many men would want to live in the family home with their partner seeing someone else. Something just doesn't add up to me.

Is there a chance that his ex thought they were working through a situation and then as soon as he's not his next girlfriend lined up he moves out?

Moro93 · 11/05/2023 15:38

It sounds like his ex might not have been in her new relationship as long as he’s been with you. Maybe they were sleeping in separate rooms and having issues, but maybe he’s the one who started a relationship elsewhere first and then she done the same thing. Which means that what she’s saying is technically true.

Or maybe they had an open relationship and he was aware of her other partner. They could have had an agreement and been staying together to coparent while having other partners, but he took it further and moved out to be with you.

Original poster
Moopyhereagain · 11/05/2023 15:38

No, her new partner moved in shortly afterwards, they weren’t working through stuff , she has told me herself that it was well over and that she was / is glad he’s met me. Anyway, I get I am BU a bit and I haven’t said anything to people IRL hence the vent. Lives are complicated and it isn’t black and white, pp that said ‘it’s her truth’ makes a good point

OP posts:
MILofdoom · 11/05/2023 15:57

It may be her truth but I don't buy that shit. Lets be honest everyone in these situations needs a scapegoat I know first hand! You have my sympathy OP, it's crap when people slander your name to take the onus away from them, especially in small communities/rural areas. Nearly 6 years in and that crap still sticks and still makes my piss boil!

Swipe left for the next trending thread