Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what your boss is like?

33 replies

moominmummie · 10/05/2023 21:44

I'm going through it at the moment, a manager from hell. I'm miserable at home & my child asked me tonight why I'm always cross when I get home from work.
I've gone to upper management with my problems in the past, it was supposed to have been dealt with but he's back to his old ways.

I just want to know if other people have this problem or have ever had a manager that made their life hell?

I'm so close to bursting into flames.

OP posts:
Kyse23 · 10/05/2023 21:51

Probably not helpful but mine is fab and it makes a big difference
I couldn't get hold of someone today and neither could he and he messaged me saying "I'm sending a fucking smoke signal, it'll be quicker"

pleasehelpimlost · 10/05/2023 21:56

Mine is outwardly everybody's buddy & mr nice guy. In reality, narcissistic & nasty. Happy to take credit for my success and equally happy to blame his mistakes on me.

Disolusionedteacher · 10/05/2023 21:56

Mine is an absolute arsehole too!

whatkatydid2013 · 10/05/2023 21:58

My current boss is amazing. Past ones have been shit. It’s really hard and incredibly demotivating having a rubbish boss. Raise it again as if it’s already acknowledged he is doing something wrong and needs to adjust and he isn’t doing it then his management need to be aware of that. Maybe also look at options for an internal transfer or a new job as it could well be he’s never going to change.

tourdefrance · 10/05/2023 21:59

My current one is lovely but have a couple of terrible ones in the past.
I'm afraid in both cases leaving the company was the solution.

SaturdayGiraffe · 10/05/2023 22:02

Incredibly clever and efficient, wonderful at work life balance. Effortless public speaker (perhaps benefit of top public school), but not invested enough to really support subordinates growing their careers. Often disengaged on a personal level.
Overall, relaxed and magnanimous.

rooroorooroooroo · 10/05/2023 22:04

My boss is brilliant. Real great guy, we regularly meet for coffee, he trusts me and we have a good laugh together.

I can ring him up and vent, and he does the same. Sometimes I have to manage him and talk him through things before he loses the plot but we work very well together.

I've had some terrible bosses and simply won't tolerate it anymore.

All being well, I will be replacing my boss shortly. He's due for retirement and I've been assured his post. I'm very pleased but I'll miss him, he's made it clear he'll only be a text away - and we still have to meet for coffee. Grin

DumboLives · 10/05/2023 22:04

pleasehelpimlost · 10/05/2023 21:56

Mine is outwardly everybody's buddy & mr nice guy. In reality, narcissistic & nasty. Happy to take credit for my success and equally happy to blame his mistakes on me.

I had one of these, plus he had a side kick ‘yes’ man who did nothing. It was horrific- changed jobs and much better one now. Makes a difference working for a decent human being.

Dacadactyl · 10/05/2023 22:11

Mine is very good in some ways and ineffectual in others. She is kind and nice and I like her.

She will move heaven and earth if people need time off or will rearrange the rota if the kids have an assembly etc. However, we have one VERY VERY lazy colleague who works remotely and takes the piss. She cannot manage this person, whereas if I was managing them I would have them on some sort of capability proceeding/ongoing monitoring.

Itsallaloadofbollocks · 10/05/2023 22:52

I've had a variety. The best was someone who just left me to get on with things. The worst...I posted this on another thread a while ago

Evil manager. My 5 hour exit interview resulted in his suspension and subsequent sacking. Still hate him and haven't forgiven him even though his career is now over.

Having said that I've just had another narrow escape. Been through two years of hell with the female version. Thankfully she was recognised for what she is and moved sideways into a role where she only has to manage herself and the rest of humanity is safe from her lying self aggrandisement.

Presumably your manager is able to modify his behaviour. He's done it before so should be able. Have his managers eased off him so he's slipped back? Do you need to remind them?
If there are enough of you it can be worth putting in a collective grievance (if your company accepts them) as this can offer you some protection from being singled out. Start putting things in writing and develop a chain of evidence as proof that you want them to take this seriously. Think about joining a union.

If nothing works just put some laxatives in his coffee, have a whip round at work to see if you can afford a hit man, or push him down the stairs. Obviously these last few are not serious but they were all suggestions put forward by the team who worked for 'Evil manager' 😀
Good luck

Itsallaloadofbollocks · 10/05/2023 22:54

*able to do it again

Enko · 10/05/2023 22:56

She is great supportive friendly had your back.

Just very little progression in my job.
My boss however is amazing

thaisweetchill · 10/05/2023 23:01

They have their ups and downs!
Ups - flexible, happy for us to leave early if needed, doesn't set unrealistic goals, friendly to talk to
Downs - phones for chats in the car about absolutely nothing, stands at your desk for absolutely nothing, doesn't understand people who are ill, not a massive fan of maternity leave

Fandabedodgy · 10/05/2023 23:08

If you are that unhappy you should liok for another job.

Life is short. Don't waste time being unhappy at work.

Coasterfan · 10/05/2023 23:12

Mine is awesome. I am self employed 😀 seriously though I would look for a new job, I have worked for absolute horrors in the past and I do understand how it can make work unbearable.

EatingWormsMichael · 10/05/2023 23:17

Current one is fab, totally supportive and wants me to succeed.

Last year I had a nightmare manager who constantly undermined me and criticised me to the team I managed. Made my life hell for the best part of a year. Like the OP it affected my home life as I was spending 8 hours a day feeling under attack.

I ended up going to his boss and listing the issues I was having. I had a list of bullying behaviours from my union to show how unacceptable it was. I got a new manager and started enjoying work again.

lollipoprainbow · 10/05/2023 23:20

Mine is wonderful but she leaves in two weeks I'm gutted.

GhostStress · 10/05/2023 23:22

My current boss is a peach. Worked me into the ground for the past 3 years. I finally plucked up courage to say things are too much and asked for a stress risk assessment to be carried out last week. Issued with redundancy notice today!

No idea how I'm going to build myself up again but hoping I get a good one next time....otherwise I'm done.

Mama_bear · 10/05/2023 23:22

Absolutely useless. Verybimature and unprofessional. Pleasant enough so there's that. She is promising to reture soon, not soon enough for my liking.

hereiamagainn · 10/05/2023 23:22

Boss one level above me is a lovely person, if you tell her what you need help with she will be there and make it happen.

Boss above her is a trickier character. She has friends and enemies. If you’re in her team and she likes you, all is well. If you’re not in her team and/or she doesn’t rate you, look out.

Mama_bear · 10/05/2023 23:23

Oh and has a massive problem with anyone but her having annual leave.

Carsarelife · 10/05/2023 23:24

Pleasant enough and friendly. I work with apprentices from 18-24 years I'm in my 50's. Boss is 55. Quite often she'll talk to me like I'm a child or like I'm an apprentice. I'm qualified with a wealth of experience. It really grates on me

Exaspa · 10/05/2023 23:31

Current manager is very ambitious, over extended, naive and out of their depth and, to be fair, utterly unsupported by their managers who aren't from the same professional background and are mostly a waste of DNA. Also doesn't help that our, er, organisation has some systemic issues. To say the least.

I have had several managers over the years who unwittingly taught me how not to manage and mostly I left them and the organisation as soon as I could.

I wasn't the best manager in the world when I was in management roles but I hope I was okay, I also have had bosses who were amazing and inspirational, caring, kind, and fair. They've mostly sadly retired or left the sector now and the new buzzword in my profession for what would once have been a manager is "lead".... partly because things have been cut so close to the bone there's not much left to actually manage any more. Loads of what we do should be regionalised and would not only make the services more consistent but would also save hundreds of thousands if not millions but I have a feeling I'll be retired and living on Jersey by the time the penny drops...

Cocteautriplet · 10/05/2023 23:37

Current boss is fine but former one (in previous job) was a right twunt, a complete control freak and a huge snob. One of my roles in our office was to provide a lunch for the trustees every month or so. I made it in house and brought the ingredients from a local supermarket. Twunt would always accompany me lest I got an inferior quality cheese or went off to Thailand using the company credit card. Complete micro manager. The most insulting thing though was that he refused to help carry any bags back and always insisted on walking separately back to the office ahead of me and blanked any conversation no pleasantries or chit chat, just awkward silence. Weirdly his partner, who used to ring him up every day to talk to him was absolutely lovely!

HappilyContentTheseDays · 10/05/2023 23:38

I've had some wonderful bosses in the past....those are the ones I learned the most from.

One shit woman who made me cry regularly (not in the office) so I left.

One that I fancied like mad, fortunately he left. Stopped me acting like a teenager when I was old enough to know better!!

Current bosses are just utterly useless, incompetent, and don't know their own jobs. But fortunately I've just secured another post elsewhere and so won't have to worry about it....!