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AIBU?

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Original poster

to think people who think cancer is caused by lifestyle choices are ignorant?

158 replies

user19201881 · 10/05/2023 21:00

I have a work colleague who thinks that cancer is always caused by lifestyle choices - drinking, smoking, obesity etc. I have had cancer and find this sort of attitude quite upsetting.
I know of 6 people under the age of 40 who have/had cancer and none of them smoke, rarely drink and are not obese. It can't just be down to lifestyle otherwise children wouldn't get cancer.

OP posts:
pepperaunt · 13/05/2023 09:50

My DM (life-long non-smoker) died of lung cancer. I find myself adding “but she never smoked” any time I tell people just so she wouldn’t be judged.

Anonymouseposter · 13/05/2023 10:21

I think some people are frightened by the idea that they can’t control everything. Not cancer, but I have an autoimmune issue that led to lung fibrosis and removal of part of one lung. I was walking up a hill to the shops with a colleague ( who knows this) and couldn’t talk at the same time. Can’t you join a gym or something, she said. She’s a clinical psychologist. I wonder if she thinks CBT can solve everything?

HowDoYouDoWhatYouDoToMeIWishIKnew · 13/05/2023 10:26

I currently have cancer, actually just had my first round of chemo.

Never smoked, very rarely drink, I've put in a tonne of weight recently due to the type I have, but before that I was OK.

It makes people feel in control to say that it's totally caused by lifestyle, its the same type of person who reads about a tragic accident and says "I would never..... so that wouldn't happen to me". Some people can't cope with the idea that bad shit happens at random to all types of people and it could be any of us next.

CheekNerveGallAudacityandGumption · 13/05/2023 13:20

KimberleyClark · 12/05/2023 14:56

I think generally the younger you are when it strikes the more aggressive it is. Old people can go on for years with it. More men die with prostate cancer than die of it.

Show quote history

That’s very interesting and anecdotally from my life I do see this happening.

anonymous98 · 16/05/2023 15:24

Anonymouseposter · 13/05/2023 10:21

I think some people are frightened by the idea that they can’t control everything. Not cancer, but I have an autoimmune issue that led to lung fibrosis and removal of part of one lung. I was walking up a hill to the shops with a colleague ( who knows this) and couldn’t talk at the same time. Can’t you join a gym or something, she said. She’s a clinical psychologist. I wonder if she thinks CBT can solve everything?

Agree. I think it's comforting to believe that 'if I do/don't do X. Y won't happen.'

My mother also has serious autoimmune problems and the number of people suggesting mindfulness 😐

Bignanna · 10/05/2024 14:55

Treesoutsidemywindow · 10/05/2023 21:08

Your colleague is talking out of their backside! Yes, things like smoking, being overweight, etc., can contribute to cancer, but they are definitely NOT the sole cause, and next time she starts pontificating, I'd tell her to shut her mouth before she causes serious offence, but that's just me.

Why do you think things like smoking can’t be the sole cause of cancer, when surely it is more than possible that they are?

carerlookingtochangejob · 10/05/2024 17:56

I'm obese and have endometrial cancer. Both were caused by the hormones I have had pumped into me since the age of 18 to 'manage' my PCOS.
I'm sure many people blame me for my cancer for being fat. But to hell with them

Valeriekat · 11/05/2024 13:02

LouLou198 · 10/05/2023 21:10

Have they never heard of the BRCA gene?

Exactly

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