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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to resent putting someone up for Eurovision

33 replies

Mossley · 10/05/2023 18:14

I live in Liverpool and obviously Eurovision is on. Well, I'm part of a social group and through the group I've met someone socially a couple of times over the last two years, they live in another part of the country.

Nothing romantic, just sociable and they are lovely and well mannered etc. Recently, they contacted me out the blue to ask me would it be possible to stay with me for Eurovision as they had applied and were working at the event. I know they have struggled with employment and money over the last few years. Anyway I said yes on that basis, and they are staying with me for the week.

All good, they have arrived and as ever, very pleasant etc. What I hadn't realised, is they have only been given two shifts at Eurovision and more than that, the role they are undertaking is voluntary and so they are with me 6 days but only working 2 (unpaid) and I feel like it's really just a jolly for them which I hadn't guessed.

I work from home and I've given them the study where I normally work from and moved into the box room to do my work which is extremely cramped but that's copeable. Where it's really challenged me is that I've lived for a long time on my own and I'm used to my own company but they are very 'needy' and follow me from room to room to chat which I've found exhausting, even when working they have heard me come off a work call and so immediately come into the temporary study to initiate a conversation and I have to spend the time prizing them out so I can resume work.

This morning I was about to take a work call and they spoke to me to say they were using the bathroom (all fine) but I finished the call and they were still in the bathroom and still in the shower and I'd been on the call 50 minutes, they then went out for a jog (they are really into keep fit) came back and got in the shower again !!!!

Am I being petty to think that's a bit much? It's really challenged me from the point of view that I recognise, I've become really set in my ways and so compromise is difficult for me and this has really highlighted it.

What has also transpired is that they told me their closest friend of 30 years lives in Liverpool and they are going to stay with them at the weekend but it's been so nice to stay with me because I have a lovely house in a much nicer area -

Please be honest, am I an inflexible stubborn, petty old misery or are they just taking the mickey a little? To their credit they brought wine and brought some milk back today and so I'm wondering whether I am in fact just being uncharitable?

OP posts:
LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 10/05/2023 18:17

You are possibly less sociable than average, but they are definitely on the CF side of the middle line. Tell them to leave you alone during working hours especially.

EmmaEmerald · 10/05/2023 18:19

I think that's a piss take
I'd never ask anyone to put me up while I did a fun activity, unless it was my mum!

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 10/05/2023 18:19

That does sound a bit like taking the proverbial. TBH I would have given them the box room. Sounds like they are rather too comfortable. But following you around sounds beyond annoying.

tulippa · 10/05/2023 18:21

They need to get out of the house while you're working. There's loads of stuff going on the city at the moment so they shouldn't be bored.

NeedToChangeName · 10/05/2023 18:22

They asked if they could stay a week. You said Yes. You can't blame them for taking you at your word. If a week is too long, you should have said so

Following you around is annoying

TheMarzipanDildo · 10/05/2023 18:24

Only for a week OP, only for a week

Jellywobblescobbles · 10/05/2023 18:24

I understand you are used to living alone and enjoy not usually having someone else in your space. I would explain over dinner to your friend that you absolutely need alone time during the day whilst you’re working and suggest they keep busy, go out and about, to parks and to free museums etc. It’s their responsibility to do that, not yours. Hopefully they will act on it.

AtrociousCircumstance · 10/05/2023 18:26

Oh tell them to piss off. You’re being used.

RoseBucket · 10/05/2023 18:28

Have you also been feeding them because that would annoy me!

LlynTegid · 10/05/2023 18:28

If they had no-one else they knew nearby, just not being nice to you. In their case, being cheeky and unreasonable.

Don't tell Boris Johnson there are nice areas in Liverpool, he won't believe you.

RoseBucket · 10/05/2023 18:29

To add they should at least shout you a nice takeaway.

MooseBreath · 10/05/2023 18:34

I think you are being a bit unreasonable and your friend is being a bit of a pisstaker. You agreed to a week, and they are working (albeit voluntarily, but it still looks good on a CV). They are clearly grateful and have brought a thank you gift. It doesn't really matter where they're staying on the weekend after they've left your house. That said, they are being annoying and the hour+ of showering is not on.

0nloop · 10/05/2023 19:37

Your being used. This is one of the reasons I have no real friends and few acquaintances people often mistake kindness for being an easy target. I think make it clear this is the last time you an extend your home as a hotel to this particular person.

EsmeSusanOgg · 10/05/2023 19:41

50 minute shower! Jesus! No. YANBU for that alone.

mainsfed · 10/05/2023 19:43

Next time say no! I’d hate this.

2bazookas · 10/05/2023 20:19

I think it's time to say casually "Of course, I'm not going to charge you for a week's lodgings but a little contribution would be very welcome." Fix her with a steely eye.

She won't give you a bean but she might hurriedly announce she's off to stay with friend.

2bazookas · 10/05/2023 20:26

EsmeSusanOgg · 10/05/2023 19:41

50 minute shower! Jesus! No. YANBU for that alone.

We once had an American guest who took over our ONLY bathroom to shower for over an hour after breakfast while three toddlers had to use a brimming potty and DH urgently needed to get ready for work.

Suddenly she appeared in a cloud of steam and said "The plumbing is broken, there's no water".
DH, absolutely straightfaced, replied " The well must have run dry".

He'd turned off the mains water stopcock.

Rightsraptor · 10/05/2023 20:53

They are piss takers, OP, and I'd be furious at the shower situation. What is that going to cost? Horrific amounts of money.

I'm the same, I've got so used to living alone when someone else is here, I feel a bit on edge and am glad to see them go, tbh. That's without them being cheeky fuckers, like your guests are.

Original poster
Mossley · 11/05/2023 13:02

I have, yes, but they've eaten very little really, I've only cooked twice..................

OP posts:
Original poster
Mossley · 11/05/2023 13:04

I don't think BJ would be very welcome in Liverpool :-)
I love my city and i love where i live the atmosphere in the CC is amazing at the moment, it's buzzing.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mossley · 11/05/2023 13:05

I think my well might be running dry soon too !

OP posts:
Original poster
Mossley · 11/05/2023 13:06

Thanks for giving some balance.

OP posts:
Flufferblub · 11/05/2023 13:06

Learn from this and don't do it again

Flufferblub · 11/05/2023 13:06

Learn from this and don't do it again

Original poster
Mossley · 11/05/2023 13:07

I know, I'm on a water meter too !

OP posts: