AIBU to resent putting someone up for Eurovision

[Mossley]

I live in Liverpool and obviously Eurovision is on. Well, I'm part of a social group and through the group I've met someone socially a couple of times over the last two years, they live in another part of the country.

Nothing romantic, just sociable and they are lovely and well mannered etc. Recently, they contacted me out the blue to ask me would it be possible to stay with me for Eurovision as they had applied and were working at the event. I know they have struggled with employment and money over the last few years. Anyway I said yes on that basis, and they are staying with me for the week.

All good, they have arrived and as ever, very pleasant etc. What I hadn't realised, is they have only been given two shifts at Eurovision and more than that, the role they are undertaking is voluntary and so they are with me 6 days but only working 2 (unpaid) and I feel like it's really just a jolly for them which I hadn't guessed.

I work from home and I've given them the study where I normally work from and moved into the box room to do my work which is extremely cramped but that's copeable. Where it's really challenged me is that I've lived for a long time on my own and I'm used to my own company but they are very 'needy' and follow me from room to room to chat which I've found exhausting, even when working they have heard me come off a work call and so immediately come into the temporary study to initiate a conversation and I have to spend the time prizing them out so I can resume work.

This morning I was about to take a work call and they spoke to me to say they were using the bathroom (all fine) but I finished the call and they were still in the bathroom and still in the shower and I'd been on the call 50 minutes, they then went out for a jog (they are really into keep fit) came back and got in the shower again !!!!

Am I being petty to think that's a bit much? It's really challenged me from the point of view that I recognise, I've become really set in my ways and so compromise is difficult for me and this has really highlighted it.

What has also transpired is that they told me their closest friend of 30 years lives in Liverpool and they are going to stay with them at the weekend but it's been so nice to stay with me because I have a lovely house in a much nicer area -

Please be honest, am I an inflexible stubborn, petty old misery or are they just taking the mickey a little? To their credit they brought wine and brought some milk back today and so I'm wondering whether I am in fact just being uncharitable?

If you didn't want put out why did you say yes?
You seem to have somehow thought they would never be in and never speak to you

Guests are guests and if you agree to have a guest you agree to be a host and assume you would need to engage and share facilities.

I voted Yabu because some of this is in your control and you dont need to put up with all of this. Just tell them you are indisturbable if behind a closed door. And it is just a week. They didnt know you expected them to be in paid employment and you didnt ask so I think you ick that one up. They probably thought you were being nice and friendly and didnt realise you were taking pity on them.

But from their behaviour it's clear why they may struggle to hold down a job because they do sound very annoying.

Hi OP, bless you, I feel like this could easily be me (except that my house is a constant tip from the kids so no one would ever think it was a desirable option!)

They are being cheeky, no doubt. But you are also being a doormat. I think it would have been fine at any point - even now - to mention that you have a few house rules that you'd like them to observe:
putting a 10 min alarm on for a shower since you're on the meter
not interrupting you in your office while you're working
explain that you'd love for them to explore the city but can't take time off to show them around - go over some guidebooks with them, tell them where the bus goes from, etc - and see if you can give them the confidence to get out of your hair

you could also mention that it'd be nice for you if they cooked a meal one night (you don't say that's an issue but it's a long stay if you are cooking every dinner!)

It is a life skill to communicate well when you're feeling frustrated - change the situation to get your needs met in real life, rather than complain afterwards/behind the person's back. We all make mistakes and I can certainly be obtuse myself given half a chance...

In your shoes I'd try to express what you need to make the rest of the stay better than it's been. Wish you the best of luck!

You're doing ever so slightly better than me, OP, who welcomed a New Zealander for 'a couple of nights' on his way through the UK. After a week of him sitting around or in bed all day on his phone I said to him 'You're just staying here because it's a free option and you've got nowhere better to go, aren't you?' and to be fair, he said yes. On day 16, after innumerable broken promises to leave, I bought him a bus ticket to London — with him arguing that he'd prefer to go by train at four times the price. We've never heard from him again and his parents, with whom I used to be friends, haven't contacted me either.

I hear you OP. I am glumly anticipating the arrival of my brother-in-law, who is both very boring and quite entitled, for a 2 week stay. He is married to DH's sister so DH apologetically takes full responsibility for his coming and will do his best to deal with him. I plan to be out a lot....

One quick shower a day is perfectly reasonable to state and the offer to help them pack if it doesn't suit.

I think you have been played by someone you barely know!

CF said they were going to be coming for 6 days for work. It’s is not obvious why OP thought they might be, you know, out working and not interrupting OPs own working day?

I like his direct action!