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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give my kids (age 5 and 3) after school/nursery?

45 replies

what2eat · 09/05/2023 19:33

I am really struggling with this! I'm SO sick of throwing away most of their meals, then eating a few bites then wanting weetabix before bed an hour later.
I'm literally at my wits end.

What do you do for your kids after school if they have a hot dinner at school for lunch?

Do you then give them another full dinner at home or do you just do a sandwich or something?

I hate forcing them to eat I feel it has unhealthy associations but equally they don't seem to know when they are hungry/full!!

OP posts:
DucksNewburyport · 09/05/2023 19:35

Make the kind of things that can be frozen easily and give them small portions (plus a second helping if they want one) so that you're not throwing much away.

Kanaloa · 09/05/2023 19:36

Well if they reject the food then want food later could you just offer the food later in the evening? Might be a bit obvious.

SoupedUpSue · 09/05/2023 19:37

Maybe small snack after school then dinner an hour later?

I will say that if it’s driving you mad give yourself a week off and just give them weetabix. A week of weetabix for dinner won’t kill them (maybe serve with fruit and yoghurt or something).

TimeForTeaAndG · 09/05/2023 19:38

What time are they eating that they

Garethkeenansstapler · 09/05/2023 19:38

Just do the weetabix to start with! No point making your life any harder than it needs to be. If they’re having hot lunch at nursery then you’re just switching lunch and dinner.

Mash a banana and stir it in, or add blueberries/raspberries or whatever for some extra nutritional value.

TimeForTeaAndG · 09/05/2023 19:39

Sorry, pressed post by accident.

What time are they eating that they are not then hungry for dinner? Can you do dinner later?

Sissynova · 09/05/2023 19:40

If they’re at school I would do dinner as the day is shorter.
I only do a heavy snack when it’s nursery though as they have a hot meal for lunch and also a supper before they go home.

TokenGinger · 09/05/2023 19:44

I remember in an evening after school, we'd have things like beans/spaghetti on toast, cheese on toast with a yogurt or something.

I follow my DS's lead. Sometimes he comes from from pre-school and is ravenous and has extra portions of food. But I'll always ask him first. Tonight he said he wasn't very hungry, so just asked for a snack, so he had two scotch pancakes, a yogurt, a fruit pouch, and meat slices. He just picked at it over the course of an hour whilst playing with his toys etc. I checked his nursery log and he ate all of his lunch, plus they had jacket potato for afternoon "snack" so I don't feel guilty. I'd rather know he's got something in him, if he doesn't feel up to a full meal.

DP and I don't eat until a little later so if he did want a meal by that point, he's welcome to one (and sometimes does choose to join us).

I'm not sure if that makes me sound like a walkover, but basically what I mean is, when we get home, if he's super hungry, I'll make his evening meal then. If he says he's still full from lunch and snack, then we just do a small plate of snack foods he can pick from, then there's a meal option later on - sometimes he wants it, other times he's too full.

Wicksytricksy · 09/05/2023 19:47

Both mine get lunch and dinner at nursery/after school club so I do them a sandwich or wrap with some veg and a few crisps or bread sticks when they come home. On the one day DD is back from school at normal time (3pm) she has a quick snack (fruit and a biscuit) and then a hot dinner at 6pm.

Original poster
what2eat · 09/05/2023 19:50

Thanks for the replies, ok to answer questions, they get home at about 16:10.
Finish school/nursery at 15:50.

They have lunch at nursery at 12:30, school at 13:00.

So when I pick them up they get a snack in the car, a banana or crisps usually.

Then home and they are often still hungry.
But, we all eat together at 5. In fact I think this might be where I'm going wrong.
Maybe I'll change to eat as a family on the weekends and do snack plates. I just hate making separate meals!

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 09/05/2023 19:50

My kids have a small snack after school and a proper meal at 6 with DH and I.

Original poster
what2eat · 09/05/2023 19:50

@TokenGinger I really like this attitude/plan, thanks. Maybe I'll do more of that kind of thing and as soon as they get in, then weetabix before bed maybe

OP posts:
Tellmeimcrazy · 09/05/2023 19:52

I don't give a snack after school it's dinner only, and if they don't eat their dinner, tough luck no way do they get cereal or weetabix they can have fruit. I did the weetabix/cereal thing and they knew they were getting it so didn't bother with dinner. Now they know! If they eat their dinner well they can have whatever treat they want for dessert after

Garethkeenansstapler · 09/05/2023 19:52

So when I pick them up they get a snack in the car, a banana or crisps usually.

Ah, there’s the problem.

Original poster
what2eat · 09/05/2023 19:52

@Oysterbabe how old are your kids?
I like this idea but mine are usually getting ready for bed by 6.

OP posts:
coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 09/05/2023 19:53

5pm is very early to have the last meal of the day - can you not move that a bit later?

Sanch1 · 09/05/2023 19:53

Mine have a hot dinner at school, AB's I on the walk home at 3.15 like crisps or fruit, then a light tea at 5/530 such as beans on toast, bagels, egg on toast, 'bits n bobs' etc

UnbeIievabIe · 09/05/2023 19:54

5pm is early no wonder they are not hungry after snacking in the car as well. 6pm for bed is also early but your choice obviously.

Shookethtothecore · 09/05/2023 19:54

Mine eat tea pretty much as soon as they get in from school at 4pm. Then if they are hungry they have their snack later. I got sick of starving children snacking then refusing meals so I flipped it round

AlltheFs · 09/05/2023 19:56

DD has Lunch at 12 and Tea at 4 at nursery-lunch is hot meal, 2 courses.

We do snack when she gets home at 6, then bed at 7.30.

GoodChat · 09/05/2023 19:57

Scrap the snack and eat at 5:30

prescribingmum · 09/05/2023 19:58

5 and 6 year old here and both have full meal as soon as they come home from school (no snacks allowed). Although they are served a hot meal at school, they don’t necessarily eat big enough portions with all the distractions. Very rarely have any problems with them finishing food.

They are given a snack before bed if they ask but now are in the routine and rarely have more than a piece of fruit

Original poster
what2eat · 09/05/2023 19:58

@Shookethtothecore this is exactly my issue!!!!
Ok so maybe dinner as soon as they get home then snack later!

They don't go to bed at 6 sorry, they go upstairs for bath/quiet play etc and then bed at 7 for story.

OP posts:
MathsNervous · 09/05/2023 19:59

Shookethtothecore · 09/05/2023 19:54

Mine eat tea pretty much as soon as they get in from school at 4pm. Then if they are hungry they have their snack later. I got sick of starving children snacking then refusing meals so I flipped it round

Same. Have been having tea at 4pm for years. It is all prepped when they are at school.

Weedoormatnomore · 09/05/2023 20:00

My kids used to have dinner about 4.30pm as where hungry I used to batch cook at weekends so was easy to do dinner quickly.