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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not give my kids (age 5 and 3) after school/nursery?

45 replies

what2eat · 09/05/2023 19:33

I am really struggling with this! I'm SO sick of throwing away most of their meals, then eating a few bites then wanting weetabix before bed an hour later.
I'm literally at my wits end.

What do you do for your kids after school if they have a hot dinner at school for lunch?

Do you then give them another full dinner at home or do you just do a sandwich or something?

I hate forcing them to eat I feel it has unhealthy associations but equally they don't seem to know when they are hungry/full!!

OP posts:

MathsNervous · 09/05/2023 20:00

Supper 6pm for my DC. Cereals, cheeses, fruit etc.

namechange3394 · 09/05/2023 20:02

Garethkeenansstapler · 09/05/2023 19:52

So when I pick them up they get a snack in the car, a banana or crisps usually.

Ah, there’s the problem.

This.

They don't finish school til 3:50 - so you're giving them a big snack at 4 and then trying to feed them tea an hour later.

I give DC a snack in the car on the way home when I pick them up at 3:30, but that's cos we don't eat til between 6 and 6:30!

Either early tea, then bedtime snack, or snack at pickup then later tea is the way to go I think!

Piony · 09/05/2023 20:03

Sandwich is fine IMO if they have had a hot lunch. Or microwave potato & cheese, beans on toast, that kind of thing.

I found this much easier than cooking for everyone every day. It comes towards you - there is plenty of time to eat all together when they are a bit older.

SimonsCow · 09/05/2023 20:06

Mine get home at 5 and dinner straight away. Get rid of the snack or have an apple/grapes rather than something that fills them up

soundsys · 09/05/2023 20:08

Wicksytricksy · 09/05/2023 19:47

Both mine get lunch and dinner at nursery/after school club so I do them a sandwich or wrap with some veg and a few crisps or bread sticks when they come home. On the one day DD is back from school at normal time (3pm) she has a quick snack (fruit and a biscuit) and then a hot dinner at 6pm.

This is what we do, too

BloodyInternetWeirdos · 09/05/2023 20:13

Weedoormatnomore · 09/05/2023 20:00

My kids used to have dinner about 4.30pm as where hungry I used to batch cook at weekends so was easy to do dinner quickly.

Same here.

School meals are actually really small so they would eat a full meal then, if hungry a bit later, cereal or toast for supper.

Oysterbabe · 09/05/2023 20:15

what2eat · 09/05/2023 19:52

@Oysterbabe how old are your kids?
I like this idea but mine are usually getting ready for bed by 6.

Mine are 5 and 7.

Shookethtothecore · 09/05/2023 20:18

It just works.

my eldest is a teen now and he has his tea later as he can now manage himself better and not come home ravenous ect. So as the years went on with him I just pushed his tea time back as he got older.
but my little ones have an early tea. Then if they are hungry later (which they always are) I don’t mind the snacks as they have had a decent meal.

Im not cooking all evening either. It’s either batch cook stuff that can be plated up and heated or I plate everyone’s up at 4ish and it gets warmed up when the older one wants it.

Ungratefulorunreasonable · 09/05/2023 20:35

Mine do no car snack, but a snacky tea when they get home (usually sandwich, fruit and veg sticks). Then Weetabix, porridge or toast before bed. We eat together at weekends, it just doesn't work after school.

swanling · 09/05/2023 20:38

what2eat · 09/05/2023 19:58

@Shookethtothecore this is exactly my issue!!!!
Ok so maybe dinner as soon as they get home then snack later!

They don't go to bed at 6 sorry, they go upstairs for bath/quiet play etc and then bed at 7 for story.

Why do they need any snack?

Justalittlebitduckling · 09/05/2023 20:42

This is mean but the first thing I do is open their lunch box and offer them the bits they didn’t eat during the day!

GoodChat · 09/05/2023 20:44

Justalittlebitduckling · 09/05/2023 20:42

This is mean but the first thing I do is open their lunch box and offer them the bits they didn’t eat during the day!

They're having hot dinners at school

Original poster

what2eat · 09/05/2023 20:58

@swanling because they would both have a meltdown with hunger if they didn't

OP posts:

gogohmm · 09/05/2023 21:11

Mine had a biscuit after school at 3.40 ish then dinner at 6.30

Hocuspocusnonsense · 09/05/2023 21:11

Mine have hot lunch at school (age 6 and 7) then raid the cupboards after school and will eat a pack of mini cheddars, strawberries, yoghurt, before I’m telling to stop stop eating! Then they will eat another hot meal eg sausage and mash or jacket potato and then they want a bedtime snack eg bowl of cereal. It is non stop!

CatOnTheChair · 09/05/2023 21:12

What about weetabix when they get home from school, the dinner with you and DH at 5.30?

I think crisps or banana at 4 (and I know why you do this!), then dinner an hour later is asking for it not to be eaten.
The 5pm food needs to go. How you spilt the food choices between 4pm and 6pm is up to you.

gogohmm · 09/05/2023 21:13

@what2eat

Why do early to bed, do they have to go to breakfast club at school? Mine went to bed 7.30/8 pm

Rainbow1901 · 09/05/2023 21:13

We look after our two of our GS after school twice a week and they have their tea around half an hour to an hour after they come in. They used to have a snack until we realised they kept going back to the snack box ad infinitum and then would not eat their tea. So now they have a decent tea and their plates are cleared completely and they also have dessert such a fruit or ice cream. If they are hungry when they reach home then they can have supper, snack or top up with whatever Mum and Dad are having for tea before they go to bed. For the record they have hollow legs!!

BubblinTrouble · 09/05/2023 21:37

DD has tea at 3.30pm at nursery and this can be really filling! We don’t offer her anything in the way of snacks when she’s home but we always have dinner ready for when she gets in 5pm. We ask her when she wants dinner. At 5pm she isn’t usually hungry but by 6pm she does eat something. She has the option of dinner or a filling snack (banana is usually our go to). I’m wondering if they’re hungry can you just offer them dinner when they get in and then if still hungry leftover dinner OR the snack then?

quirkyquerty · 09/05/2023 22:26

I also have a 5 and 3 year old, who have hot dinners at school and nursery.

They're both hungry by the time they get home at 4ish, they have a snack like fruit or yogurt or crisps or crackers.

I do dinner for 5.30ish, whatever me and DH plan on eating later, we all sit down and me and DH have a tiny portion and that seems to encourage them eat. Homework then pudding usually. Sometimes they eat it all and want seconds, other times they're not fussed at all.

I'm not confident that they're eating lots at school and nursery though, despite having hot meals. One is a bit fussy, the other seems to live off fresh air lol.

Bed time at 6.30 here and they're always snoring before 7- schools tiring for a five year old isn't it?!

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