Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AA lied! WWYD?

261 replies

misstrot · 09/05/2023 12:48

I am FUMING! Lies! OMG-please read-sorry it's long-I need advice!
DD (20) hit a small piece of debris on motorway on the way home from uni on the motorway. Car seemed ok but next time she took it out it overheated so we called AA. Patrolman said everything was fine-it just needed oil and water (he filled water but we had to go get the oil) Now DD is a bit nervy driving so she asked was he sure it was ok to drive back to uni (2 hr drive) and he assured her-yes. Then I asked him and he said he 'wouldn't send a young girl onto the motorway in the car if he didn't believe the car was perfectly safe and roadworthy' Enter DH who asks him is he sure ok-doesn't need to be checked at the garage as his DD is very precious and he wants her to be safe etc-again AA reiterates 'all safe-all roadworthy-doesn't need anything doing"- I follow him to the van to input my email/sign attendance from and he tells me no need.
You guessed it-she goes back to uni and breaks down on the M4 in bad weather (it takes 5+ hours for them to send a recovery truck and she is traumatised!)
We get the car delivered back here and ask a local garage to come and look. The garage owner states the car had a severe water leak (the AA didn't pressure test the system) which has caused car to overheat and blown the head gasket-so dead. Bearing in mind DD worked and saved up all summer and only bought the car in August- from a reputable National chain and paid £4000 (it's a little mini) she is devastated.
Ok, so we send report to AA and ask for compensation/new (2nd hand) engine for car. They send an 'Independant Assessor' (paid for by AA and does most of his work for AA so not really independent!?) who literally spends 4 mins taking photos -opens the bonnet and says the head gasket has gone and leaves. His report states that it was our fault for driving it as the head gasket had gone (for clarity it was fine before-no smoke from exhaust and only had a full service and 120 point check in August etc)
The AA then state the patrolman informed us that the car was not roadworthy and should be taken to a garage so they don't hold liability!!!!!! WTF! A complete LIE and 360 on what he said to us. Sadly too late to download Ring doorbell footage to support us -as its gone and he never sent us an emailed report stating what he did or advised-normal protocol. Help! What can I do?

OP posts:
YaWeeFurryBastard · 09/05/2023 17:51

Enter DH who asks him is he sure ok-doesn't need to be checked at the garage as his DD is very precious and he wants her to be safe

He was probably eyerolling so hard at this he gave the wrong info 😂😂

Seriously though sorry to hear this OP, probably worth seeing if you can take it any further as I agree it doesn’t sound right.

Original poster
misstrot · 09/05/2023 17:51

Honeyroar · 09/05/2023 16:10

Can I ask a question OP - I’m not sure whether it’s actually been said whether the AA man visited when the car had gone over the debris or later on at home? I once had the RAC out to my car at home because I wasn’t sure it was running right or safe to drive a long way without breaking down. They included it as one of my breakdown call outs (this was 20 years ago) but said they could only comment on what they saw on the day. Would this be what happened this time? Was the engine perhaps cold and therefore not losing water at that point - perhaps the crack/damage was bigger when the engine was warm and running, and therefore started leaking again? Just trying to get my head around what happened.

Yes, he visited at home after the debris scenario -but when it consequently started to overheat. He did get my daughter to drive it round the block -but yes maybe not ‘hot’ enough I don’t know!
Had he said it was iffy or he didn’t know what was up then I’d have asked him to tow it to the garage-obviously if he HAD said this she wouldn’t have merrily driven off down the motorway!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
misstrot · 09/05/2023 17:53

SofiaSoFar · 09/05/2023 16:41

The AA don't collect working cars and take them to a garage for you.

They try to fix broken down vehicles and if they can't, they recover them to your home or a garage.

They do breakdown and recovery. They're not a concierge service for drivers.

Show quote history

They do actually- my car was making a knocking noise and I rang them as I wasn’t sure if safe to drive and they weren’t sure either so towed it to be safe!

OP posts:
Boujee11 · 09/05/2023 17:53

I’m not sure why you are getting such a hard time, the AA isn’t just always for breakdowns these days, if you have the cover they will come to your home for repairs as well. I just had a new battery fitted by them, it was cheaper and more convenient than going to a garage. Before they changed it they did diagnostics on the old battery to ensure that was the problem. I would have been very annoyed if they had told me the battery wasn’t the issue then it turned out that it was especially if it then caused extensive damage to my car!

Also breaking down on the motorway is unnerving, especially in the dark and bad weather and with no phone battery? I drive a lot and have broken down before in the dark, felt very vulnerable, it is a stressful situation. Why did the AA take so long to reach her? They usually prioritise female drivers and on motorways even more so.

The point I would be pushing with the AA is the lack of signed report. I would call again to ensure they have a record of coming to your home, then follow up asking for this. I’m not sure if you’ve said if you signed anything? You should have signed their device to say you were satisfied and this would be emailed to you. Keep asking them if you don’t have this.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 09/05/2023 17:55

misstrot · 09/05/2023 17:53

They do actually- my car was making a knocking noise and I rang them as I wasn’t sure if safe to drive and they weren’t sure either so towed it to be safe!

Show quote history

But that's the point PP are trying to make.

In your scenario, the AA weren't sure that your car was safe to drive, therefore they towed it to the garage to be safe. That's their job.

In your DD's case, they saw that the car was driveable so they were under no obligation to take it to the garage. That's your DD's job.

Boujee11 · 09/05/2023 17:59

@coffeecupsandwaxmelts but they said it was fine and it wasn’t? If the AA guy had said my car didn’t have a problem and it appeared to be fixed by topping up the coolant, I wouldn’t then take it to another garage, why would I? It sounds like the next time the problem occurred it was basically too late?

Original poster
misstrot · 09/05/2023 18:03

rumbusiness · 09/05/2023 17:30

In fact, I think this whole thing is you and your husband trying to shift the blame and responsibility. I'm sure he did say that - I don't doubt your story

But a responsible parent would have got it checked out anyway (or got your daughter to get it checked out). You know you should have done that, you know it was irresponsible of you to take his word for it, and now you're putting all of that anger on to the AA (who no doubt are lying through their teeth) rather than acknowledging your own responsibility and feelings of guilt.

Lol -you sound like a barrel of laughs!
we don’t feel guilty- we also weren’t irresponsible… her car was overheating (garages all shut btw as it was a weekend) so we responsibly asked the AA for assistance. They are supposed to be professional qualified mechanics- had he had any doubts she’d have had to get the train and it would have gone to a garage-but he assured us it was fine. Yes I’m angry- angry he is now lying that’s it!

OP posts:
Original poster
misstrot · 09/05/2023 18:04

LisaVanderpump1 · 09/05/2023 17:25

I've been there. It is dangerous and not fun for sure. But traumatising is a bit of a stretch. Being robbed at gunpoint is traumatising. Assault is traumatising. Your car breaking down is really just an inconvenience. Sorry, but language is important, and it's setting your daughter up for failure to encourage her to believe that things like this in life are any more than a bit of a PITA.

Show quote history

Ok maybe ‘traumatised’ was the wrong choice of word… but doesn’t change the situation.

OP posts:
Original poster
misstrot · 09/05/2023 18:06

LisaVanderpump1 · 09/05/2023 17:34

I'm sure she might be, but why? Either 1) daughter is "traumatised" in which case she needs to get a bit of a grip or 2) OP is being hyperbolic to create drama and she needs to get a grip. Why create a mountain out a molehill?

Show quote history

Again… sorry the word traumatised has annoyed everyone! Obviously wrong choice of word! Really upset!? Better?!

OP posts:
Willmafrockfit · 09/05/2023 18:08

i put the heater on when the temperature goes up, it cools it down.
until i can get water in or something

rumbusiness · 09/05/2023 18:08

misstrot · 09/05/2023 18:03

Lol -you sound like a barrel of laughs!
we don’t feel guilty- we also weren’t irresponsible… her car was overheating (garages all shut btw as it was a weekend) so we responsibly asked the AA for assistance. They are supposed to be professional qualified mechanics- had he had any doubts she’d have had to get the train and it would have gone to a garage-but he assured us it was fine. Yes I’m angry- angry he is now lying that’s it!

Show quote history

Lol -you sound like a barrel of laughs!

What a bizarre and unfounded personal attack. Sorry you didn't like me pointing out the reality of the situation.

we don’t feel guilty- we also weren’t irresponsible…

You should - you were.

My eldest daughter is a few years younger than yours. If she starts driving at 17/18, no way would I be sending her off alone on a long motorway journey in a car that had been involved in an incident and was overheating without getting it properly checked out.

(garages all shut btw as it was a weekend)

Then you wait until they reopen.

so we responsibly asked the AA for assistance. They are supposed to be professional qualified mechanics- had he had any doubts she’d have had to get the train and it would have gone to a garage-but he assured us it was fine. Yes I’m angry- angry he is now lying that’s it!

You should be angry at yourself and your husband for putting your daughter in that situation.

And without written proof of what he said, why should anyone believe your story?

Explainitplease · 09/05/2023 18:10

I’ve not rtft as I got cross with the unhelpful comments at the start.

But please do email AA and ask them for a copy of the report - they will not be able to provide it as you didn’t sign it. Then ask them what their process it when called out. Likely that their process is that they require signature after call out. Referring back to the fact they can’t provide your signed report I would then complain. Do it all in writing, do nothing by phone. They are regulated by FCA so assume there will be Ombudsman rights for you/your daughter (whoever holds the policy) if they don’t respond adequately/you don’t agree with the response.

(Have to say, clearly all those who don’t consider a hard shoulder wait in the rain to be horrible, must be robots.)

A34 · 09/05/2023 18:13

Explainitplease · 09/05/2023 18:10

I’ve not rtft as I got cross with the unhelpful comments at the start.

But please do email AA and ask them for a copy of the report - they will not be able to provide it as you didn’t sign it. Then ask them what their process it when called out. Likely that their process is that they require signature after call out. Referring back to the fact they can’t provide your signed report I would then complain. Do it all in writing, do nothing by phone. They are regulated by FCA so assume there will be Ombudsman rights for you/your daughter (whoever holds the policy) if they don’t respond adequately/you don’t agree with the response.

(Have to say, clearly all those who don’t consider a hard shoulder wait in the rain to be horrible, must be robots.)

Being OK (if not absolutely relishing) with being stuck on the hard shoulder of a busy motorway is becoming another 'cool Mumsnet' thing, like the chicken feeding a family of 6 for a month.

electriclight · 09/05/2023 18:13

Well you are furious and pushing for compensation so I'm not surprised he's lying tbh.

But even if he admitted it, they wouldn't have to compensate you. He gave you his best advice at the time. He didn't intend for your dd to break down dangerously on a motorway. It is awful for her, and annoying, but you won't get anything out of AA.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 09/05/2023 18:15

Boujee11 · 09/05/2023 17:59

@coffeecupsandwaxmelts but they said it was fine and it wasn’t? If the AA guy had said my car didn’t have a problem and it appeared to be fixed by topping up the coolant, I wouldn’t then take it to another garage, why would I? It sounds like the next time the problem occurred it was basically too late?

But it was fine when they looked at it - they even got the DD to drive it round the block to make sure. There was nothing (visibly) wrong with it.

It's not the job of the AA to take a driveable car to the garage. That's for the owner to do.

The fact that it broke down again several hours later is annoying but it's not the AA's fault.

Original poster
misstrot · 09/05/2023 18:19

rumbusiness · 09/05/2023 18:08

Lol -you sound like a barrel of laughs!

What a bizarre and unfounded personal attack. Sorry you didn't like me pointing out the reality of the situation.

we don’t feel guilty- we also weren’t irresponsible…

You should - you were.

My eldest daughter is a few years younger than yours. If she starts driving at 17/18, no way would I be sending her off alone on a long motorway journey in a car that had been involved in an incident and was overheating without getting it properly checked out.

(garages all shut btw as it was a weekend)

Then you wait until they reopen.

so we responsibly asked the AA for assistance. They are supposed to be professional qualified mechanics- had he had any doubts she’d have had to get the train and it would have gone to a garage-but he assured us it was fine. Yes I’m angry- angry he is now lying that’s it!

You should be angry at yourself and your husband for putting your daughter in that situation.

And without written proof of what he said, why should anyone believe your story?

Show quote history

Hardly unfounded…you have aggressively told me that my DH and I are irresponsible and that we are ‘guilty’ of being so- how else do I take that but as a personal attack?
you weren’t there so don’t know what happened, so unless you have something constructive please don’t respond further- this site is supposed to be supportive and to give helpful feedback- yours is neither

OP posts:
Original poster
misstrot · 09/05/2023 18:20

Wheresthebeach · 09/05/2023 17:24

I would have thought the lack of a report signed by the customer should raise alarm bells.

I'd write, calmly, stating the events. Highlighting that you were told no report was necessary, and surely if the care wasn't fit to drive that they would have had you sign a report saying so.
They have been negligent and incompetent. Start with customer services, then ask for their legal department.

Thankyou for you helpful response!

OP posts:
Thereislightattheendofthetunnel · 09/05/2023 18:22

I am not sure if this has been mentioned yet. I think you should put a formal complaint through the motor ombudsman, perhaps you might have a bit of hope there but you will have to submit some evidence of some sort.
Good luck OP

Jonei · 09/05/2023 18:23

Do you have legal cover with your insurance op? I had a similar thing where the AA basically destroyed my car. It took a long while but I did finally manage to get the money out of them to replace it.

JusthereforXmas · 09/05/2023 18:24

SargentSagittarius · 09/05/2023 14:11

She was stuck on the side of a motorway alone for five hours. Anything could have happened to her.

FML this reminds me why I never start threads on here.

Show quote history

By anything could happen you mean feeling cold, wet, possibly a bit hungry, maybe needing the loo and of course very bored?

Its not a disaster movie as long as she is following standard procedure the chances she is going to be kidnapped or wiped out by a flying semi leaving the road is exceptionally unlikely.

She might be pissed off but traumatized from sitting bored for 5 hours is ridiculous hyperbole.

Original poster
misstrot · 09/05/2023 18:26

bd67thSaysReinstateLangCleg · 09/05/2023 17:39

You are not unreasonable to be angry. I don't think a complaint to AA will get you any money, but make it anyway. I doubt your DD is the first victim of this technician's bullshitting.

The PPs criticising your DD for being frightened by the experience can fuck off. If a van had pulled up, men had got out and forced your DD into the back, and driven off, the drivers of the vehicles passing at 60-80mph would have done what exactly? There's a reason why recovery services are supposed to prioritise lone women: we are at risk of abduction from the hard shoulder. Five hours without a toilet won't have been pleasant either.

The lesson to learn here is for you and your DD to be more mechanically savvy. Get the Haynes book for your vehicle, read online at Honest John and similar places about common faults for that model of car, and be more willing to challenge mechanics. It's hard when you're female because they often talk to you like you're stupid, but it's worth persisting.

Thanks for having some empathy!
I also think you’re right about the Haynes manual- I used to get one for every car when I was a youngster- good idea

OP posts:
Outerlimit · 09/05/2023 18:27

Willmafrockfit · 09/05/2023 18:08

i put the heater on when the temperature goes up, it cools it down.
until i can get water in or something

A good tip, uncomfortable in hot weather, but one that can save the day.

Willmafrockfit · 09/05/2023 18:28

i understood if the head gasket is going the oil looks gungy, surely they would have checked that

Original poster
misstrot · 09/05/2023 18:28

rumbusiness · 09/05/2023 17:28

I don't understand why you took his word for it. I don't drive (fucking hate cars) but even I would have taken it to a garage to get it checked over, rather than taking the word of an AA man whose job is simply to get it started and/or tow you and your car to somewhere you can get it fixed.

Particularly with you and your husband going on about how precious your daughter is and how scary it would be for her to breakdown alone, etc etc.

Surely it's really basic that you would get an actual mechanic/garage to give it a once-over before sending your nervous 18-year-old daughter out on a long motorway drive in a car that had repeatedly fucked up?

A. He was a mechanic- that was the point of calling the AA to establish if safe to drive
b. Every dad thinks his daughter is precious surely?
c. The car had not repeatedly fucked up- it had started to overheat once

OP posts:
littleripper · 09/05/2023 18:29

misstrot · 09/05/2023 16:59

Thanks for your care and support-do you have young adult children?!

Show quote history

Yes 2 DD18 and DS 19. I work with young people aged 14-22. Lack of resilience is a very serious problem for this group at the moment and you need to look at her ability to cope with life events. A break down is inevitable if you drive. As is a crash. It happens to almost every driver at some point and you have to cope with it, and move on.