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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder who decided that customers want small talk at the till in a shop?

319 replies

YouWonJayne · 09/05/2023 12:31

Seriously I want to know their names. Which suits sat in a boardroom and said “Do you know what customers really want? When they’re stressed and frazzled trying the find a plain black shirt and black skirt for a 9 year old’s school play, which BTW are nigh-on impossible to find, when they get to the till they want the assistant to ask what they’re up to this morning and if they’re busy? That will keep customers happy!”

The poor girl on the checkout was trying her best not to look bored as she asked the woman in front of me “Have you got much planned this morning? Do you have a busy day” especially when the woman have details of all the wedding outfits she needed to buy for her grandchildren.

I hope the assistant was relieved when I just gave a “No” when she asked me the same. I really couldn’t be arsed.

I noticed this everywhere now. Is it just me who doesn’t actually want small talk, who just wants to buy my stuff and get on with me day without being a conversationalist extraordinaire? Don’t get me started on upselling! Or the people in Lush who pounce when you’re through the door. It’s completely insufferable.

The worst part is these poor people (probably on minimum wage) get bollocked if they don’t behave this way. I can’t imagine any of them want to behave this way.

I feel like it needs a serious platform, a campaign called Leave Shoppers Alone (half joking) 😂

OP posts:
Puddington · 09/05/2023 13:52

Riapia · 09/05/2023 13:21

All vocal interaction in public should be made an offence.
Is there really any need to say good morning to anyone in public.
Any supermarket cashier attempting to engage me in conversation gets the stock MN reply, ODFOD.

You really tell cashiers to fuck off, do you?

CranfordScones · 09/05/2023 13:53

I knew someone who worked for one of the big supermarkets. She was made to force conversation on to unwilling customers. They got observed and assessed on it, and faced disciplinary procedures if they didn't engage enough. She got a written warning over it. Ridiculous.

girlfriend44 · 09/05/2023 13:53

Do you want to go round like a zombie all day, not talking to anyone?

Nothing wrong with chat and banter. This is an odd suggestion!!

When someone says something like this, I question their personality and their social skills etc?

LadyGaGasPokerFace · 09/05/2023 13:54

I love Aldi and Lidl for this reason. Don’t get me wrong, I love talking to randoms, but when I’ve been at work all week I just want my shopping done in 30minutes maximum and thrown at me at the till.

StrawberrySquash · 09/05/2023 13:57

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 09/05/2023 12:48

When I go to the greengrocer we have an actual chat. She tells me all about her vintage tractors and lack of central heating and why she voted for Brexit.
I like that. Very different from Seasalt where it’s all scripted and tedious and feels both fake and intrusive.

This. I can't be doing with the fakery. Let your staff use their judgement and/or be quiet if they had a rough night and are just trying to get through the day.

Original poster
YouWonJayne · 09/05/2023 14:04

Do you want to go round like a zombie all day, not talking to anyone?

Yes.

OP posts:
CheeseCakeSunflowers · 09/05/2023 14:05

I work on the counters in a supermarket and I do try to work out who wants chat and who doesn't so some will just get a polite, how can I help? I serve them, say thank you as they take their item from me and no more. Others will want a chat, I have a number of regulars so I will ask Mr Sausage Roll man how his recovery from his heart bypass is going, Mrs buttermilk chicken fillets might tell me the latest about her granddaughter or I'll compare how busy it's been that day with the lady from B&M as she buys her lunch. I do try to get it right.

Cupofteaneeded · 09/05/2023 14:07

I used to work in a local museum in a very touristy area. A new manager decided that we had to ask each visitor to complete a “customer satisfaction survey”. Wouldn’t listen when I told him that it wouldn’t go down well! One fairly new, keen member of staff did just what he asked and would accost every single person, even when they were clearly irritated by the intrusion to their looking round, or in a hurry to rejoin their coach. I tried to tell her that you had to gauge whether people wanted to chat and give their opinions, or not but she persisted. We had terrible comments that month as people got fed up at not being left alone.

MammaTo · 09/05/2023 14:08

Working in customer service myself I don’t like small talk because the last thing I want to do off the clock is make more polite conversation.
But on the flip side for some people I could be the only person they have spoken to that day or that week!
You tend to get a vibe of who wants a gab and who doesn’t

sadsack78 · 09/05/2023 14:10

I worked as a cashier for a year or so in my late teens.
It was store policy that I had to be chatty and welcoming to customers and approach them if they were browsing, and because I was cripplingly shy there were a couple of occasions where customers complained that I didn't chat enough and I was reprimanded and had a complaint on my file.
So there you go- the cashier/ shop assistant is not trying to be a PITA and make your life a misery, they are often just trying to keep their job.
But I get it- I am still introverted and trying to make chit-chat makes me want to curl into a tiny hedgehog ball on the floor!

girlfriend44 · 09/05/2023 14:13

YouWonJayne · 09/05/2023 14:04

Do you want to go round like a zombie all day, not talking to anyone?

Yes.

that sad. Thankfully lots of people dont.

HowcanIgetoutofthisalive · 09/05/2023 14:13

No @ItsCalledAConversation , a company even older than Jones!

callmemavis · 09/05/2023 14:15

YANBU. The one I hate most is when out for dinner and the waiter asks what your plans are for the evening. THIS. This is what I’m doing, having dinner in your restaurant and then I’m going home to a nice cup of tea and bed

AlmostWhitby · 09/05/2023 14:15

user1497207191 · 09/05/2023 13:22

I certainly think they've lost any sense of taking notice of the "markers" as to whether a customer wants to chat or not. Some go on and on when it's blatantly obvious the customer doesn't want small talk. A good shop worker (or any customer/client facing role really) will "read the signs" as to whether the customer wants to chat, wants help, etc., and acts accordingly. It's not rocket science.

As for meeting targets, etc., they can still say what they have to say or try to up-sell etc., without pestering you, and again, they can use the customer's body language to decide which customers they are going to try to up-sell to. I go in WHS quite a lot which is one of the worst "upselling" places where they try to persuade you to buy a bar of chocolate etc every time, but they happily accept a quick shake of the head or a "no thanks" - but at other chains, they don't take the hint and go on and on with telling you what a bargain it is, etc.

We went to car dealerships over the weekend and it's just the same. Some salesmen are an absolute pain in the arse trying to be over-friendly, following you around like a demented puppy dog etc., but others (usually older) read the signs and after a quick "hello" left us alone to view in peace. I'm far more likely to buy the car from the latter rather than a youngster with verbal diarrhoea!

I worked at WHS for a short time, I got a warning for not upselling to a customer who came in every morning and had already said they just wanted their paper and to go.
I mean the guy actually told me he just wanted his paper, yet when I got 'caught' not upselling to him, it didn't matter.

You also had targets for 'Till point conversations' monthly and would get put on a performance plan if you didn't meet them, and could get a warning for not meeting them.

I lasted 6 months. It's ridiculous, it's not even about not being able to use your own judgement/common sense with places like that, I had been told what that customer wanted yet disciplined for doing it, I've never been disciplined in a job before or since then.

But then some people expect an 'experience' buying a pint of milk and to be fawned over and others just want to pay for the pint of milk.
I'd be all up for the badge scheme so I could avoid being complained at/about or bitched at!

No two customers are the same and you have a few seconds to make the judgement, which isn't always easy to do and with some people woe betide if you get it wrong because they'll take it as a personal insult towards them, determined that their preference is the right way and you're useless if you don't know their preference in the few seconds you get before serving someone. With those types it's just a way to feel superior over someone else, nothing to do with customer service.

HideousKinky · 09/05/2023 14:18

My worst experience of this was a really patronising man on the till at Waitrose who asked me whether I was going home to do the ironing?!

ginsparkles · 09/05/2023 14:18

I work in retail. One of the biggest skills is to work out which customers would like a small talk chat and which don't. We don't always get it right but I can tell from the response and will adapt.

Our checkout takes a bit longer than some stores due to the nature of what we sell, and to be honest the small talk makes the whole thing more pleasant than a gaping silence whilst we sort out boxing up, taking money etc.

It's also quite nice for us at the till, as realistically other than the customers, there's often not many folks to talk to through the day.

ohtowinthelottery · 09/05/2023 14:18

Well it's a lot better than the 2 women cashiers in my local Sainsbury store who always seem to sit back to back at the tills furthest from the Supervisor and chat to each other whilst ignoring the customer other than to scan their shopping!

A polite reply to the question is all that's needed if you don't wish to engage. But sometimes it works both ways - quiet day in the shop, day dragging for sales staff. Can brighten their day as well as the lonely customer.
DH & I went to buy sandals for a holiday abroad recently. Young assistant asked if we were going away on holiday. So we said where we were going. He was very excited to tell us he was going abroad for the 1st time in the next couple of weeks. He'd been due to go during Covid and it was cancelled. You could hear his excitement and trepidation in equal measures. We offered reassuring comments and said we felt sure he'd have a good time. You've no idea what that assistant 's home life is like any more than they know yours. But polite responses on both sides cost nothing.

LadyKenya · 09/05/2023 14:20

CamoFlamingo · 09/05/2023 12:49

I hate it too because it's fake. I don't mind it if the person seems genuinely chatty but when they're clearly just reeling off a script it's awkward.

I agree, there is nothing worse than being asked in a tone that suggests that they really do not care what your day has been like, or what you may have planned later that day. Just don't bother. A simple hello works for me!

Liamgallaghersparka · 09/05/2023 14:20

EarthwormJane · 09/05/2023 12:38

You might not like it, but for some people, that person on the till is the only person that they've spoken to all weekend.

👆 This.

JadeSeahorse · 09/05/2023 14:22

AllOrNothingSituation · 09/05/2023 12:42

This is why I use self checkouts

And me!

I'm an unsociable so and so! 🤣

Hbh17 · 09/05/2023 14:23

OP, you are not wrong. I don't want to be asked intrusive questions and I don't want to make small talk with strangers - I just want to get my shopping done as efficiently as possible, in peace and quiet. And then I can go and enjoy a coffee ON MY OWN! We seriously need queues for chatters and non-chatters, because it is a pain when stuck behind someone yacking away.

ThisIsUncool · 09/05/2023 14:24

RowenaRosewood · 09/05/2023 12:42

Omg have you been to Superdrug lately? You spend about 5 minutes of Till time saying "no thank you, no thanks, no, fgs no, nooooo, leave me alone...".

Show quote history

When they did this to me, I left my shopping on the counter and went to Boots instead. It always seems to be the young male assistants who do this.

earsup · 09/05/2023 14:24

Went to Waitrose today, for my fave cookies, check out girl tried to engage me about the coronation....I told her i dont own a tv and have no interest but she persisted asking me about it...! told me I can buy a paper to catch up and use the internet etc....yawn...

Superdrug is awful, lots of pressure to buy a fragrance at check out. Never shop at Currys as super hard sell and awful company. dont mind a little chat at the check out but not the hard sales chat.

givemushypeasachance · 09/05/2023 14:26

In an ideal world there would be "chatty" and "not chatty" tills as suggested above. I've been on both sides - working on a till as an introverted 16 year old during college and university, I didn't want to make small talk with people! I very rarely initiated, but I would be polite and helpful and engage if the customer started a conversation. But these days I always use the self-service if I can, and actively try to avoid the most intrusive staff-approaching shops like Lush. I love Lush products, but it's painful going in there. I try to just smile and say I'm fine thanks, if that sends them away then it's okay but I live in fear of the staff who don't take that brush-off for what it is, and will still try to follow up by engaging with you about "oh I like XYZ too have you tried ABC" or "we've got this new thing here" please don't I just want to quietly browse in peace and get a free spray of perfume from the testers!

Mummyboy1 · 09/05/2023 14:28

Sometimes I'm not in a chatty mood so I'll use the self checkouts, on other days I enjoy some adult conversation as it may be the only adult I've seen all day.