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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you’ve ever needed/been involved with the police?

111 replies

YouWonJayne · 08/05/2023 18:08

Having a conversation with my brother after watching the Raoul Moat dramatisation.

I said I think the vast majority people will need the assistance of the police or will have been on the ‘wrong end’ of the police in their lives. I know I have (on the ‘right’ side). He says he doesn’t know many people who’ve ever needed the police or who are criminals. Have you??

YANBU - I have needed the police in some way or have been involved in a crime
YABU - I’ve never needed the police personally

OP posts:
plasticpens · 08/05/2023 23:10

I got pulled in one night for questioning because they were trying to build a case against someone I was close to. I was brutally questioned and it was traumatic. The officer who led the interrogation lives locally and I have seen him a handful of times over the years and it genuinely throws me back to that night.

I am autistic and have ADHD which I didn't know about then but a great example of 'why get a diagnosis as an adult' it had given me my voice and I would never let anyone bully me like that again.

I'm have never had any other interaction with them

BSB30 · 08/05/2023 23:11

I've been involved with the police many times as a victim. Each and every time they refused to help. I most likely wouldn't call them now for anything unless it was a life threatening emergency.

Mamamia32 · 08/05/2023 23:12

Yes but only to report that my car tyres had been stabbed and they couldn't really do much about it. (Lived in a rough area.)

Confusedmeanderings · 08/05/2023 23:13

I was thinking I hadn't had much to do with them and then realised actually I have.

  • Someone tried to break into my house at night. It was years ago. We didn't have a phone at the time and mobiles hadn't been invented! I had to escape out of the back door and go to the phone box to dial 999. The police were lovely when they came. They even checked under the bed for me so that I wouldn't wake up later in the night and start worrying that some one was hiding there!
  • Got my handbag stolen at the railway station in Liverpool.
  • Was mugged in Bristol - the thieves got away with a bag of marking, but ignored the tatty carrier bag which actually had my purse in. The police did try to find out who did it but were not successful.
  • Dialled 999 to report suspicious activity at the local garage - embarrassingly, it was the morning papers being delivered!
  • I used to teach a small group of children with behaviour difficulties. The local PCSO used to pop in to say hello and play a bit of football with them. He knew all their families. I wasn't surprised.
  • Recently had my handbag stolen from my house. The police really went above and beyond to try and catch the culprits. I was very impressed.
  • Had a head on car accident, which the police attended. I was in shock so I don't remember much!
  • Police attended after the deaths of both my parents (not at the same time), because although they were elderly, the deaths were unexpected. The police were lovely.
So actually I have been involved with them quite a lot!
itsrainin · 08/05/2023 23:13

I’ve reported things to the police both through work and in personal life. I think they’re shit.

DelilahBucket · 08/05/2023 23:16

Lots of times I've called the police, both emergency and none. From being beaten up aged 13 in the bus station, to a car veering across three lanes and back on the motorway, to my elderly neighbour not wanting to bother anyone when his car was broken in to, to my husband being stabbed. They have always been great.

BSB30 · 08/05/2023 23:19

itsrainin · 08/05/2023 23:13

I’ve reported things to the police both through work and in personal life. I think they’re shit.

They refused to do anything when my daughter was a victim of ABH/GBH and is currently still in hospital (3 months on).

The police are beyond appalling.

Davros · 08/05/2023 23:20

I had to ring 999 a couple of months ago as DH was having a psychotic episode and Find Friends showed he was at Heathrow airport, having decided to go for "a walk". They were fantastic, talked me through everything, went and found him, rang me to say he was safe. They looked after him and treated him very well.
My DNiece used to be a copper and her partner is a front line copper in the Met, you couldn't meet nicer, kinder and non-judgemental people.
Considering I've lived in London all my life I've had very little reason to contact the Police and have never been a victim of crime

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 08/05/2023 23:20

I've witnessed people who had held up a business at gun point jump into a car and drive off so we provided the reg to the police. Not in my home city a different one.

I've asked a random passer by to call the police as bf at the time (I was very young) had took my phone and locked me in the property and was making threats to me

I've been pulled over for speeding and when asked what the limit was I sheepishly said "eeerrrr.. 40?" He said no its 30, next time slow down. Think he only let me off as it was midnight and no other cars around.

Been pulled over asked what we were doing driving around insert city here at night (we were from an hours drive away) and when I said we were bored and wanted to watch the places take off they kindly directed us to the airport.

I've witnessed people thrown out of a nightclub by bouncers and spoken with police and helped diffuse a situation and prevent someone from getting arrested (a friend who had an injury and had drunk too much, doormen were heavy handed so she went mental when they hurt her)

I got assaulted once by a random drunken idiot who I should have just ignored but I retaliated to verbally and it escalated and he hit me.

And finally I've curtain twitched and watched from the window the police were out at least once a week over lockdown at the previous area I used to live in and two of my neighbours were constantly drunkenly arguing with each other.

Oh I also have to speak to the police occasionally for my job usually for a welfare check or if they've had to force entry into a property and caused damage.

bicky · 08/05/2023 23:24

Fair few times for domestic violence and I had to phone 999 after finding a lad hanging from a tree, they were brilliant on all occasions,

DojaPhat · 08/05/2023 23:30

Unfortunately yes. All occasions the police were appalling, though expecting otherwise is a bit like expecting a toddler to successfully land a boeing 747.

Danikm151 · 08/05/2023 23:35

Once at 17 a few months after I lost my purse. They had been trying to track me down through hospitals/bank eventually got my details from college. Someone had already been done for theft by finding and I had my cards returned to me. Didn’t get the purse.

Another time when I had been followed and the attacker attempted to drag me into a car park. They took a statement but unfortunately there was nothing they could do to track him down.

Another when I got home to see a crowbar in the backdoor(wooden) and 3 burglars in my garden. Turns out they had been trying to track them down for a lot of local thefts… my statement helped get them caught and the fact they left the crowbar behind.

Nothing in about 10 years though,

Heartofglass12345 · 08/05/2023 23:45

Many times when I was younger due to domestic violence in my house between parents. They knew what was going on but we were never taken away or referred to social services.
Got pulled over (and fined!) once because my numberplate was the wrong font Hmm

Softoprider · 09/05/2023 00:10

Yes I have in the course of my life been involved with the police. I think most of us will for many different reasons. I have met some really decent police officers and some really horrible ones. The good police officers know there are bad ones and for me I think the bad outweigh the good by a country mile

NotMeSecretFormular · 09/05/2023 00:27

Victim of crime, on the whole not very helpful.
I found an 18 year old girl about to commit suicide on a bridge a year ago. Police didn’t even bother to respond at the time, a day later, a week later nothing. Luckily I was able to talk her down and look after her myself after a couple of hours.

NotMeSecretFormular · 09/05/2023 00:28

When I say victim of crime, that's several incidents of domestic violence over several years, unrelated to the girl on the bridge.

NumberTheory · 09/05/2023 03:20

About a quarter of the UK adult population has a criminal conviction.
So that's a sizeable chunk already.

WeeWillyWinkie9 · 09/05/2023 05:35

I was raped. I reported to the police. He had confessed to it. They excused his behaviour. They said some awful things to me. I wouldn't report to them again.

Nonverbalmum · 09/05/2023 05:52

Through work on a daily basis. Have called 999 a couple of times.

Personally only once, after a parcel I ordered from Boots arrived with a few very full cannabis grinders in it. Only called them as Boots didn’t want to know and I really wasn’t sure what to do. They were really helpful and came to the house to collect it while I tried to resolve it with Boots.

tuvamoodyson · 09/05/2023 05:58

No, never.

AWaferThinMint · 09/05/2023 06:09

I’ve had reason to come in contact a few times.

I was burgled and caler the police in an emergency situation when I came back home and they were still lingering, then the follow up.

m I was a witness I’m a criminal case after someone stole money at knifepoint and spent it in the shop I worked in (they arrested the chap in the shop entrance and I had served him)

Then more recently I had to go to the police station to recover my husband’s stolen bike.

on each occasion it’s been a positive experience of the actual officers involved.

Readyforspringtime · 09/05/2023 06:14

Several times over my life, as a victim and witness. Mostly they ranged from useless to absolutely terrible (including the one who assaulted me as a child).

Giggorata · 09/05/2023 06:36

Loads personally and professionally, including squatting, protesting and direct action, obtaining shotgun licence, working with a designated police corporate parent for children in care, acting as Appropriate Adult for children and youths, being requested to attend the station to provide social work support to children and families in cases of accidental death and murder, drinking in the police bar, being burgled and being interviewed under caution when my close friend was involved in a suspicious death.

Lincslady53 · 09/05/2023 06:54

Working in retail and have had to call the police many times when caught people stealing from us. My sons bike was stolen, daughters car stolen, pulled in for speeding, been to a Xmas party at the local police hq with a neighbour who was in the police, got pulled over on the pillion of a motorbike for speeding - the rider was a traffic policeman, a couple of car accidents have involved the police. Sounds a lot, but this us over a 50+ year span. There are probably a few more. Generally I have found them professional and helpful, occasionally arrogant, sarcastic and patronising.

GlitteryUnicornSparkles · 09/05/2023 07:09

Many times I’ve needed them.

When myself and a family member were attacked by a bloke on drugs on the way home from a funeral, he had his head kicked in and a fractured scull I had a suspected broken jaw. It was actually a witness that called the police. We had to do an ID parade. It went to court, he had a list of offences as long as his arm including breaking bale conditions yet only got 3 months and only because he hit a woman!

When I found a man who appeared to be passed out behind the bins in my garden (he was hiding from the police helicopter).

When I was assaulted then thrown and locked out of my house by an ex late at night.

When the same ex stole my bank card details and used them to pay for stuff.

When a stolen car was dumped behind my back gate x2.

When my neighbours had a massive spat and all I could hear was shouting and the kids screaming. The police had been out a few times before called by other neighbours. The kids were removed by social services not long after my call. She ended up with several welfare checks and was later sectioned for a while and lost the house and the council put another troubled family in the house their place.

When a local alcoholic was screaming abuse and trying to kick the front door down of the house across the road and harassing passers by including kids. They’d been out to him a few times didn’t come out again.

Flagged down a police car when I found a drunk man on the side of the road that said he was hurt and they helped to get him home.