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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you’ve ever needed/been involved with the police?

111 replies

YouWonJayne · 08/05/2023 18:08

Having a conversation with my brother after watching the Raoul Moat dramatisation.

I said I think the vast majority people will need the assistance of the police or will have been on the ‘wrong end’ of the police in their lives. I know I have (on the ‘right’ side). He says he doesn’t know many people who’ve ever needed the police or who are criminals. Have you??

YANBU - I have needed the police in some way or have been involved in a crime
YABU - I’ve never needed the police personally

OP posts:
Jewel1968 · 08/05/2023 21:39

We had to involve the police when the next door neighbor's child vandalised our car. I think we had to get them involved because of insurance. They came around and the policeman seemed more annoyed than we were. We were a bit flat. He also seemed sympathetic to the child who clearly had issues. Seemed a nice enough guy.

Oysterbabe · 08/05/2023 21:41

I reported an ex to the police for stalking me. I called the police when I caught my cleaner with her hands in my handbag. They came out on blue lights and arrested her.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 08/05/2023 21:41

Thighlengthboots · 08/05/2023 21:38

I've contacted the police as a victim and received no support

Same here. Police couldn’t even be bothered to update me regarding the armed robbery and whether they were ever caught or not. I have no idea to this day. No one asked me if I was ok and I had no follow up support whatsoever (this was after being held at gunpoint).

It's ridiculous. I'm waiting for anything sort of contact after a crime being committed against me last October. I tried to raise a complaint and was told this isn't what complaints are for.

Thighlengthboots · 08/05/2023 21:41

HunterHearstHelmsley · 08/05/2023 21:41

It's ridiculous. I'm waiting for anything sort of contact after a crime being committed against me last October. I tried to raise a complaint and was told this isn't what complaints are for.

Show quote history

I am so sorry. It’s awful.

AnneElliott · 08/05/2023 21:42

I deal with the police in my job but I have called them as a member of the public. On one occasion they were awful (i was a witness to a GBH) and only behaved properly when I let on where I work (which annoyed me greatly).

On another occasion when 2 men tried to break into our house they were there really quickly and were fantastic.

Both were the Met. In the first instance I complained and the officers got a bollocking and the second time I sent a formal thank you for their help.

Georgina125 · 08/05/2023 21:46

My only interaction was when my newborn son died and the police have to investigate, as a matter of procedure. It was a terrible situation but they were very sensitive, gentle and kind to us. They did what they had to do quickly and I couldn't fault them. The only difficulty was getting back some of the things they had to take for the investigation.

SSCCLL · 08/05/2023 21:53

I've had to call over a crazy ex, 999 when someone I know was attacked and stabbed and know a few people who been in jail. I've been interviewed over something work related, that was difficult. Each time they were fab as they knew I hadn't done anything wrong. I think it's more common than not.

Hellohah · 08/05/2023 22:01

I've had more involvement with the police than I would like considering every interaction has proved them to be bullying, dishonest, incompetent, useless arseholes.

follygirl · 08/05/2023 22:05

@Georgina125 I'm so sorry for your loss

I've had to phone the police twice. Once when a victim of domestic abuse knocked on my door for help and the second time when my husband was beaten up outside our house.
They handled the first situation brilliantly but were rubbish with my husband.

savoycabbage · 08/05/2023 22:11

I have needed the police once in my life and they were beyond useless. Completely incompetent. I hate the police now and I don't trust them an inch. I would be reluctant to have to contact them again.

Sometimes I have to teach 'people who help us' as a topic and it almost kills me. Grin

Freshstarts22 · 08/05/2023 22:18

I’ve probably called 999 at least 15 times in my life. Probably more, due to DV.

Many years later I had a teen tbat used to go AWOL and had to log with 101 frequently.

I couldn’t even begin to work out how many times I’ve had police in my house. They’ve all been great.

s0s0rry · 08/05/2023 22:23

As primary school child, I had an ‘interview’ with the police. Some family members had been charged with manslaughter and I had been with them the evening before the incident happened.

VegetablesFightingToReclaimTheAubergieneEmoji · 08/05/2023 22:28

Yes. I’m always a tea maker when something happens walking distance to my house (which it has too many times).
weve also been victims of a theft which then linked us to a murder (not great support from the police), had an employee steal so reported it to the police (who were great).

parenthoodseason · 08/05/2023 22:35

Yes as a late teen I was arrested three times. Police were nice enough to me each time. I have also had to call the police a few times when in a domestic violent relationship and to get them to remove my ex from the house.

Fairislefandango · 08/05/2023 22:43

Twice. Once over 30 years ago, when I was 18 and still living with my parents. We were burgled (while we were asleep in the house). And once a few years back when I was involved in a car accident.

SnackSizeRaisin · 08/05/2023 22:46

Called 999 and 101 a few times to report crimes...mugging, vandalism, DV, road rage, theft. Have never found the police the slightest bit of use TBH. Generally not interested in either supporting the victim or doing anything about the crime.

The only time one was useful was when my car ran out of fuel on the motorway and I was walking up the hard shoulder with my petrol canister to find a services, at midnight having just got off a long haul flight. (The petrol gauge on the car was broken and I'd only had it a few weeks). He gave me a mild telling off and then a lift which was much appreciated.

Oh and once I asked one if it was allowed to park somewhere. He said it was fine. I got back to find my car had been ticketed.

Babyroobs · 08/05/2023 22:47

I have needed them a few times in my life.
I called 999 the other week due to a commotion going on in our road and someone threatening to stab someone else. Could not have forgiven myself if someone had been stabbed and I had done nothing !
When I was 18 my car was stolen and we caught the car thief in the car and held him until police got there.
Thirdly had a car accident on the motorway and police came as car was a write off and they were very helpful.
have also had dealings with the police when teenage ds witnessed his friend mown down by a speeding driver and police came to interview him next morning - again very kind and compassionate.

InTheFutilityRoomEatingBiscuits · 08/05/2023 22:50

I can’t even count. Yes, I’ve been involved with the police dozens of times from childhood onward. Maybe even hundreds by now. I’ve called 999 maybe 15 times and no, I’m not a drama llama. Or a criminal. Police have searched my home three times. (Again, I’m not a criminal). I’ve been a victim of multiple crimes against my person, had a stalker, and loads of thefts and burglaries. I’ve been in the backs of police cars, witnessed at trials, given evidence at an inquest and been in jails (as a visitor)

I’ve never been arrested and am law abiding.

Allthegoodusernamesareused · 08/05/2023 22:59

HunterHearstHelmsley · 08/05/2023 21:41

It's ridiculous. I'm waiting for anything sort of contact after a crime being committed against me last October. I tried to raise a complaint and was told this isn't what complaints are for.

Show quote history

You can make a complaint via your local Police and Crime Commissioners office. They will follow it up on your behalf.

SnowAtRedRocks · 08/05/2023 23:02

Unfortunately I’ve needed them a few times due to my violent father. Also a family member was involved in quite a serious accident years ago so the police were involved then.

purplecorkheart · 08/05/2023 23:06

My interactions with Police have been

*Babysitting and a random guy tried to kick in front door - the officers who responded were gents and so so kind to me that day.

*Getting my passport forms signed (Ireland).

*My credit card got scammed and I had to get a formed signed by the Police, the lady officer I was dealing with and another in the office were so so kind. I was teary but they both understood as they had their cards scammed and were so kind.

TheTellTaleHeart · 08/05/2023 23:07

Yes, I reported that I had been the victim of domestic abuse.
The MET then did not contact me to take a statement. I chased and chased as there is a 6 month time limit for persuing allegations, otherwise they simply “time out” and cannot be followed up.
The officer finally took my statement over the phone 4 months later. Nobody ever came out to me. The officer asked me if I was sure I wanted to bother, as nothing would come of it. He also said that the second incident, which was witnessed, had now “timed out”….(because he had let it)
The court had to lodge a complaint when it finally came to family court, because the MET didn’t make a full record or transcript of the interview with the abuser. Only that the interview lasted 6 minutes.
I was part of a focus group shortly after, with other women sharing their experiences with the MET following reports of DV and rape. Their stories were heartbreaking and appalling
I never thought I’d be someone who disliked or distrusted the police, and believed, like most people, that overall they did a good job.
I now have to say, that I urge women to believe everything they hear about the MET. In my experience, it’s true.

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 08/05/2023 23:08
  1. When I was a teenager my ex bf ran away with a 15/16 yo girl I was asked to go to the station and give a statement/any information I had.
  1. One weird one where they stopped me and kept implying I'm a prostitute and asked for ID.
  1. Early 20's . Best friend's assaulted her and me and we went to the station to report it and ask about a restraining order. We were young and no idea about the correct terminology or the process. They did do the report I think(not that anything cane of it) and laughed at us asking us if we thought we were in the movies.
  1. DV/toxic relationship situation with the neighbours and again I was asked to give a statement of what I heard/saw during their relationship.
  1. Reported something at work and had a follow up with police .
Casba · 08/05/2023 23:10

Burglary, mugging. Drug dealer neighbour.

Annoyingwurringnoise · 08/05/2023 23:10

Yeah, I’ve had a fair bit. I’ve mostly found them to be useless TBH. They’re far more enthusiastic when they’re trying to pin some trivial misdemeanor onto you than when there’s an actual real crime for them to investigate. I am not a criminal and do not have a criminal record. BTW.