To tell healthy, fit looking, well dressed beggar to get a job?

[duvetcovereddissident]

He is not a local beggar, all of whom I know, and he does not in any way look homeless. He looks to be about 30, healthy and fit, - much fitter than me! Well dressed and clean - much better dressed than me!

He is sitting outside the door to the local supermarket, and put his leg out in front of me as I tried to enter and asked for money.

Less than 6 feet to his left is the door of a cafe, with a sign on it saying "waiter required - apply within". I know those cafe owners, and I am sure that if he had gone in there and asked for a trial shift, rather than settling down outside the supermarket, they would have taken him on for the day to see how he did. They have needed a new waiter for months.

I have every sympathy with homeless and rough sleepers, and people down on their luck. I just think this is a scammer though. He has arrived in the area looking for somewhere to beg, and will probably be going home tonight. He isn't a local man, as I said.

I find the best thing in that situation is to offer to buy them a takeaway drink, get one for yourself as well, then stay with them for a while if they want. Talk with them. Give your time and compassion. Most will volunteer their story and some will tell you what it is they need and you can help them if you and they want.

And yes there are scammers and professional ‘homeless’ who do it for money. They are known to the rough sleeping support teams. Mostly they still have their vulnerabilities and few options. It’s not a particularly attractive career choice to sit on a cold pavement in all weathers being pitied or abused by the public and moved on by the police.

"This is a LOCAL shop for LOCAL people, there's nothing for you here!"

There used to be a young lady, clean and well dressed sitting on a clean sleeping bag with a book begging outside our local BM bargains.

The staff were furious, she was dropped off in the morning, sat there all day reading and begging, then was picked up in the evening. The staff warned us not to give her money or food, security were informed and she hasn’t been back since, quite unbelievable.

Absolutely correct!!

OP, if you help run a local homeless shelter, you will presumably know the best way to approach beggars in order to signpost them towards help. Making immediate assumptions on sight and just telling them to get a job surely isn’t the right way to go about finding out what their individual problems and needs are. So if you did that, or wanted to do it, then I would have to say you were being unreasonable.

Maybe you actually did talk to him to establish his needs ?
Or maybe the cafe owner invited him in for a coffee and a chat about his willingness to work if they are having trouble recruiting.?

These days, people fall on hard times very suddenly, even smart looking people. Why would you assume all beggars are known to you?

On the other hand, your hunch about him could have been correct of course.
But you can’t be 100% sure and I guess it’s not your job as a passer-by to find out and dole out immediate judgement.
Why not speak to the manager of the homeless shelter about situations like this and ask them if you were being unreasonable in your thinking.

I think we all know that the OP doesn't really help run any shelters. If she did, she would not have enough insight not to have made such a snap judgement on the basis of such superficial "evidence".

Indeed!

@duvetcovereddissident why do you care? Just get on with your day.

Never mind about the professional beggars - just keep paying your taxes mugs - more annoying are the eejits who say ‘educate yourself’ it’s so patronising and meaningless

OP you’re really very desperate to convince everyone that this guy is a “professional beggar” aren’t you?

Sitting on a cold floor, being spat on/sworn at/judged for an entirely unreliable income and zero financial security seems like an odd choice of profession to me.

If you’ve spent years working with homeless people then I’m sure you’re well acquainted with the concept of trafficking and forced labour - people forced to beg all day then hand over whatever they’ve ‘earned’ before a shift in a restaurant, a brothel, or whatever other business the traffickers own. So for someone with your experience it seems odd that you’ve reached for “professional beggar” as the only viable explanation.

Who do you think was dropping her off and picking her up, @Snippit? Let me guess, it was a flashy car too? Didn’t speak to anyone, even to say thank you? Not interested in food or a warm drink, just cash?

All of those are classic signs of human trafficking. These people are watched, warned not to speak to anyone, and often punished if they don’t bring back a certain amount of money. So hardly “quite unbelievable” at all.

Cash in hand? So break the law?

I'm in disbelief at this post. You'd think having "worked in shelters" you'd be less ignorant to the realities of homelessness. You may have had a hunch but to verbalise that and subsequently make a post about it is baffling. You asked AIBU and yes, you were.

Absolutely

Mind your own business op and go about your day.

Why anyone wants to start an argument with a homeless person is beyond me.

So much aggression around.

The issue just now is many people have become homeless since covid and CoL crisis, I have seen quite a few who obviously had decent jobs as they have de emt clothes etc but no home anymore. You sound very judgemental, the guy doesn't fit in your box so he is a scam artist

This was one of my first thought too, what a horrid, judgemental person OP is coming across as.

I can assure you as someone with a life long debilitating mental health disorder that your assumptions are incorrect, severe mental health issues tend cause episodes where things fall apart in between you can seem very normal, we are also master at disguising how we feel and what is going on for periods of time them getting home and having nothing else to give. Please do not make assumptions about things you do not understand, it's that kind of attoride that makes the lives of people like me even harder than they are already

I never give them money, instead I go to McDonald's or into a shop for a meal deal, ensuring I get their order so they get something they enjoy rather than any old crap

Another nasty judgemental ass

I've always worked off of a statement that I heard my father make, many years ago. A man was asking for money. My father's friend refused him, but my father gave him a few dollars. Lonnie, my father's friend, said, "Andy, that man is going to buy liquor with that money, not gas for his car!" And Dad replied, "Lonnie, one day that man and I are going to stand before our Maker. I'd rather it be on his conscience that he lied to me than on mine that I refused to help someone based on what they might or might not do."

You cannot tell disabled by looking, not reliably. If you looked at me, you would not think that I am disabled. I am. I have vertigo, sometimes lasting for days at a time, I have persistent atrial fibrillation that has caused a stroke...oh, yeah, I've had a stroke, which messed up my short-term memory and my balance, I have emphysema.

Now, let me add to that, the fact that he stuck his leg out in front of you is absolutely absurd, and I'd have been outraged by that. No matter how much he needs money (and he may), he does not have a right to attempt to block your passage in any way, shape, or form. Because of that, I would probably have passed him by, but not because he looked clean and well-dressed.

Perhaps because the "job" was for a waiter and not a pot washer.
Things that have not happened 2023.

have No idea about ops person but I have met som Begpackers and they are definitely on my list of people I’d like to tell to fuck right off.

You are getting a very hard time OP. It’s fantastic you devote so much of your time helping others.
Sticking his leg out to block you is the complete giveaway for me. I would find that intimidating and he could well actually trip people up.

🤣 said the person calling someone nasty!

I am entitled to my opinion jist like you! My opinion still stands!

I wouldn't dare say anything to him. We have a professional female begger who hangs around Lidl. It's well known that she and her family live in a decent house. She's the granny. She's now started knocking on car windows asking for money. I don't know why Lidl put up with her.