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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Rude ladies at street party.

53 replies

KidneyWarrior · 08/05/2023 14:55

My username says it all really. I'm on dialysis while waiting for a new kidney. I do it from home (pd). I went to a street party yesterday and my two neighbours were talking about my dog. They first told me that he was my DPs dog, not mine, because DP takes him for a walk most of the time, mainly because I'm hooked up to a machine you know. They then inferred that I was lazy - I said, I walk him too sometimes, they said, where, just down the road, and were generally having a good laugh at my expense. I tried to laugh it off so as not to create a scene with the rest of our lovely neighbours. But I am dreadfully tired and dizzy all the time at the moment while I wait for a new organ.

But since I've come home, I've though about it a lot. I feel really worthless while waiting for this transplant, and I feel like I've been judged by two complete strangers to me. I don't look ill at all, and they would have no idea I was ill, but tbh, I didn't feel like explaining my medical health with them. On the one hand, maybe I should have explained why I'm not active at the moment but on the other hand, why should I? However, I now feel really uneasy about the whole episode. I feel dreadful and ill at the moment anyway as I can't sleep so my just be sensitive but I really I feel like these two women were tacky. I still don't know whether to explain myself now. My health feels like it should be allowed to be a private matter, but I don't want these women thinking I'm lazy.

YABU = I should have explained myself and my illness.

YANBU = they should have had more class and noy judged a stranger.

OP posts:
Tiddlypomtiddlypom · 09/05/2023 10:43

KidneyWarrior · 08/05/2023 21:49

@Tiddlypomtiddlypom Part of me wishes I'd said something. But my overriding instinct was not to cause unpleasantness, especially to our lovely neighbours who had planned the event. But I've felt awful today, they must be watching my house, and judging that DH does more than me. And I feel awful that I was told our dog is not really my dog. It was so rude. Would she have liked it if I said her children were more her DH's than hers? This is the first time I have ever met this woman.

It was astonishingly rude. I’m not surprised you feel awful. They were extremely nasty pieces of work who crossed several lines. I hope the truth of your situation finds its way back to them. But I admire your grace in the situation. I wouldn’t have been so polite and it probably would have caused problems. You did the right thing.

But I do hope they learn the truth and I particularly hope they feel like the absolute arseholes (gender neutral insult for @CovertImage there) when they do.

IamnotSethRogan · 09/05/2023 10:50

You absolutely don't have to tell anyone anything that you don't want to.

I however might have relished making them aware of what utter dickheads they are by telling them, but I am a petty person.

TheSerenDipitY · 09/05/2023 11:03

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